Read this first!

Dumelang!  (hello everyone!)

Well, I am going to start posting all the recent posts from my other blog and some I haven't posted yet that led up to leaving the States [and now in Botswana] as a Youth for Christ [YFC] longterm missionary.  So there will be a lot posted all at once now, but after this, it will be like a regular blog updated every so often. 

I will be creating pages with tabs/links at the top that can fill you in more on the background of my story.  I already created one called "The Road to Botswana" that gives an overview of the last 10 years and how God has led me to Botswana.  Check for other tabs/links soon that will share more about how God confirmed His call for me to be here...and also about the overview of the recovery and redemption God has brought from the high-speed rollover accident that I survived in February 2008, through which 3 friends went Home to be with the Lord.

So I'll start now with the recent story of how God has been encouraging me for my ministry in Botswana with the story of Caleb:

Last May, the YFC Botswana director, E.J., told me that I will be engaging in hard, pioneering work in Botswana. So as not be overwhelmed, E.J. said I need to view it as a challenge; to be like Caleb at age 85: Instead of choosing the “move-in ready” plains for his inheritance in the Promised Land, he chose the hill country city of Hebron where he knew he’d have to drive out the Giants who still possessed it (Josh. 14). Even though he was 85 years old, Caleb triumphantly cried, “Give me this mountain!” and drove out the Giants by God’s strength.

Soon after E.J. told me that, I felt led to a book in my room I’d never read and saw where it said, “I am committed to being part of the ‘Caleb generation’ that says, ‘Give me this mountain!’” Over the next several minutes, I came across an uncanny amount of things mentioned in that book that relate to my life and calling, i.e. Acquire the Fire (the youth event at which I was inspired by Columbine’s Rachel Scott to let God lead my life); Columbine and Rachel Scott (incl. her desire to be a missionary and how she’d signed up to go on a mission trip that I know now was to Botswana!); Servants of the Call—a movement of people I joined in Botswana in 2004 who commit to help fulfill the Great Commission; Youth for Christ; missionaries in Botswana; praise and worship increasing globally—“a gentle army of worshiping warriors” rising up; and a prediction that the church will begin to turn back the plague of AIDS in Africa as discipleship impacts the continent! So, the book (The Missions Addiction, David Shibley) that mentions so many things related to my life had Caleb’s “Give me this mountain!” cry too!

Then last week [Jan 14, 2010], as I sat down to browse through a few books at a bookstore, one of the books fell open and my eyes fell on this:

“The next generation of African leaders is going to rise up from these millions of orphans as Dreamers who will slay the great Giants of the continent. But time is running out. In Botswana, just three hours north of where we live, four out of every ten adults are dying of AIDS. Churches, agencies, and willing families in the region cannot keep up with the need. Still, I believe we are going to see one of the greatest miracles in modern history. Why? Just look at the size of our Giants! And dedicated Warriors are rising up and attacking them” (The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson).

I had no idea that book had anything to do with fighting AIDS and helping AIDS orphans, in Botswana no less!! The next page read, “Will you take up the challenge that so many have avoided?” I was amazed to read the exact same story about Caleb at age 85! It even quoted the text, “Give me this mountain!” All this in a section entitled, “Turn the Tide” [of AIDS]. In the next several minutes, I came across that same story of Caleb at age 85 –“Give me this mountain!”—in another book! Then as I was putting those books back on the shelf, I picked up a daily devotional. I opened right to a page entitled, “Caleb: Ready and Hopeful”—about when Caleb was 85 years old and trusted that he could drive out the Giants and take the mountain by God’s strength!!!

That night I remembered that for a class at Bethany, we had to list our Top 50 Dreams and I thought “turning the tide of AIDS” was part of them. Indeed, top two dreams -- given by, and only possibly fulfilled by the Dream Giver [God]-- were the following:

1. Help turn the tide of AIDS in part or all of Botswana


2. Save people’s lives and prevent children from being orphaned by helping kids find Christ and the power to abstain before they find AIDS

And during a break while writing the above stuff about Caleb/ “Give my this mountain!” in my latest Youth for Christ newsletter, I happened to listen online for the first time to a prayer by a Christian leader visiting Bethany, where I studied and mentored, who prayed that God would help us take Hebron (the mountain in the same Caleb passage in Joshua 14!) and drive out the enemies (Giants)! Wow…so I’m thinking God wants me to go forward with courage, rise up and attack the Giants of AIDS, poverty, and hopelessness and help establish the kingdom of God in Botswana! That same day, I found notes I took at a 2001 conference that mentioned Joshua 14 and how God kept Caleb alive and strengthened in the wilderness so He could use him to help fulfill His promise and purpose! Caleb said, “And now, behold, the Lord has kept me alive…I am still as strong today as the day that Moses sent me…So now give me this mountain…!” (Josh. 14:10-12). Like Caleb, God has kept me alive and strengthened me through the wilderness of recovery, and now the day has finally come when He can use me in Botswana for His purposes. I know I cannot fulfill this call in my own strength; but just as Caleb drove out the Giants by God’s strength and presence with him, so too by God’s strength and presence, I can do whatever He’s called me to do. “Give me this mountain!”

The next day [Jan. 24] on my flight to Denver, which interesting enough had a connection in Charlotte, N.C., I sat next to a man from Charlotte who was on his way to a spiritual retreat in Colorado called “The Restored Warrior.” We talked the whole flight and it felt like we truly were meant to be sitting next to each other, especially since we had all had to re-check in at the gate and get new seats right before boarding! Anyway, the concept of being restored was the prevailing theme of that trip to Colorado, back to Mission Training International (MTI) where we’d been training before the accident, and the accident site…that God had been, and was still restoring and strengthening me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to go forth to Botswana. And with the Caleb thing and “dedicated Warriors rising up to attack the Giants in Botswana” from that Dream Giver book, being a “restored warrior” was a fitting description of what the Lord was speaking to me lately.

A couple nights later while at MTI, I stopped by the bookstore and picked up a book called Voices of the Faithful – and randomly read a few entries, coming across this one (out of 450 pages) --

Hope in a hopeless situation


“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have  suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10).


A team member and I were given a tour of Bauleni compound by the organizer of the caregivers to AIDS patients. …One patient we visited was a young woman in her late stages of the disease; she was lying on a mat. The smell of decay hit me. She did not have the strength to brush off the flies that were covering her body. Around her were her four children, the eldest being 9 years old. Her single complaint was of a sore neck from lying in the same position. I could only give her some pain pills and some cool water. We prayed for her, and she said she did know Jesus as her Lord. A beautiful smile lit her face.


This was one of the most painful but wonderful days in my life. The needs are overwhelming. I know that I can’t help everyone; it is humanly impossible. With the Lord as my guide, I hope to provide much more than physical comfort to these people so close to death. The AIDS pandemic appears hopeless to the world, but it can still be an opportunity of hope through eternal life with Jesus. -Helen, missionary in Central, Eastern, and Southern Africa


Father of all grace and comfort, how unspeakably precious is the priceless treasure of your eternal presence indwelling frail, temporal vessels of clay. Grant a special grace this day to those who suffer incredible pain and poverty around our world and strengthen missionaries who minister to them. Amen.


**How absolutely perfect!! The verse at the top (1 Peter 5:10) could be the theme verse for what God was speaking to me that week…that God Himself is restoring me after I’ve suffered for a little while [through my accident]…and He is making me strong, firm and steadfast to be one of those missionaries who minister to AIDS victims in Africa and offer hope in a hopeless situation.

The next day, I hiked a mountain by myself in Palmer Lake, CO that I had never finished hiking before the accident.  That night I picked up the book The Shack, which I bought months earlier at the suggestion of many people but had never read.  When I picked it up it was opening to a certain page and I just read what was at the top:

“Today we are on a healing trail to bring closure to this part of your journey—not just for you, but for others as well. Today, we are throwing a big rock into the lake, and the resulting ripples will reach places you would not expect.”

When I read about "the healing trail to bring closure to this part of the journey", I just broke down weeping, thinking that is exactly what God is doing having me here at MTI again hiking these trails and back at the place of my deepest pain…like how God drew the man back to the Shack, the place of his tragic loss. I had thought yesterday or earlier today when I saw The Shack, that MTI is like my shack, the place where the tragedy is most real for me and yet the place God has beckoned me in order to meet me with His healing, restorative love and grace.

The next morning right before I left MTI, I wrote this prayer in my journal:

Lord thank you for leading me back here, where my deepest pain meets, and is overshadowed by Your deeper love, comfort and restorative grace. Father I love You. You are so completely faithful – You will never leave me. You will never leave my side. And You never have. Not Feb 3, 2008. Not ever. And You are taking care of us all – Your grace has been sufficient to help us carry on and not just to carry on but to triumph – to stand upon the mountains with You. Thank you for continuing to heal my heart and to restore me inside and out. And here I sit, nearly two years after my world was turned upside down, about to embark on the journey to Botswana at long last, and You have all but deafened my heart with Your beautiful whispers and triumphant calls to go forth with courage and Your strength into the battle. A restored warrior – that’s the message You’ve been speaking. You’ve restored me to be a warrior – “Give me this mountain!” I go forth from this place into my destiny, knowing You go before me, behind me, with me, and in me. Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?

Later that same day, I saw this billboard: “Helping [weakened] warriors get back in the battle”!! This was when I was riding with Robin (the woman who prayed for us at the accident scene) and on that ride I had been sharing about how God has been restoring me, that "restore" was the big theme of this trip to Colorado. I had told her about the guy on the flight to Denver going to the retreat called “The Restored Warrior.”

to be continued in the next post...