Hi everyone,
I wanted to share some more of the details that happened surrounding dad’s transition to heaven. While we already were comforted by the reality of heaven and that dad is now with God for eternity, the following things have just reiterated that and comforted us even more.
Backing up a bit, on Monday June 7 (two days before dad died), I remember thinking about my parents and how if/when their health was failing, I would come back from the mission field to take care of them. The night before I had come across several verses about caring for your parents, and I was evidently still reflecting on that. To be honest, I hadn’t thought much about caring for them in their old age before that…I figured it was years off. But nonetheless, it was on my mind those days.
That day I taught my last lesson (before I flew home) to teens in an after-school club in Botswana. The topic: Eternal perspective. I drew a long line from one side of the white board all the way to the other and just erased a tiny fingernail-width sliver. That tiny sliver represented our time on earth as compared to eternity. I tried to convey that our time spent on earth is SO EXTREMELY SHORT compared to the FOREVER of eternity, and that our choices (chiefly our decision regarding Christ) and our actions here on earth will determine what our life will be like FOREVER for eternity. Using an analogy they would grasp, I shared that just as one poor decision to have unprotected sex (or even “protected”) can result in having HIV/AIDS for the rest of their lives on earth…in an even more significant case, our decisions in this short life on earth will determine our future FOREVER in eternity.
Shortly after that lesson, back at home we had our Setswana lesson, and we learned how to say “has”—that something “has” something else. After the lesson, I saw one of the posters on my wall with verses in Setswana and quickly recognized and understood that same concept. Without my Setswana dictionary, I was excited to finally be able to translate it fully: “He who has the Son of God has eternal life.” I did look up khutleng just to make sure it meant ‘eternal’ and, sure enough, it did. That was the one new word I learned…eternal.
Who knew that a few days later, that verse would comfort me about my dad in a fresh way. The first night after learning about dad I ended my journaled prayer by asking God to help me keep an eternal perspective and to focus on how dad is with Him and we’ll be reunited before long in light of eternity. Then after I flew here, I learned more about dad’s last 15 minutes and how eternity had been on his mind too…
I learned that it was not actually during the men’s study that dad had passed away, but he had lingered in the church after the meeting was officially over to talk with some men he hadn’t met before that night. One of them, Tim, wrote up a description of dad’s last 15 minutes:
Wednesday June 9, 2010
Our first session of the “Wild at Heart” series had just ended at Grace Ministry Center, and several people were still lingering, so I went up to a gentleman that I had not met named Hugh. I introduced myself and he did likewise. I said to him “I detect a slight accent, are you from England?” He replies “Yes”, and our conversation began. Hugh shared about meeting his wife and how they decided to move to the U.S. because of the economic conditions in Britain and how it seemed better to them to live here and be able to visit more often with that set-up than the other way. I could tell this man was full of passion and loved his wife by how he spoke of her.
Hugh shared about his daughter named Emily, sometimes referring to her as “Em”. He said that he was amazed at the power of prayer, and shared how Emily was in a serious accident right before she was to go overseas for missionary work, and how the group that she was with, I believe YWAM [actually Youth for Christ], was based out of Denver, where the accident occurred, and how those folk rallied around her in support and prayer, and how God raised her from her bed of affliction. He told me that Emily was now in Botswana serving the Lord, and I could see by the excitement in his voice that He was proud of her.
We got to talking about the things of God and Hugh commented about the recent volcanic eruption in Iceland, and how God will settle that environmental condition in due time. He also mentioned the fallacy of “Global Warming.” Hugh spoke about the vastness of God’s handiwork and how much bigger and more powerful are His works than that of mankind. In a reflective moment, Hugh recalled the beautiful sunrises and sunsets up in Lexington that he and his wife had witnessed together in their stay there.
At some point in our conversation of about fifteen minutes or so, Hugh said “We just don’t get what Eternity is all about. We are here for such a short time compared with Eternity”. I could see that he reflected often on the things of God and His ways. He longed for more of God and wanted to experience the fullness of all that the Lord had for him. The time spent in dialog with Hugh will be something I will always remember, and I’m sure we will be able to pick it up on the other side.
---------------------------------
Wow…so some of dad’s last words were about eternity, eternal perspective, and how life on earth is SO SHORT compared to eternity! Pastor Mitch, in his eulogy last Tuesday, remarked that dad had just been saying regarding eternity, “We just don’t get it!” and five minutes later, he got it! :). Tim told me in person that dad had also been sharing about his faith background with them that night. So not only did dad go straight from the house of God to the House of God…but right after sharing about his life, family, God, and eternity!
After learning that dad had collapsed while lingering after the actual study finished, I realized how beautiful it truly is that it was there that he died. Had he left right after the study to return home, he could have been driving at that moment; and I know all too well what can happen when someone loses consciousness at the wheel on the freeway... So that makes that 15 minute conversation all the more precious and priceless.
In retrospect, I recalled that the reading in my daily bible plan for June 9 (when dad died suddenly) included this verse: “For man does not know his time. Like fish that are taken in an evil net, and like birds that are caught in a snare, so the children of man are snared at an evil time, when it suddenly falls upon them”— Ecclesiastes 9:12.
Our priest and youth pastor for over a decade, Father Darryl Pigeon, also gave a eulogy at dad’s funeral/celebration service. He shared how dad had truly ruminated and meditated on a particular story in one of his sermons…so much so that even 6 full months later, dad brought it up again in conversation with him. It was a story of how the demonic beings were strategizing with Satan how to win as many humans as possible to hell instead of heaven. One suggested spreading the lie that there is no heaven. “Nope…that’s been tried and didn’t really work.” “Ok, what about telling them there’s no hell?” “Nope…tried and failed.” Then an old, wise demon being piped up, “I know…let’s tell them there’s no hurry.” I am thankful that dad lived with a sense of urgency and readiness in his own life…and it influenced the way he interacted with others. He kept an eternal perspective. And soon after his funeral, I found a post-it note next to his bedside table in my hand-writing that simply reads “eternal perspective.”
Another thing I discovered the day or so after the funeral was related to the piano piece dad had urged me to listen to recently in an email on May 30, “I Giorno” by Italian composer Ludovico Einaudi. Due to the slow internet connection in Botswana, I had not been able to watch/listen to the You Tube link dad had sent me. The day after the funeral though, I remembered and realized I could now listen to it (you should too!). I looked up more information online, only to discover that “I Giorno” was inspired by a 12th century folk song from Mali, Africa. 'The song,' writes Einaudi 'is sung as a lament for the death of a king or a great person or for the loss of a loved one.'
Many comments shared how they played the piece at funerals. Last week when I was recounting some of these things in an email to a friend and just about to share about “I Giorno,” I glanced over and noticed dad’s Anglican Book of Common Prayer that I had been looking for since I got home. When I picked it up, there was a small piece of paper sticking out from it with dad’s handwriting on it. The only words written there were these: “I Giorno -- Ludovico Einaudi.” I checked to see where the paper had been inserted…it was at Psalm 139, which includes: “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make the grave my bed, you are there!... In your book were written all of my days, when as yet there were none of them” (v.6-8,16).
The same day I found that (Saturday, June 19), I went with my aunt Roni and cousin Tess from England to the lakeside craft fair in my hometown Lexington. I passed by a booth for homemade soaps without really looking, but Tess called me back… “Em, this looks like your dog!” I returned to the booth to see a picture of a beagle, and not just any beagle, but Chester himself! It was a card sent from Chester [my parents really…Chester hasn’t mastered literacy yet] to the soap makers (based about an hour away) thanking them for their amazing soap that took away all his itchies! The soapmakers were like, “Oh, that looks like your dog?” and I responded, “No…that IS my dog!”
It was a cool thing not only to see Chester “famous” in his endorsement, but also a surprising gift to see that Chester’s note was in my dad’s handwriting. Nothing like an unexpected humorous note in dad’s handwriting! Also, at that craft fair we went to a booth with wooden carved picture frame mattes and one of the ones at the front of the stacks had a school bus carved in it. My dad loved being a school bus driver for over 15 years so I knew I had to get it to give to Mom the following day, Father’s Day. It has a bunch of openings for pictures so we are working on just the right combination.
The next day, Father’s Day, was one of the more emotional ones for me…understandably. I know that I am extremely blessed to have had such a wonderful father. I have been compiling many of the memories of him and will share that sometime soon…and recounting it all at once has reiterated to me just how blessed I am to call him father. And I know that the Father he often pointed me toward will be with me always – “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation” (Psalm 68:5).
After church, Mike, one of the young men training for ministry who works at the church came over for lunch. Dad and Mike had gotten pretty close and we learned from Mike that Dad would stop by and chat/counsel/mentor Mike or just leave notes of encouragement on his desk. His last one was something to the effect of, “Michael, you’ve gotta read What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey!” On Sunday at our house, Mike was describing how his [Mike’s] model of leadership is like the Moses-Joshua successor concept – that he wants to train up and prepare leaders under him so that if anything were to happen to him or if God quickly called him elsewhere, his ministry would continue by those he had trained.
Just a few minutes later, Mike picked up a big hardcover study bible (that Philip Yancey actually gave me and I gave Mom & Dad) that was on our coffee table to look inside. He opened to the page where there was a piece of paper with notes handwritten by my dad. And what did it say?
“Joshua effect – leaders need to train a successor. What is your ministry? Who will follow?”
!!! Mike was stunned a bit seeing that in dad’s writing after he’d just been saying that same exact thing! Mom had already bought another copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace that she was planning on leaving on Mike’s desk at church when he wasn’t there so he would find it, just like he would find dad’s previous notes. After that, she also included dad’s note about the Joshua leadership model that we now know both he and Mike value. She wrapped it nicely and left it on his desk. Mom even found and photocopied dad’s signature and pasted it in the front of the book.
Turns out, Mike discovered it right after he had come to mow our lawn. He had called one night to ask if he could mow our lawn right as another family friend visiting us was about to show mom how to start our lawn mower (one I’ve never used either—we just sold our riding mower). Mike insisted he would be honored to do it, so he came over, mowed with abandon, and then we all shared a meal outside in the garden. Moments later, Mike would discover the gift left for him on his desk.
Late on Father’s Day, I found something that I will treasure and take back with me to Botswana—a Beanie Baby bear that I gave dad years and years ago. It’s a blue bear named Pops with a tie decorated with British Union Jack flags. Its tag reads: “Pops—My Dad has such a great big heart; He’s kind and fun and really smart; He always finds the time to play; I want to be like him someday!”
In conclusion, after talking to Mom, we’ve realized that the very last time I talked to dad on the phone was when I just felt that unexpected desire welling up in me to just call home from my cell phone while stuck in traffic in Botswana for the express purpose of just taking a minute or two to tell dad and mom I love them! I also had a desire to call those last couple nights, and I even shared that in my last email to dad the day he died.
Though that phone call never happened, I am thankful to have emailed him— as I shared before, I felt led to email him on the day he died and ended with “I love you!!!!” and he wrote back just hours before he died, ending with “Luv ya back!” And how beautiful in retrospect to realize that the last time I heard dad’s voice was when I felt led for the first time in my life to call for just a couple minutes to tell my parents I love them!
And so even in the midst of this hard time, it hasn’t been hard to see the ways God has been comforting us. There’s more, but this is long enough for now. Stay tuned for some more meaningful and entertaining stories ;). Thanks again so much for all the prayers, cards, gifts, visits, hugs, etc. You’ve helped us feel God’s comfort as well.
Blessings,
Em
P.S. While I am on this side of the Atlantic, we thought I would get my jaw checked out again by the specialist in Minnesota since it’s been acting up again for over a month and a half. So it looks like I will be in Minnesota next week sometime…still working out the details. I know God can heal my jaw so let’s pray to that end!
P.P.S. Tonight Mom and I are going to an outdoor concert at DTE (formerly Pine Knob) amphitheatre to see Christian artists Toby Mac and Chris Tomlin. We are excited!!
No comments:
Post a Comment