So to recap, I was out in Colorado for my Youth for Christ commissioning service and also to revisit Mission Training International (where we'd all been training before we got into the accident in February 2008), and to stay with the family who had prayed for us on the scene of our accident. After I returned to Michigan from Colorado on January 30, I spoke at a young adult bible study a couple days later [Feb 1] and kept getting things ready to leave for Botswana. It happened that my last Sunday in the States was Super Bowl Sunday. Two years ago, we never made it to church on Super Bowl Sunday (our accident was on the way). This year on Super Bowl Sunday, I was commissioned, prayed over, and sent out from my church to go to Botswana. Beautifully triumphant? I’d say.
I am still planning on writing a book about all of this…and author Philip Yancey continues to be supportive and encouraging. He emailed me just after my commissioning on SuperBowl Sunday…here’s an excerpt: “The commissioning and departure couldn't have been more timely. May you sense God's presence—and smile—as you begin this next chapter of life.” I know it will be hard to find the time to write a book on the mission field, so if you think of it, I’d love prayer for the grace to do that. Kinda funny how I just went on a retreat the Monday and Tuesday before I left Michigan (the day after Super Bowl Sunday) at a chapel/cabin in the woods up where I used to live, and of all the books on the bookshelf in there, and of all the pages, I ended up reading [in a book I had no idea involved missions] about a woman who was on her way to the mission field in Japan and felt overwhelmed and not ready for the tasks ahead, but the Lord reassured her that she was prepared and “Christ-in-her” was able to do more than she had ever expected:
“In the ensuing months things began to be done through me—things I could not possibly have done from my own resources [i.e. starting a school]. My first book was written in a way so guided by the Lord that I still marvel.”
So that was very timely in encouraging me that God has prepared me as well (even that night I was feeling kind of inadequate for the tasks ahead), and it gives me hope in that she wrote her first book while on the mission field…and so I pray mine will be similarly guided.
That whole prayer cabin retreat was a gift from the Lord!…In December, I was just feeling kinda burnt-out and yearning for a vacation, but what about support-raising, packing, etc etc? I wondered if I’d ever be able to relax and have a break before I left for Botswana. Right after thinking that, I got an email from a friend and clicked on his blog link at the bottom. A year or so ago, he had gone on a prayer retreat to a hermitage (little cabin) in the woods to get away with God. That looked SO appealing, but I knew I didn’t have time left to do it in Minnesota. So I started looking online for similar places in Michigan, to no avail. The next day, I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was like, “Oh, well, didn’t you know that Richard and Nancy built a prayer cabin in their woods for people in ministry to get away and be renewed?! Dad just saw Nancy yesterday in the grocery store and she asked how you were doing…I’m sure they would love to have you come!” You don’t understand how absolutely perfect this is! –Richard and Nancy are two of my supporters, and they live just half a mile from where I grew up in the woods and only about a quarter mile from the stretch of beach where God called me to missions and later to Botswana! I used to run/bike down their road all the time. So it is truly like ‘home’ to me. [But I was living 45 minutes away with my parents where they moved in 2008 so it’s hard for me to go there anymore and there’s no ‘home’ base to park or chill at].
I mentioned in my Christmas card to Richard and Nancy I might be interested in coming in January to their prayer cabin if it’s available. I said I would call sometime, but I forgot. Then while I was in Colorado at the end of January, I was reading my daily devotional book and felt for some reason I should go on and read the next day’s entry as well. It said this:
"Plan your retreat days now and then—days when you live apart with Me, and arise rested and refreshed—physically, mentally, and spiritually, to carry on the work I have given to you. I will never give you a load greater than you can bear."
**Literally within 5 minutes of reading that, Richard called me on my cell phone and told me that their prayer cabin in the woods is available if I’d like to have a retreat there with God before I leave for Botswana!!!! So after just reading that devotional, I knew that the Lord was leading me to go to their cabin. That’s where I spent my last Monday and Tuesday in the States (actually less than 24 hours)…and it was truly a blessing. The Lord really did refresh me and assure me of His presence with me…that He has sufficiently prepared me to go; that even when I was running/biking those country roads, hiking those woods, walking along that beach, God knew the plans He had for me and was preparing me, even back then, to step into them now.
A couple days later [Feb11], I went back to my home town Lexington (where the retreat was) for the last time. I was able to park at my old house in the woods because family friends bought it recently! I then was able to go for a run/walk down the dirt road to the lake, a route I frequently ran while growing up and through college. It leads down to the stretch of beach where the Lord first whispered to my heart the call to missions and to Botswana. It was absolutely beautiful with all the untouched snow and ice built up on the shore at sunset time. So I was able to say goodbye to that, my favorite place in the world to just chill with God – you cannot see another house either way you look down the shore...just natural shoreline. I have never once seen another person when I’ve been there spending time with God. So I said goodbye to that place, but I know that it’s not really the place itself, but the Lord, who makes that spot special. And I know that the Lord will be with me in Botswana too, and we will find a place to chill...or toast....together in Botswana!
After that I stopped into the missions meeting at a supporting church in the community and saw some friends and supporters too who had come out to say goodbye. It was a sweet time of fellowship and prayer. As I drove home, I wanted to see the stars one last time in America (where I live with my parents is in a city so the stars are not nearly as stunning as in Lexington). I decided I would go down to the lake to look at them, and ended up parking by the harbor. The light from the street lamps above the parking lot was still bright so I decided to walk out onto the creaky frozen wooden dock out into the harbor (which I’ve never done in winter and barely ever have done in the dark…never to stargaze). After a couple minutes, I turned to go back and saw the arched sign over the entryway to the dock which says Lexington State Harbor on it. I thought, “It’s time to leave the harbor.” As soon as I thought it, it hit me that the Lord was speaking that to my heart… “It’s time to leave the harbor behind and go out into the unknown [in Botswana]. But I will be with you, and it will be worth it; this risky adventure will be worth it.”
Just 20 minutes later, I stopped into Barnes and Noble bookstore even though it was closing in 10 minutes because I just felt like the Lord wanted to show me something (God often speaks to me through books, but I have never stopped in just for that reason). I came across a devotional called Jesus Calling and picked it up to flip to that days date, but in the process saw the entry for February 14, the day I would be leaving on the adventure to Botswana. Here is the entry:
Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you…Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
The next day or the day after, I found a little book called His Thoughts Said…His Father Said by Amy Carmichael, and it reminded me of the harbor thing:
IS THAT NOT WORTHWHILE?
The son said, I think of the pain of life that is perpetual for those who live to serve their fellows. Is it all worthwhile?
His Father said, Those that serve their generation are like the sailors that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in deep waters. But it is these, not those who play in the shallows, who see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. Is not that worthwhile?
That day, Friday Feb 12 (two days before I left for Botswana), my chiropractor in Michigan was describing again how incredibly amazing it is that I survived. He said the odds were like a million to one that I would survive and be walking now. A million to one!?!? My eyes got really big, and I said I didn’t realize it was that amazing that I survived, and he was like, “Oh yeah, if it were a gambling matter, I would’ve put all my bets on you not surviving that. I think there’d be better odds of me getting mauled by a grizzly bear and a polar bear in the same day!” He looked me in the eye and said, “You should have been killed. But there’s something you’re supposed to do...you are still supposed to be here.”
to be continued in the next post...
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