Hi everyone!
I’ll catch you up to speed on what life’s been like here. Ok, last Friday and Saturday (Feb 19 and 20) were YFC staff training at the national office here in Mochudi. Then Saturday night YFC runs what is called “Coffee Bar” (in the summer it’s more like “Ice-cold water” because that’s what we serve, but in the winter it’s coffee). It’s just a 3 hour time when local youth can come and play games, pool, foosball, ping-pong, football (soccer), four-square, etc. It’s a way to build relationships with kids and we take 5-10 minutes in the middle of the evening to share a quick message about Christ/the gospel/God's love, etc. I used to play ping-pong and four-square at my youth group growing up, so it was a great trip down memory lane. I must’ve played four-square for like 2 hours straight! There were 50+ teens there last week, including two twins named Elijah and Elisha!
Last Sunday I went to a local church in Mochudi. The service was almost 4 hours long! Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday I went out with the YfC dance and drama team (composed of 7 members who are Batswana Christians 18-25 years old) to their presentations to 13-15 year olds at 3 local schools. They do a long program involving dance and long skits that share about the gospel, encourage abstinence, and raise awareness about AIDS. Then we try to build relationships with kids afterwards and invite them to get connected to other YfC events. After the presentation last Tuesday, I overheard one of the team members encouraging a group of kids who had gathered around him, urging them to wait till marriage for sex…that it’s possible…commit their lives completely to God and He will give them the strength to abstain from sex. It’s possible because God gives you the strength.” I said “yeah” in agreement, and he said, “She even came all the way from the United States to encourage you guys in this.” I shared, “ I am 26 years old and have waited…it’s possible, by God’s grace. Wait, it’s worth it…”
The actual dance/drama program is well received by the students. The kids love it when the team dances (they scream from excitement every time the team starts dancing—like hip-hop dancing) and sings. And the students laugh a lot, and sometimes cry, from the dramas. The dramas are mainly in Setswana, so I don’t know what’s so funny, but someday I’ll understand it! Along that vein, I have been attending a Setswana class on Monday nights and practicing with a CD-rom I brought. I hope to find a language tutor/helper soon who can help me learn.
Also on Monday, the cool story happened that I mentioned last post (sharing the gospel with the taxi driver Kagiso). A great first week here in Botswana!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sharing the gospel in a taxi!
So today (Monday, Feb 22) I received a marriage proposal on the walk home from work for lunch (a sister who was trying to set me up with her brother). Then, partially because of that marriage discussion, I was running late to get back to the office to leave for the dance and drama performance. As I was walking along the road, Kagiso [a Botswana man in his mid-late 20s] drove by in his taxi and called out, “Emily!! Want a ride?” We have only met once, last Wednesday when I rode with him the few minutes into Mochudi so I was surprised that he remembered my name! I didn’t have any money on me, and told him that, but he was like, “It’s ok, I’ll take you for free.” He insisted [and he is a kind guy some of the other missionaries know too], and since I was running late, I figured, Why not? [I did of course think about whether this was wise, but felt it was good...it's a lot safer here than I had thought, ie little girls walk home alone from school, women walk alone everywhere]. So I got in and after only about 30 seconds, he asked me, “So, are you a Christian?” I said yes, and asked if he is. He said he’s not really sure. He believes in God…”I think God is ok, I have no problem with God; I’m ok with God. If what makes you a Christian is that you pray, well I pray…but I do not go to church. So I’m not sure…I don’t think I’d call myself a Christian. Because don’t Christians go to church? I can’t because I work then.”
I told him that yes, Christians usually go to church, but that isn’t what makes them Christian. It is about a relationship with Christ, not what you do or whether you go to church. He seemed really open and expecting me to continue, so I ended up being able to share the gospel with him in the taxi! I talked about sin (the bad things we do and have done) that have separated us from God because God is holy and perfect. I shared how the penalty/wages/result of our sin is death, separation from God. He said that he knows of plenty of sinners who haven’t died…and I explained that it means spiritual, eternal death/separation from God. He didn’t think we live forever, so I shared my belief that we all live forever, either eternally in the presence of God (heaven) or eternally apart from the presence of God (hell). I shared that God loves us and wants to have a close relationship with us, so He sent His Son Jesus to come to earth, live a perfect life, and die in our place and rose again to conquer death so we wouldn’t have to suffer that eternal death/separation from Him. Because of His death on the cross, those who accept Him into their lives as their personal Lord and Savior, confessing and turning from their sins and from their own way to follow Christ and His way…these have their sins forgiven and washed away.
Kagiso then asked, “How can we live a pure life in this sinful world? There is so much sin…I don’t think it’s possible to live a pure life…” I explained that when you give your life to the Lord, you are forgiven of your sins and they are washed away…and then God the Holy Spirit comes to live inside you and gives you the power to change and live a more pure life in your actions…You will still mess up here and there (a person does not become perfect the minute they become a Christian…when they sin, they confess and Christ’s sacrifice on the cross still brings forgiveness), but the Holy Spirit in you helps you to grow more and more like Christ, more and more pure in your behavior. [All of this conversation had taken place with 3 or 4 people in the back seat…at this point they were dropped off].
As we drove back towards the YFC office, Kagiso asked me if I drink or smoke. I said no, but I said it’s not necessarily wrong to drink especially because Jesus drank wine…he just didn’t get drunk. Then I said, "But Christianity is not supposed to be just a list of Do’s and Don’ts, but it is about having a relationship with God that is real. We were created to know and love God. You can actually get to know God and hear Him speak to your heart. I wouldn’t be here in Botswana if God hadn’t spoken to my heart and clearly called me to be here." He looked interested, like that would be something I could share with him in the future when I have more time. Then I shared that God has a plan for his life, but he won’t be able to really find it and do what he was created to do until he has a relationship with God through Christ. I felt led to bring up what he had said in the very beginning, that he is ok with God…like, he doesn’t think bad of God. And I said, "You said earlier that you were ok with God, think He’s ok…but that doesn’t mean your relationship with God is really “ok” by His standards. There will be people who thought they were ok with God who even did lots of good things in His name, and yet Jesus will say, “I never knew you.”
At this point we were pulling into the YFC office, and I wanted to convey that giving one’s life to Christ/accepting Him into your heart/becoming a Christian shouldn’t be to just avoid hell and for selfish gain…I don’t think motivating by fear is effective, but instead people should be motivated by love…Christ’s love for them and their love in response. So in order to dispel any thoughts of a ‘prosperity gospel’ where everything is perfect once you know Christ and you should come to Christ to avoid pain and eternal suffering…I shared that it’s not easy to follow Christ, but that it brings you such joy, peace, and fulfillment. At this, we parked outside the YFC office. Kagiso asked me, “So you don’t party?” I said no. “Do you date??” Again, I replied that I’ve never dated. He looked stunned. Especially when I followed that with this— “But I feel content and fulfilled without those things. I don’t feel a need to party or drink or date to feel content or fulfilled…I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing anything without those things.” Kagiso looked stunned yet intrigued, “Really??” I continued, “Yeah, my relationship with God fulfills me.” “Really??” His eyes looked so shocked yet curious. You could see the wheels turning in his head, wondering how this could be. I told him I’m sure we’ll talk more in the future, and next time, I’ll pay him double for giving me the free fare today. I told him I would be praying for him, and he said, “Yes, Emily…please don’t pay me in money…but would you just pray for me? That would be better than money. Please just pray for me.” And with that, he pulled out of the YFC driveway, and I walked into the office amazed at what had just happened!!!
Let’s recap: I was running a little late but that was when Kagiso happened to drive by me on the little stretch of the side road I walk on before the dirt path…he recognized me and remembered my name…offered me a ride, and when I didn’t have money, he still offered me a ride…and I would’ve politely declined if I hadn’t been running late. Then once I accept his kind offer, he asked right away if I’m a Christian…and I felt led to reflect the question back to him…and then the door flew wide open to naturally share the gospel with this obviously curious young man (as well as indirectly to the people who got in the back). Then because they got in, he decided to drive them into town since they were paying, which afforded Kagiso and I more time to talk before he backtracked to the YFC office, where he left asking for prayer. And so that was 10 minutes or so of my life and yet look at how the Lord orchestrated it so beautifully to be such a significant encounter!! Gives more meaning to the verse about always being ready to give an account for the hope that is in you! (1 Pet. 3:15). So if you want, please join me in praying for Kagiso—that the Lord would continue to speak to his heart, and that the Lord would work it out for the conversation to continue and that He’d give me the words to say.
*This just reminded me of what one of the prayer ministers at Bethany College prayed over me (before she really knew me…she had just started in the prayer ministry after two years training in Canada):
Em, God has called you to a life of divine encounters… a lot of it seems so random, but God is saying there’s nothing random about it. You yourself are a divine encounter…It’s not just having divine encounters, but you are the divine encounter for others’ lives…random encounters are going to start coming, and God is going to give you what to say in those times because what you say God will use to change their lives even if you just meet them for a few minutes. I feel there’s this fire in you to speak to them; you’re just gonna know what to speak to them…and these things will just feel normal and you’ll know what to say.
It also reminded me of when Jesus sent out the 72 in Luke 10 and directed them to find a 'person of peace' who is receptive and can serve as a gateway into other networks of people and influence. "Kagiso" actually means peace! And as another YFC worker said this morning, you can tell from talking to Kagiso and looking in his eyes that he yearns for peace...May it be the peace that passes all understanding that comes only from the Prince of Peace!
For His glory,
Em
I told him that yes, Christians usually go to church, but that isn’t what makes them Christian. It is about a relationship with Christ, not what you do or whether you go to church. He seemed really open and expecting me to continue, so I ended up being able to share the gospel with him in the taxi! I talked about sin (the bad things we do and have done) that have separated us from God because God is holy and perfect. I shared how the penalty/wages/result of our sin is death, separation from God. He said that he knows of plenty of sinners who haven’t died…and I explained that it means spiritual, eternal death/separation from God. He didn’t think we live forever, so I shared my belief that we all live forever, either eternally in the presence of God (heaven) or eternally apart from the presence of God (hell). I shared that God loves us and wants to have a close relationship with us, so He sent His Son Jesus to come to earth, live a perfect life, and die in our place and rose again to conquer death so we wouldn’t have to suffer that eternal death/separation from Him. Because of His death on the cross, those who accept Him into their lives as their personal Lord and Savior, confessing and turning from their sins and from their own way to follow Christ and His way…these have their sins forgiven and washed away.
Kagiso then asked, “How can we live a pure life in this sinful world? There is so much sin…I don’t think it’s possible to live a pure life…” I explained that when you give your life to the Lord, you are forgiven of your sins and they are washed away…and then God the Holy Spirit comes to live inside you and gives you the power to change and live a more pure life in your actions…You will still mess up here and there (a person does not become perfect the minute they become a Christian…when they sin, they confess and Christ’s sacrifice on the cross still brings forgiveness), but the Holy Spirit in you helps you to grow more and more like Christ, more and more pure in your behavior. [All of this conversation had taken place with 3 or 4 people in the back seat…at this point they were dropped off].
As we drove back towards the YFC office, Kagiso asked me if I drink or smoke. I said no, but I said it’s not necessarily wrong to drink especially because Jesus drank wine…he just didn’t get drunk. Then I said, "But Christianity is not supposed to be just a list of Do’s and Don’ts, but it is about having a relationship with God that is real. We were created to know and love God. You can actually get to know God and hear Him speak to your heart. I wouldn’t be here in Botswana if God hadn’t spoken to my heart and clearly called me to be here." He looked interested, like that would be something I could share with him in the future when I have more time. Then I shared that God has a plan for his life, but he won’t be able to really find it and do what he was created to do until he has a relationship with God through Christ. I felt led to bring up what he had said in the very beginning, that he is ok with God…like, he doesn’t think bad of God. And I said, "You said earlier that you were ok with God, think He’s ok…but that doesn’t mean your relationship with God is really “ok” by His standards. There will be people who thought they were ok with God who even did lots of good things in His name, and yet Jesus will say, “I never knew you.”
At this point we were pulling into the YFC office, and I wanted to convey that giving one’s life to Christ/accepting Him into your heart/becoming a Christian shouldn’t be to just avoid hell and for selfish gain…I don’t think motivating by fear is effective, but instead people should be motivated by love…Christ’s love for them and their love in response. So in order to dispel any thoughts of a ‘prosperity gospel’ where everything is perfect once you know Christ and you should come to Christ to avoid pain and eternal suffering…I shared that it’s not easy to follow Christ, but that it brings you such joy, peace, and fulfillment. At this, we parked outside the YFC office. Kagiso asked me, “So you don’t party?” I said no. “Do you date??” Again, I replied that I’ve never dated. He looked stunned. Especially when I followed that with this— “But I feel content and fulfilled without those things. I don’t feel a need to party or drink or date to feel content or fulfilled…I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing anything without those things.” Kagiso looked stunned yet intrigued, “Really??” I continued, “Yeah, my relationship with God fulfills me.” “Really??” His eyes looked so shocked yet curious. You could see the wheels turning in his head, wondering how this could be. I told him I’m sure we’ll talk more in the future, and next time, I’ll pay him double for giving me the free fare today. I told him I would be praying for him, and he said, “Yes, Emily…please don’t pay me in money…but would you just pray for me? That would be better than money. Please just pray for me.” And with that, he pulled out of the YFC driveway, and I walked into the office amazed at what had just happened!!!
Let’s recap: I was running a little late but that was when Kagiso happened to drive by me on the little stretch of the side road I walk on before the dirt path…he recognized me and remembered my name…offered me a ride, and when I didn’t have money, he still offered me a ride…and I would’ve politely declined if I hadn’t been running late. Then once I accept his kind offer, he asked right away if I’m a Christian…and I felt led to reflect the question back to him…and then the door flew wide open to naturally share the gospel with this obviously curious young man (as well as indirectly to the people who got in the back). Then because they got in, he decided to drive them into town since they were paying, which afforded Kagiso and I more time to talk before he backtracked to the YFC office, where he left asking for prayer. And so that was 10 minutes or so of my life and yet look at how the Lord orchestrated it so beautifully to be such a significant encounter!! Gives more meaning to the verse about always being ready to give an account for the hope that is in you! (1 Pet. 3:15). So if you want, please join me in praying for Kagiso—that the Lord would continue to speak to his heart, and that the Lord would work it out for the conversation to continue and that He’d give me the words to say.
*This just reminded me of what one of the prayer ministers at Bethany College prayed over me (before she really knew me…she had just started in the prayer ministry after two years training in Canada):
Em, God has called you to a life of divine encounters… a lot of it seems so random, but God is saying there’s nothing random about it. You yourself are a divine encounter…It’s not just having divine encounters, but you are the divine encounter for others’ lives…random encounters are going to start coming, and God is going to give you what to say in those times because what you say God will use to change their lives even if you just meet them for a few minutes. I feel there’s this fire in you to speak to them; you’re just gonna know what to speak to them…and these things will just feel normal and you’ll know what to say.
It also reminded me of when Jesus sent out the 72 in Luke 10 and directed them to find a 'person of peace' who is receptive and can serve as a gateway into other networks of people and influence. "Kagiso" actually means peace! And as another YFC worker said this morning, you can tell from talking to Kagiso and looking in his eyes that he yearns for peace...May it be the peace that passes all understanding that comes only from the Prince of Peace!
For His glory,
Em
Thursday, February 18, 2010
First couple days
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
4 am – pretty sure every rooster in Mochudi woke up and crowed, all at once. Holy smokes. It was wicked dark still. And I had just finally gone to bed! (it felt like 9 pm to me)
This morning my housemates had set out a platter of breakfast food for me with sweet little notes. Jungle Oats baby…chocolate flavored!! (like Quaker Oats instant oatmeal)! And chunky peanut butter!!!
1:00 pm -- I am melting. It said yesterday it was 32 degrees Celsius when I arrived in Gaborone…and it was a lot cooler than it is now. I don’t know what it is now, but I am sweating just sitting here. There is no AC and the fan doesn’t work. So acclimatize my Michigander/Minnesotan body, acclimatize!!!
[time elapsed]
This afternoon, I rode a taxi into town with Simone (Dutch)…the cabbie talked to us the whole way…very nice guy. Went to the Chemist (pharmacy), exchanged my US dollars (6.50 pula per American dollar), and went to two grocery stores… perhaps one of the more glorious discoveries of the day -- they had a whole end-cap at the grocery store devoted exclusively to Cadbury chocolates (I am home!!—this is my favorite chocolate in the world that I had during my trips to England throughout life)…bought a Bounty coconut chocolate bar too (my other favorite English candy)… came home…went for a run (yes, in this heat…but it was “cooling” down) along the main road out of town. Took a ‘shower’ if you can call it that…It was refreshing and I’m thankful for it (went 9 days without a shower on my last trip to Botswana!).
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Today was more like a normal day. Out the door by 8:05 am to walk with the others 25 minutes down the dirt/sand paths to our YFC office. There I met E.J. and his wife Koekoes, who are the national directors (they had been at a conference in South Africa until last night). Very sweet, down-to-earth people with such strong, inspiring faith. After the daily prayer meeting, E.J. shared with Kyra (who’s only been here a week) and me a lot of the things we need to know about the Botswana culture. Went to a school in the afternoon, bible study in the evening...I’ll share more later.
4 am – pretty sure every rooster in Mochudi woke up and crowed, all at once. Holy smokes. It was wicked dark still. And I had just finally gone to bed! (it felt like 9 pm to me)
This morning my housemates had set out a platter of breakfast food for me with sweet little notes. Jungle Oats baby…chocolate flavored!! (like Quaker Oats instant oatmeal)! And chunky peanut butter!!!
1:00 pm -- I am melting. It said yesterday it was 32 degrees Celsius when I arrived in Gaborone…and it was a lot cooler than it is now. I don’t know what it is now, but I am sweating just sitting here. There is no AC and the fan doesn’t work. So acclimatize my Michigander/Minnesotan body, acclimatize!!!
[time elapsed]
This afternoon, I rode a taxi into town with Simone (Dutch)…the cabbie talked to us the whole way…very nice guy. Went to the Chemist (pharmacy), exchanged my US dollars (6.50 pula per American dollar), and went to two grocery stores… perhaps one of the more glorious discoveries of the day -- they had a whole end-cap at the grocery store devoted exclusively to Cadbury chocolates (I am home!!—this is my favorite chocolate in the world that I had during my trips to England throughout life)…bought a Bounty coconut chocolate bar too (my other favorite English candy)… came home…went for a run (yes, in this heat…but it was “cooling” down) along the main road out of town. Took a ‘shower’ if you can call it that…It was refreshing and I’m thankful for it (went 9 days without a shower on my last trip to Botswana!).
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Today was more like a normal day. Out the door by 8:05 am to walk with the others 25 minutes down the dirt/sand paths to our YFC office. There I met E.J. and his wife Koekoes, who are the national directors (they had been at a conference in South Africa until last night). Very sweet, down-to-earth people with such strong, inspiring faith. After the daily prayer meeting, E.J. shared with Kyra (who’s only been here a week) and me a lot of the things we need to know about the Botswana culture. Went to a school in the afternoon, bible study in the evening...I’ll share more later.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Arriving in Botswana!!
I had a relaxing morning...ate some Jungle Oats (like Quaker Oats) and just talked a bit with Lenie and then was driven back to the airport by Mike.
[time elapsed for the plane ride on South African Airways]
*I am in Botswana!! When the plane touched down, “Home!” resonated in my mind. I was ushered in with a huge thunderstorm that soaked me as we carted my stuff to the car from the airport. It has been raining, sometimes downpouring, all night. My six housemates in Mochudi are very kind and friendly – Corine (early 30s) and Simone (21 years) from Holland; Sara (20), Kyra (19), and Patricia (20) from Germany; and Clive (18) from England. Well, Clive, the only man amongst us, actually has his own personal little house on the same property with a bedroom and a bathroom. So he hangs out in the house with us during the evenings and retreats there to sleep. All but Corine and me are short-termers, meaning less than a year. We spent an interesting time together trying to string up my mosquito net over my bed. I have my own huge room that used to be the dining room. It has two beds in it, so I surmise that when the other American, Katie, arrives in a month she will chill in here with me until one of the Germans leaves in May and we can all have our own rooms again. It is tile/linoleum floors with only the two beds in it at all. So pretty bare as yet.
So what is our house like? I know not everyone understands what Africa is like so I’ll do my best to describe it (and it obviously varies from place to place, even here in Mochudi). Well, it’s not a hut. It is a brick/stone/mortar house with probably 12 foot ceilings. It has a kitchen with the normal amenities (running water, stove, 2 fridges, microwave, toaster, etc). There’s even a washer for clothes in there too (we hang dry them in the sun).
The living room and one bedroom are the only rooms with carpet. Unlike most living rooms in America, it lacks a TV (which is fine by me!). It has two bathrooms with flushing toilets and full tubs (with a detachable thing to “shower,” though nowhere to hook it up high, no shower curtain…so I’m not sure how that will work. I’ll find out in the morning). We have to turn on a heater to heat the water if we don’t want a cold shower. It takes 30 minutes in the summer and up to 1.5 hours in the winter to heat the water to have a warm shower. We can drink the water from the tap here. (Botswana water is safe everywhere…we filled our water bottles from the village spigots in the rural villages on my last trip).
We each take turns cooking the meal for everyone. God help us when it reaches my turn!! Tonight I ate macaroni and cheese with bacon and eggs. Not as weird as feared! Really good in fact, prepared by one of the German girls. Let’s see…we have no internet at the house. We have a huge yard of red dirt enclosed in by a wall about 4-5 feet high with artistic carving of the brick along the top. No A/C or heat so now it’s toasty and in the winter when it gets near freezing at night, twill be chilled indeed. Getting used to the heat here! Quite a difference from the snowy winter I left behind in Michigan/Minnesota!
blessings from Botswana!
~Em
[time elapsed for the plane ride on South African Airways]
*I am in Botswana!! When the plane touched down, “Home!” resonated in my mind. I was ushered in with a huge thunderstorm that soaked me as we carted my stuff to the car from the airport. It has been raining, sometimes downpouring, all night. My six housemates in Mochudi are very kind and friendly – Corine (early 30s) and Simone (21 years) from Holland; Sara (20), Kyra (19), and Patricia (20) from Germany; and Clive (18) from England. Well, Clive, the only man amongst us, actually has his own personal little house on the same property with a bedroom and a bathroom. So he hangs out in the house with us during the evenings and retreats there to sleep. All but Corine and me are short-termers, meaning less than a year. We spent an interesting time together trying to string up my mosquito net over my bed. I have my own huge room that used to be the dining room. It has two beds in it, so I surmise that when the other American, Katie, arrives in a month she will chill in here with me until one of the Germans leaves in May and we can all have our own rooms again. It is tile/linoleum floors with only the two beds in it at all. So pretty bare as yet.
So what is our house like? I know not everyone understands what Africa is like so I’ll do my best to describe it (and it obviously varies from place to place, even here in Mochudi). Well, it’s not a hut. It is a brick/stone/mortar house with probably 12 foot ceilings. It has a kitchen with the normal amenities (running water, stove, 2 fridges, microwave, toaster, etc). There’s even a washer for clothes in there too (we hang dry them in the sun).
The living room and one bedroom are the only rooms with carpet. Unlike most living rooms in America, it lacks a TV (which is fine by me!). It has two bathrooms with flushing toilets and full tubs (with a detachable thing to “shower,” though nowhere to hook it up high, no shower curtain…so I’m not sure how that will work. I’ll find out in the morning). We have to turn on a heater to heat the water if we don’t want a cold shower. It takes 30 minutes in the summer and up to 1.5 hours in the winter to heat the water to have a warm shower. We can drink the water from the tap here. (Botswana water is safe everywhere…we filled our water bottles from the village spigots in the rural villages on my last trip).
We each take turns cooking the meal for everyone. God help us when it reaches my turn!! Tonight I ate macaroni and cheese with bacon and eggs. Not as weird as feared! Really good in fact, prepared by one of the German girls. Let’s see…we have no internet at the house. We have a huge yard of red dirt enclosed in by a wall about 4-5 feet high with artistic carving of the brick along the top. No A/C or heat so now it’s toasty and in the winter when it gets near freezing at night, twill be chilled indeed. Getting used to the heat here! Quite a difference from the snowy winter I left behind in Michigan/Minnesota!
blessings from Botswana!
~Em
Monday, February 15, 2010
South African adventure
Monday morning Feb 15 (still on the plane from Atlanta to Johannesburg) --
I just slept for 8 hours straight on this plane! All those months of sleeping in a chair after my accident are coming in handy at times like this! I have been on this flight for 14 hours and yet never once have I, nor the woman next to me, looked at the electronic map that shows where the plane currently is. She just turned hers on and I glanced to look...where were we? At that exact second, our plane was crossing the border from Namibia into Botswana!! Figures, the very first time I see it after 14 hours was at that exact second!! So we are currently flying over Botswana, about 50 minutes from Johannesburg, South Africa. If I had a parachute, they could just drop me off in Botswana, haha.
Monday evening, Feb 15
I am now typing from Pretoria, near Johannesburg. Mike and Lenie, South African friends who I knew from the Mission Training International (where we’d been training before the accident), picked me up from the airport and brought me here to their home. It’s totally a blessing because they leave in two days to go back to France where they serve with Campus Crusade for Christ. They were home on a break, and we just barely overlapped in time to see each other! If I hadn’t gotten that last ticket to Atlanta, I would have not made the Johannesburg flight until the next day or later, and would’ve missed them (after already cancelling my hotel reservation). Wow…I understand a little better the concept of God going before me and preparing the way.
On the drive back to their house from the airport, Mike and Lenie shared a few meaningful things I had not heard yet. I asked them if they had visited Andrea and Scott in the hospital and they said they had. Right before or after visiting me in the hospital, they had gone to visit Andrea. Until this point (about 11 days after the accident), she had only recognized Scott and their parents. She had not shown any sign of recognizing any of the MTI friends and staff who had come to visit her. The doctors and everyone were very concerned that Andrea’s brain damage was very significant, so that she would not be “the same.” When Mike and Lenie came to visit Andrea, however, she said, “You’re still here?” [our program had ended a week earlier, but Mike and Lenie were staying later for another program]. Mike and Lenie told me that when Andrea said that, they looked over at Scott and tears streamed down his face. It was evident that Andrea remembered them and that our program was over by then…and thus it was evident that Andrea was mentally doing much better than they had feared. In her sweet spirit, Andrea had even added, “We’re praying for you.”
I found out tonight that Mike was also there for that moment with me…when everyone’s fear of the extent of my brain damage was relieved. He was at my bedside, along with several other MTI staff and friends, Youth for Christ staff, and my dad the day after the accident, when I spoke my first words. In a quiet voice, I summoned their attention: “I have something I’d like to say.” Anticipation mounted as they all leaned in close to hear what I had to say. And these were my monumental words: “When you’re sittin’ with your honey, and your nose is a-runny, you might think it’s funny, but it’S NOT!” At that, the room erupted in relieved laughter…I was gonna be ok! (Still kinda crazy, but that is ‘normal’ for me). [And for the record, they also say that at least three times when someone would visit me in the ICU and ask how I was doing, I would answer, “I’m fine…God is good.” So thankfully there was some spiritual insight coming from the depths of my being, not just random jokes about snot!].
I asked Mike and Lenie more about Karin, the 45-year-old South African who had died in our crash, and whether they’d known her before MTI. Yes, in fact, Mike had been the one who mobilized Karin into missions and got her started! She came to work at Campus Crusade in his office for 6 years and then went to France for two years. They would have worked in the same office together in France, and actually Lenie has now picked up a lot of what Karin’s job was supposed to be.
Mike and Lenie took me to a friends’ house tonight for dinner. These friends were also good friends of Karin. They were actually the coordinators of Karin’s missionary support team. Their daughter is a worship leader and works in children’s ministry, and she might come up to visit me in Botswana sometime! All in all, it's been a wonderful day!! Flying over Botswana, seeing old friends and making new ones (who were all Karin's friends) in South Africa! Botswana awaits tomorrow!
to be continued in the next post...
I just slept for 8 hours straight on this plane! All those months of sleeping in a chair after my accident are coming in handy at times like this! I have been on this flight for 14 hours and yet never once have I, nor the woman next to me, looked at the electronic map that shows where the plane currently is. She just turned hers on and I glanced to look...where were we? At that exact second, our plane was crossing the border from Namibia into Botswana!! Figures, the very first time I see it after 14 hours was at that exact second!! So we are currently flying over Botswana, about 50 minutes from Johannesburg, South Africa. If I had a parachute, they could just drop me off in Botswana, haha.
Monday evening, Feb 15
I am now typing from Pretoria, near Johannesburg. Mike and Lenie, South African friends who I knew from the Mission Training International (where we’d been training before the accident), picked me up from the airport and brought me here to their home. It’s totally a blessing because they leave in two days to go back to France where they serve with Campus Crusade for Christ. They were home on a break, and we just barely overlapped in time to see each other! If I hadn’t gotten that last ticket to Atlanta, I would have not made the Johannesburg flight until the next day or later, and would’ve missed them (after already cancelling my hotel reservation). Wow…I understand a little better the concept of God going before me and preparing the way.
On the drive back to their house from the airport, Mike and Lenie shared a few meaningful things I had not heard yet. I asked them if they had visited Andrea and Scott in the hospital and they said they had. Right before or after visiting me in the hospital, they had gone to visit Andrea. Until this point (about 11 days after the accident), she had only recognized Scott and their parents. She had not shown any sign of recognizing any of the MTI friends and staff who had come to visit her. The doctors and everyone were very concerned that Andrea’s brain damage was very significant, so that she would not be “the same.” When Mike and Lenie came to visit Andrea, however, she said, “You’re still here?” [our program had ended a week earlier, but Mike and Lenie were staying later for another program]. Mike and Lenie told me that when Andrea said that, they looked over at Scott and tears streamed down his face. It was evident that Andrea remembered them and that our program was over by then…and thus it was evident that Andrea was mentally doing much better than they had feared. In her sweet spirit, Andrea had even added, “We’re praying for you.”
I found out tonight that Mike was also there for that moment with me…when everyone’s fear of the extent of my brain damage was relieved. He was at my bedside, along with several other MTI staff and friends, Youth for Christ staff, and my dad the day after the accident, when I spoke my first words. In a quiet voice, I summoned their attention: “I have something I’d like to say.” Anticipation mounted as they all leaned in close to hear what I had to say. And these were my monumental words: “When you’re sittin’ with your honey, and your nose is a-runny, you might think it’s funny, but it’S NOT!” At that, the room erupted in relieved laughter…I was gonna be ok! (Still kinda crazy, but that is ‘normal’ for me). [And for the record, they also say that at least three times when someone would visit me in the ICU and ask how I was doing, I would answer, “I’m fine…God is good.” So thankfully there was some spiritual insight coming from the depths of my being, not just random jokes about snot!].
I asked Mike and Lenie more about Karin, the 45-year-old South African who had died in our crash, and whether they’d known her before MTI. Yes, in fact, Mike had been the one who mobilized Karin into missions and got her started! She came to work at Campus Crusade in his office for 6 years and then went to France for two years. They would have worked in the same office together in France, and actually Lenie has now picked up a lot of what Karin’s job was supposed to be.
Mike and Lenie took me to a friends’ house tonight for dinner. These friends were also good friends of Karin. They were actually the coordinators of Karin’s missionary support team. Their daughter is a worship leader and works in children’s ministry, and she might come up to visit me in Botswana sometime! All in all, it's been a wonderful day!! Flying over Botswana, seeing old friends and making new ones (who were all Karin's friends) in South Africa! Botswana awaits tomorrow!
to be continued in the next post...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Flying Away!
Sunday, February 14, 2010 –
Valentine’s Day; Day I left home for Botswana!!!
Well, I am typing this over the Atlantic Ocean on my flight to Johannesburg!! It has been a crazy long day...I didn’t so much sleep last night since I left so early and had to finish up a lot of details. After a tearful goodbye to Mom and Chester (probably forever for little Chester; unless he is super dog, he probably won’t live until I come back), Dad and I left for the airport at 4:30 in the morning...only to find that my flight from Flint to Atlanta had been cancelled! And they wouldn’t be able to get me on a flight from Flint to Atlanta until two days from now! So the Delta agent had a crazy idea that she would book me first class from Detroit to Atlanta in less than an hour and half (and it takes one hour and 10 minutes to drive from Flint to Detroit) and put me in a cab to get there. So I got in the cab as he sped away with me the other family. We arrived at 7:26 am with no hope of making it on that flight.
Then I proceeded to wait for several minutes in an international flight line because a Delta agent told me to, but later I found another Delta staff and told her my situation...she told me I was in the wrong line, and needed to go to rebooking. But she let me be first in line. Then the ticket agent said all the flights to Atlanta were booked all day. Wait...except one seat. But it would not get into Atlanta with much time at all to make the Johannesburg flight. I definitely would not get to see Cindy and Kjel (Jessica’s mom and step-dad) as I had been greatly anticipating. But it was either that or perhaps not leaving for a couple days til there were open seats. Meanwhile I’d called my parents and Cindy and we were all praying, as they checked available flights online and could only find one seat on a flight that had a layover somewhere else, but it was soon filled. The Delta agent went off to find another staff lady, and she returned and somehow found me a seat on a 10:20 am direct flight that would put me in Atlanta at 12:30 pm!! Later, that flight kept getting delayed so lots of people needed to get rebooked on their connections once they’d reach Atlanta...they said over the loudspeaker that there were no other options for going to Atlanta that day...every flight going south was completely full! So it is quite a blessing that I got that direct flight to Atlanta today!!!
When I got on that first flight, I called home real quick after I boarded to let my parents know I finally was leaving. Dad told me that our pastor had mentioned Caleb in his sermon that morning! [see the first entry on Feb 13 for the Caleb story where he said, "Give me this mountain!" and how God has used that to encourage me to face the challenges in Botswana in His strength]. On that flight, my seat was next to a U.S. soldier named Jay in his army fatigues on his way to Iraq (via Atlanta). After I shared about my accident, he told me how he too had recovered against all odds, to the bafflement of doctors. He was born with a lot of problems, so he lived his first year in an incubator in the ICU. He had to have several surgeries for another problem, and his doctor told him he wouldn’t live to see 25, and that he’d be surprised if Jay lived to see 21. Jay just turned 28 last week. He broke his back in gymnastics at age 8 and doctors said he would never walk again. But Jay knew he would. He had to be in a sitting brace for 2 years, but with determination, he learned to walk again. At age 12, he fell and broke his back again. Doctors again said he would never walk again. And again, Jay knew he would. He was in the brace for 1 year this time and defied the odds to walk again, to the utter amazement of doctors. And he doesn’t just walk now…he is a soldier in the army! A restored warrior!! On his sleeve closest to me, I saw a patch that said, “MOUNTAIN” and I asked him what it meant. He said that it is the name of his unit. It didn’t hit me until now how fitting that is in light of the warrior Caleb – “God has kept me alive…Give me this mountain!” (Joshua 14:11-12).
It reminded me of how a couple weeks back at a bible study, I was commissioned and prayed over alongside the pastor’s son leaving tomorrow (Feb 15) for Afghanistan and thought it was fitting how he is a soldier in real life, and God has called me to be a soldier of Christ shining his light, hope, and love...to be a warrior who says ‘Give me this mountain!’ And now on the day I fly to Botswana, by a complete weird set of circumstances (cancelled flight, riding in a cab to another airport, missing that flight, amazingly getting that last seat available on another flight), my seat was next to a soldier who clutched his cross necklace and clung to His Lord for strength and comfort during the turbulent times; a soldier who also attributes his recovery that baffled doctors as an example of God’s purposes and plans succeeding against all odds; a soldier also on his way to his foreign field of service to fulfill the mission given to him; a soldier who is in the MOUNTAIN unit!!
We left in time so that I did get to have dinner with Cindy and Kjel in Atlanta after all! It was so great to see them again and be sent off from the U.S. with their love.
And here I am flying across the ocean, with my worldly belongings now simplified into 2 checked bags and a carry-on.
This song came on my random shuffle as I was typing all this on the plane, and I don’t think it could have a more fitting application than today …leaving my father and my mother, loving Christ and following Him, my Beloved, this Valentine’s Day. It’s called “I Will Waste my Life” by Misty Edwards, meaning “wasting” our lives worshipping, loving, and obeying Christ wherever He may lead. Here are some lyrics:
I leave my father’s house, and I leave my mother. I leave all I have known and, I’ll have no other.
For I am in love with You, there is no cost; I am in love with You, there is no loss; I am in love with You; I want to take Your name; I am in love with You; I want to cling to You, Jesus…
I say goodbye to my father and my mother; I turn my back on every other lover, and I’ll press on, yes I’ll press on. I say goodbye to my father and my mother; I turn my back on every other lover, and I’ll press on, yes I’ll press on. For I am in love with You, there is no cost; I am in love with You, there is no loss; I am in love with You; I want to take Your name; I am in love with You; I want to cling to You, Jesus…
When the “I say goodbye to my father and my mother” part comes in the song, it has an almost militaristic march-style snare drum in the background, so it has always reminded me of soldiers entering West Point and how they have 30 seconds to turn and say goodbye to their families…then they turn and march towards West Point without looking back…symbolic that they are soldiers now given to the missions ahead of them. In a similar way, I had to say goodbye to my father and my mother today to set my face toward the mission ahead of me as a soldier of Christ, a restored warrior, in Botswana.
**[ Later after I arrived in Botswana, I looked back to see what the daily bible reading was, listed in a book I had packed in my checked luggage. Look at what was part of the reading for February 14, the day I left on the plane and typed the above:
“Peter began to say to him, ‘See, we have left everything and followed you.’ Jesus said, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and the sake of the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.’” (Mark 10:28-30).]
continued in the next post...
Valentine’s Day; Day I left home for Botswana!!!
Well, I am typing this over the Atlantic Ocean on my flight to Johannesburg!! It has been a crazy long day...I didn’t so much sleep last night since I left so early and had to finish up a lot of details. After a tearful goodbye to Mom and Chester (probably forever for little Chester; unless he is super dog, he probably won’t live until I come back), Dad and I left for the airport at 4:30 in the morning...only to find that my flight from Flint to Atlanta had been cancelled! And they wouldn’t be able to get me on a flight from Flint to Atlanta until two days from now! So the Delta agent had a crazy idea that she would book me first class from Detroit to Atlanta in less than an hour and half (and it takes one hour and 10 minutes to drive from Flint to Detroit) and put me in a cab to get there. So I got in the cab as he sped away with me the other family. We arrived at 7:26 am with no hope of making it on that flight.
Then I proceeded to wait for several minutes in an international flight line because a Delta agent told me to, but later I found another Delta staff and told her my situation...she told me I was in the wrong line, and needed to go to rebooking. But she let me be first in line. Then the ticket agent said all the flights to Atlanta were booked all day. Wait...except one seat. But it would not get into Atlanta with much time at all to make the Johannesburg flight. I definitely would not get to see Cindy and Kjel (Jessica’s mom and step-dad) as I had been greatly anticipating. But it was either that or perhaps not leaving for a couple days til there were open seats. Meanwhile I’d called my parents and Cindy and we were all praying, as they checked available flights online and could only find one seat on a flight that had a layover somewhere else, but it was soon filled. The Delta agent went off to find another staff lady, and she returned and somehow found me a seat on a 10:20 am direct flight that would put me in Atlanta at 12:30 pm!! Later, that flight kept getting delayed so lots of people needed to get rebooked on their connections once they’d reach Atlanta...they said over the loudspeaker that there were no other options for going to Atlanta that day...every flight going south was completely full! So it is quite a blessing that I got that direct flight to Atlanta today!!!
When I got on that first flight, I called home real quick after I boarded to let my parents know I finally was leaving. Dad told me that our pastor had mentioned Caleb in his sermon that morning! [see the first entry on Feb 13 for the Caleb story where he said, "Give me this mountain!" and how God has used that to encourage me to face the challenges in Botswana in His strength]. On that flight, my seat was next to a U.S. soldier named Jay in his army fatigues on his way to Iraq (via Atlanta). After I shared about my accident, he told me how he too had recovered against all odds, to the bafflement of doctors. He was born with a lot of problems, so he lived his first year in an incubator in the ICU. He had to have several surgeries for another problem, and his doctor told him he wouldn’t live to see 25, and that he’d be surprised if Jay lived to see 21. Jay just turned 28 last week. He broke his back in gymnastics at age 8 and doctors said he would never walk again. But Jay knew he would. He had to be in a sitting brace for 2 years, but with determination, he learned to walk again. At age 12, he fell and broke his back again. Doctors again said he would never walk again. And again, Jay knew he would. He was in the brace for 1 year this time and defied the odds to walk again, to the utter amazement of doctors. And he doesn’t just walk now…he is a soldier in the army! A restored warrior!! On his sleeve closest to me, I saw a patch that said, “MOUNTAIN” and I asked him what it meant. He said that it is the name of his unit. It didn’t hit me until now how fitting that is in light of the warrior Caleb – “God has kept me alive…Give me this mountain!” (Joshua 14:11-12).
It reminded me of how a couple weeks back at a bible study, I was commissioned and prayed over alongside the pastor’s son leaving tomorrow (Feb 15) for Afghanistan and thought it was fitting how he is a soldier in real life, and God has called me to be a soldier of Christ shining his light, hope, and love...to be a warrior who says ‘Give me this mountain!’ And now on the day I fly to Botswana, by a complete weird set of circumstances (cancelled flight, riding in a cab to another airport, missing that flight, amazingly getting that last seat available on another flight), my seat was next to a soldier who clutched his cross necklace and clung to His Lord for strength and comfort during the turbulent times; a soldier who also attributes his recovery that baffled doctors as an example of God’s purposes and plans succeeding against all odds; a soldier also on his way to his foreign field of service to fulfill the mission given to him; a soldier who is in the MOUNTAIN unit!!
We left in time so that I did get to have dinner with Cindy and Kjel in Atlanta after all! It was so great to see them again and be sent off from the U.S. with their love.
And here I am flying across the ocean, with my worldly belongings now simplified into 2 checked bags and a carry-on.
This song came on my random shuffle as I was typing all this on the plane, and I don’t think it could have a more fitting application than today …leaving my father and my mother, loving Christ and following Him, my Beloved, this Valentine’s Day. It’s called “I Will Waste my Life” by Misty Edwards, meaning “wasting” our lives worshipping, loving, and obeying Christ wherever He may lead. Here are some lyrics:
I leave my father’s house, and I leave my mother. I leave all I have known and, I’ll have no other.
For I am in love with You, there is no cost; I am in love with You, there is no loss; I am in love with You; I want to take Your name; I am in love with You; I want to cling to You, Jesus…
I say goodbye to my father and my mother; I turn my back on every other lover, and I’ll press on, yes I’ll press on. I say goodbye to my father and my mother; I turn my back on every other lover, and I’ll press on, yes I’ll press on. For I am in love with You, there is no cost; I am in love with You, there is no loss; I am in love with You; I want to take Your name; I am in love with You; I want to cling to You, Jesus…
When the “I say goodbye to my father and my mother” part comes in the song, it has an almost militaristic march-style snare drum in the background, so it has always reminded me of soldiers entering West Point and how they have 30 seconds to turn and say goodbye to their families…then they turn and march towards West Point without looking back…symbolic that they are soldiers now given to the missions ahead of them. In a similar way, I had to say goodbye to my father and my mother today to set my face toward the mission ahead of me as a soldier of Christ, a restored warrior, in Botswana.
**[ Later after I arrived in Botswana, I looked back to see what the daily bible reading was, listed in a book I had packed in my checked luggage. Look at what was part of the reading for February 14, the day I left on the plane and typed the above:
“Peter began to say to him, ‘See, we have left everything and followed you.’ Jesus said, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and the sake of the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.’” (Mark 10:28-30).]
continued in the next post...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Just Before I left the U.S.
So to recap, I was out in Colorado for my Youth for Christ commissioning service and also to revisit Mission Training International (where we'd all been training before we got into the accident in February 2008), and to stay with the family who had prayed for us on the scene of our accident. After I returned to Michigan from Colorado on January 30, I spoke at a young adult bible study a couple days later [Feb 1] and kept getting things ready to leave for Botswana. It happened that my last Sunday in the States was Super Bowl Sunday. Two years ago, we never made it to church on Super Bowl Sunday (our accident was on the way). This year on Super Bowl Sunday, I was commissioned, prayed over, and sent out from my church to go to Botswana. Beautifully triumphant? I’d say.
I am still planning on writing a book about all of this…and author Philip Yancey continues to be supportive and encouraging. He emailed me just after my commissioning on SuperBowl Sunday…here’s an excerpt: “The commissioning and departure couldn't have been more timely. May you sense God's presence—and smile—as you begin this next chapter of life.” I know it will be hard to find the time to write a book on the mission field, so if you think of it, I’d love prayer for the grace to do that. Kinda funny how I just went on a retreat the Monday and Tuesday before I left Michigan (the day after Super Bowl Sunday) at a chapel/cabin in the woods up where I used to live, and of all the books on the bookshelf in there, and of all the pages, I ended up reading [in a book I had no idea involved missions] about a woman who was on her way to the mission field in Japan and felt overwhelmed and not ready for the tasks ahead, but the Lord reassured her that she was prepared and “Christ-in-her” was able to do more than she had ever expected:
“In the ensuing months things began to be done through me—things I could not possibly have done from my own resources [i.e. starting a school]. My first book was written in a way so guided by the Lord that I still marvel.”
So that was very timely in encouraging me that God has prepared me as well (even that night I was feeling kind of inadequate for the tasks ahead), and it gives me hope in that she wrote her first book while on the mission field…and so I pray mine will be similarly guided.
That whole prayer cabin retreat was a gift from the Lord!…In December, I was just feeling kinda burnt-out and yearning for a vacation, but what about support-raising, packing, etc etc? I wondered if I’d ever be able to relax and have a break before I left for Botswana. Right after thinking that, I got an email from a friend and clicked on his blog link at the bottom. A year or so ago, he had gone on a prayer retreat to a hermitage (little cabin) in the woods to get away with God. That looked SO appealing, but I knew I didn’t have time left to do it in Minnesota. So I started looking online for similar places in Michigan, to no avail. The next day, I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was like, “Oh, well, didn’t you know that Richard and Nancy built a prayer cabin in their woods for people in ministry to get away and be renewed?! Dad just saw Nancy yesterday in the grocery store and she asked how you were doing…I’m sure they would love to have you come!” You don’t understand how absolutely perfect this is! –Richard and Nancy are two of my supporters, and they live just half a mile from where I grew up in the woods and only about a quarter mile from the stretch of beach where God called me to missions and later to Botswana! I used to run/bike down their road all the time. So it is truly like ‘home’ to me. [But I was living 45 minutes away with my parents where they moved in 2008 so it’s hard for me to go there anymore and there’s no ‘home’ base to park or chill at].
I mentioned in my Christmas card to Richard and Nancy I might be interested in coming in January to their prayer cabin if it’s available. I said I would call sometime, but I forgot. Then while I was in Colorado at the end of January, I was reading my daily devotional book and felt for some reason I should go on and read the next day’s entry as well. It said this:
"Plan your retreat days now and then—days when you live apart with Me, and arise rested and refreshed—physically, mentally, and spiritually, to carry on the work I have given to you. I will never give you a load greater than you can bear."
**Literally within 5 minutes of reading that, Richard called me on my cell phone and told me that their prayer cabin in the woods is available if I’d like to have a retreat there with God before I leave for Botswana!!!! So after just reading that devotional, I knew that the Lord was leading me to go to their cabin. That’s where I spent my last Monday and Tuesday in the States (actually less than 24 hours)…and it was truly a blessing. The Lord really did refresh me and assure me of His presence with me…that He has sufficiently prepared me to go; that even when I was running/biking those country roads, hiking those woods, walking along that beach, God knew the plans He had for me and was preparing me, even back then, to step into them now.
A couple days later [Feb11], I went back to my home town Lexington (where the retreat was) for the last time. I was able to park at my old house in the woods because family friends bought it recently! I then was able to go for a run/walk down the dirt road to the lake, a route I frequently ran while growing up and through college. It leads down to the stretch of beach where the Lord first whispered to my heart the call to missions and to Botswana. It was absolutely beautiful with all the untouched snow and ice built up on the shore at sunset time. So I was able to say goodbye to that, my favorite place in the world to just chill with God – you cannot see another house either way you look down the shore...just natural shoreline. I have never once seen another person when I’ve been there spending time with God. So I said goodbye to that place, but I know that it’s not really the place itself, but the Lord, who makes that spot special. And I know that the Lord will be with me in Botswana too, and we will find a place to chill...or toast....together in Botswana!
After that I stopped into the missions meeting at a supporting church in the community and saw some friends and supporters too who had come out to say goodbye. It was a sweet time of fellowship and prayer. As I drove home, I wanted to see the stars one last time in America (where I live with my parents is in a city so the stars are not nearly as stunning as in Lexington). I decided I would go down to the lake to look at them, and ended up parking by the harbor. The light from the street lamps above the parking lot was still bright so I decided to walk out onto the creaky frozen wooden dock out into the harbor (which I’ve never done in winter and barely ever have done in the dark…never to stargaze). After a couple minutes, I turned to go back and saw the arched sign over the entryway to the dock which says Lexington State Harbor on it. I thought, “It’s time to leave the harbor.” As soon as I thought it, it hit me that the Lord was speaking that to my heart… “It’s time to leave the harbor behind and go out into the unknown [in Botswana]. But I will be with you, and it will be worth it; this risky adventure will be worth it.”
Just 20 minutes later, I stopped into Barnes and Noble bookstore even though it was closing in 10 minutes because I just felt like the Lord wanted to show me something (God often speaks to me through books, but I have never stopped in just for that reason). I came across a devotional called Jesus Calling and picked it up to flip to that days date, but in the process saw the entry for February 14, the day I would be leaving on the adventure to Botswana. Here is the entry:
Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you…Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
The next day or the day after, I found a little book called His Thoughts Said…His Father Said by Amy Carmichael, and it reminded me of the harbor thing:
IS THAT NOT WORTHWHILE?
The son said, I think of the pain of life that is perpetual for those who live to serve their fellows. Is it all worthwhile?
His Father said, Those that serve their generation are like the sailors that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in deep waters. But it is these, not those who play in the shallows, who see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. Is not that worthwhile?
That day, Friday Feb 12 (two days before I left for Botswana), my chiropractor in Michigan was describing again how incredibly amazing it is that I survived. He said the odds were like a million to one that I would survive and be walking now. A million to one!?!? My eyes got really big, and I said I didn’t realize it was that amazing that I survived, and he was like, “Oh yeah, if it were a gambling matter, I would’ve put all my bets on you not surviving that. I think there’d be better odds of me getting mauled by a grizzly bear and a polar bear in the same day!” He looked me in the eye and said, “You should have been killed. But there’s something you’re supposed to do...you are still supposed to be here.”
to be continued in the next post...
I am still planning on writing a book about all of this…and author Philip Yancey continues to be supportive and encouraging. He emailed me just after my commissioning on SuperBowl Sunday…here’s an excerpt: “The commissioning and departure couldn't have been more timely. May you sense God's presence—and smile—as you begin this next chapter of life.” I know it will be hard to find the time to write a book on the mission field, so if you think of it, I’d love prayer for the grace to do that. Kinda funny how I just went on a retreat the Monday and Tuesday before I left Michigan (the day after Super Bowl Sunday) at a chapel/cabin in the woods up where I used to live, and of all the books on the bookshelf in there, and of all the pages, I ended up reading [in a book I had no idea involved missions] about a woman who was on her way to the mission field in Japan and felt overwhelmed and not ready for the tasks ahead, but the Lord reassured her that she was prepared and “Christ-in-her” was able to do more than she had ever expected:
“In the ensuing months things began to be done through me—things I could not possibly have done from my own resources [i.e. starting a school]. My first book was written in a way so guided by the Lord that I still marvel.”
So that was very timely in encouraging me that God has prepared me as well (even that night I was feeling kind of inadequate for the tasks ahead), and it gives me hope in that she wrote her first book while on the mission field…and so I pray mine will be similarly guided.
That whole prayer cabin retreat was a gift from the Lord!…In December, I was just feeling kinda burnt-out and yearning for a vacation, but what about support-raising, packing, etc etc? I wondered if I’d ever be able to relax and have a break before I left for Botswana. Right after thinking that, I got an email from a friend and clicked on his blog link at the bottom. A year or so ago, he had gone on a prayer retreat to a hermitage (little cabin) in the woods to get away with God. That looked SO appealing, but I knew I didn’t have time left to do it in Minnesota. So I started looking online for similar places in Michigan, to no avail. The next day, I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was like, “Oh, well, didn’t you know that Richard and Nancy built a prayer cabin in their woods for people in ministry to get away and be renewed?! Dad just saw Nancy yesterday in the grocery store and she asked how you were doing…I’m sure they would love to have you come!” You don’t understand how absolutely perfect this is! –Richard and Nancy are two of my supporters, and they live just half a mile from where I grew up in the woods and only about a quarter mile from the stretch of beach where God called me to missions and later to Botswana! I used to run/bike down their road all the time. So it is truly like ‘home’ to me. [But I was living 45 minutes away with my parents where they moved in 2008 so it’s hard for me to go there anymore and there’s no ‘home’ base to park or chill at].
I mentioned in my Christmas card to Richard and Nancy I might be interested in coming in January to their prayer cabin if it’s available. I said I would call sometime, but I forgot. Then while I was in Colorado at the end of January, I was reading my daily devotional book and felt for some reason I should go on and read the next day’s entry as well. It said this:
"Plan your retreat days now and then—days when you live apart with Me, and arise rested and refreshed—physically, mentally, and spiritually, to carry on the work I have given to you. I will never give you a load greater than you can bear."
**Literally within 5 minutes of reading that, Richard called me on my cell phone and told me that their prayer cabin in the woods is available if I’d like to have a retreat there with God before I leave for Botswana!!!! So after just reading that devotional, I knew that the Lord was leading me to go to their cabin. That’s where I spent my last Monday and Tuesday in the States (actually less than 24 hours)…and it was truly a blessing. The Lord really did refresh me and assure me of His presence with me…that He has sufficiently prepared me to go; that even when I was running/biking those country roads, hiking those woods, walking along that beach, God knew the plans He had for me and was preparing me, even back then, to step into them now.
A couple days later [Feb11], I went back to my home town Lexington (where the retreat was) for the last time. I was able to park at my old house in the woods because family friends bought it recently! I then was able to go for a run/walk down the dirt road to the lake, a route I frequently ran while growing up and through college. It leads down to the stretch of beach where the Lord first whispered to my heart the call to missions and to Botswana. It was absolutely beautiful with all the untouched snow and ice built up on the shore at sunset time. So I was able to say goodbye to that, my favorite place in the world to just chill with God – you cannot see another house either way you look down the shore...just natural shoreline. I have never once seen another person when I’ve been there spending time with God. So I said goodbye to that place, but I know that it’s not really the place itself, but the Lord, who makes that spot special. And I know that the Lord will be with me in Botswana too, and we will find a place to chill...or toast....together in Botswana!
After that I stopped into the missions meeting at a supporting church in the community and saw some friends and supporters too who had come out to say goodbye. It was a sweet time of fellowship and prayer. As I drove home, I wanted to see the stars one last time in America (where I live with my parents is in a city so the stars are not nearly as stunning as in Lexington). I decided I would go down to the lake to look at them, and ended up parking by the harbor. The light from the street lamps above the parking lot was still bright so I decided to walk out onto the creaky frozen wooden dock out into the harbor (which I’ve never done in winter and barely ever have done in the dark…never to stargaze). After a couple minutes, I turned to go back and saw the arched sign over the entryway to the dock which says Lexington State Harbor on it. I thought, “It’s time to leave the harbor.” As soon as I thought it, it hit me that the Lord was speaking that to my heart… “It’s time to leave the harbor behind and go out into the unknown [in Botswana]. But I will be with you, and it will be worth it; this risky adventure will be worth it.”
Just 20 minutes later, I stopped into Barnes and Noble bookstore even though it was closing in 10 minutes because I just felt like the Lord wanted to show me something (God often speaks to me through books, but I have never stopped in just for that reason). I came across a devotional called Jesus Calling and picked it up to flip to that days date, but in the process saw the entry for February 14, the day I would be leaving on the adventure to Botswana. Here is the entry:
Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you…Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!
The next day or the day after, I found a little book called His Thoughts Said…His Father Said by Amy Carmichael, and it reminded me of the harbor thing:
IS THAT NOT WORTHWHILE?
The son said, I think of the pain of life that is perpetual for those who live to serve their fellows. Is it all worthwhile?
His Father said, Those that serve their generation are like the sailors that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in deep waters. But it is these, not those who play in the shallows, who see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. Is not that worthwhile?
That day, Friday Feb 12 (two days before I left for Botswana), my chiropractor in Michigan was describing again how incredibly amazing it is that I survived. He said the odds were like a million to one that I would survive and be walking now. A million to one!?!? My eyes got really big, and I said I didn’t realize it was that amazing that I survived, and he was like, “Oh yeah, if it were a gambling matter, I would’ve put all my bets on you not surviving that. I think there’d be better odds of me getting mauled by a grizzly bear and a polar bear in the same day!” He looked me in the eye and said, “You should have been killed. But there’s something you’re supposed to do...you are still supposed to be here.”
to be continued in the next post...
Read this first!
Dumelang! (hello everyone!)
Well, I am going to start posting all the recent posts from my other blog and some I haven't posted yet that led up to leaving the States [and now in Botswana] as a Youth for Christ [YFC] longterm missionary. So there will be a lot posted all at once now, but after this, it will be like a regular blog updated every so often.
I will be creating pages with tabs/links at the top that can fill you in more on the background of my story. I already created one called "The Road to Botswana" that gives an overview of the last 10 years and how God has led me to Botswana. Check for other tabs/links soon that will share more about how God confirmed His call for me to be here...and also about the overview of the recovery and redemption God has brought from the high-speed rollover accident that I survived in February 2008, through which 3 friends went Home to be with the Lord.
So I'll start now with the recent story of how God has been encouraging me for my ministry in Botswana with the story of Caleb:
Last May, the YFC Botswana director, E.J., told me that I will be engaging in hard, pioneering work in Botswana. So as not be overwhelmed, E.J. said I need to view it as a challenge; to be like Caleb at age 85: Instead of choosing the “move-in ready” plains for his inheritance in the Promised Land, he chose the hill country city of Hebron where he knew he’d have to drive out the Giants who still possessed it (Josh. 14). Even though he was 85 years old, Caleb triumphantly cried, “Give me this mountain!” and drove out the Giants by God’s strength.
Soon after E.J. told me that, I felt led to a book in my room I’d never read and saw where it said, “I am committed to being part of the ‘Caleb generation’ that says, ‘Give me this mountain!’” Over the next several minutes, I came across an uncanny amount of things mentioned in that book that relate to my life and calling, i.e. Acquire the Fire (the youth event at which I was inspired by Columbine’s Rachel Scott to let God lead my life); Columbine and Rachel Scott (incl. her desire to be a missionary and how she’d signed up to go on a mission trip that I know now was to Botswana!); Servants of the Call—a movement of people I joined in Botswana in 2004 who commit to help fulfill the Great Commission; Youth for Christ; missionaries in Botswana; praise and worship increasing globally—“a gentle army of worshiping warriors” rising up; and a prediction that the church will begin to turn back the plague of AIDS in Africa as discipleship impacts the continent! So, the book (The Missions Addiction, David Shibley) that mentions so many things related to my life had Caleb’s “Give me this mountain!” cry too!
Then last week [Jan 14, 2010], as I sat down to browse through a few books at a bookstore, one of the books fell open and my eyes fell on this:
“The next generation of African leaders is going to rise up from these millions of orphans as Dreamers who will slay the great Giants of the continent. But time is running out. In Botswana, just three hours north of where we live, four out of every ten adults are dying of AIDS. Churches, agencies, and willing families in the region cannot keep up with the need. Still, I believe we are going to see one of the greatest miracles in modern history. Why? Just look at the size of our Giants! And dedicated Warriors are rising up and attacking them” (The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson).
I had no idea that book had anything to do with fighting AIDS and helping AIDS orphans, in Botswana no less!! The next page read, “Will you take up the challenge that so many have avoided?” I was amazed to read the exact same story about Caleb at age 85! It even quoted the text, “Give me this mountain!” All this in a section entitled, “Turn the Tide” [of AIDS]. In the next several minutes, I came across that same story of Caleb at age 85 –“Give me this mountain!”—in another book! Then as I was putting those books back on the shelf, I picked up a daily devotional. I opened right to a page entitled, “Caleb: Ready and Hopeful”—about when Caleb was 85 years old and trusted that he could drive out the Giants and take the mountain by God’s strength!!!
That night I remembered that for a class at Bethany, we had to list our Top 50 Dreams and I thought “turning the tide of AIDS” was part of them. Indeed, top two dreams -- given by, and only possibly fulfilled by the Dream Giver [God]-- were the following:
1. Help turn the tide of AIDS in part or all of Botswana
2. Save people’s lives and prevent children from being orphaned by helping kids find Christ and the power to abstain before they find AIDS
And during a break while writing the above stuff about Caleb/ “Give my this mountain!” in my latest Youth for Christ newsletter, I happened to listen online for the first time to a prayer by a Christian leader visiting Bethany, where I studied and mentored, who prayed that God would help us take Hebron (the mountain in the same Caleb passage in Joshua 14!) and drive out the enemies (Giants)! Wow…so I’m thinking God wants me to go forward with courage, rise up and attack the Giants of AIDS, poverty, and hopelessness and help establish the kingdom of God in Botswana! That same day, I found notes I took at a 2001 conference that mentioned Joshua 14 and how God kept Caleb alive and strengthened in the wilderness so He could use him to help fulfill His promise and purpose! Caleb said, “And now, behold, the Lord has kept me alive…I am still as strong today as the day that Moses sent me…So now give me this mountain…!” (Josh. 14:10-12). Like Caleb, God has kept me alive and strengthened me through the wilderness of recovery, and now the day has finally come when He can use me in Botswana for His purposes. I know I cannot fulfill this call in my own strength; but just as Caleb drove out the Giants by God’s strength and presence with him, so too by God’s strength and presence, I can do whatever He’s called me to do. “Give me this mountain!”
The next day [Jan. 24] on my flight to Denver, which interesting enough had a connection in Charlotte, N.C., I sat next to a man from Charlotte who was on his way to a spiritual retreat in Colorado called “The Restored Warrior.” We talked the whole flight and it felt like we truly were meant to be sitting next to each other, especially since we had all had to re-check in at the gate and get new seats right before boarding! Anyway, the concept of being restored was the prevailing theme of that trip to Colorado, back to Mission Training International (MTI) where we’d been training before the accident, and the accident site…that God had been, and was still restoring and strengthening me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to go forth to Botswana. And with the Caleb thing and “dedicated Warriors rising up to attack the Giants in Botswana” from that Dream Giver book, being a “restored warrior” was a fitting description of what the Lord was speaking to me lately.
A couple nights later while at MTI, I stopped by the bookstore and picked up a book called Voices of the Faithful – and randomly read a few entries, coming across this one (out of 450 pages) --
Hope in a hopeless situation
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10).
A team member and I were given a tour of Bauleni compound by the organizer of the caregivers to AIDS patients. …One patient we visited was a young woman in her late stages of the disease; she was lying on a mat. The smell of decay hit me. She did not have the strength to brush off the flies that were covering her body. Around her were her four children, the eldest being 9 years old. Her single complaint was of a sore neck from lying in the same position. I could only give her some pain pills and some cool water. We prayed for her, and she said she did know Jesus as her Lord. A beautiful smile lit her face.
This was one of the most painful but wonderful days in my life. The needs are overwhelming. I know that I can’t help everyone; it is humanly impossible. With the Lord as my guide, I hope to provide much more than physical comfort to these people so close to death. The AIDS pandemic appears hopeless to the world, but it can still be an opportunity of hope through eternal life with Jesus. -Helen, missionary in Central, Eastern, and Southern Africa
Father of all grace and comfort, how unspeakably precious is the priceless treasure of your eternal presence indwelling frail, temporal vessels of clay. Grant a special grace this day to those who suffer incredible pain and poverty around our world and strengthen missionaries who minister to them. Amen.
**How absolutely perfect!! The verse at the top (1 Peter 5:10) could be the theme verse for what God was speaking to me that week…that God Himself is restoring me after I’ve suffered for a little while [through my accident]…and He is making me strong, firm and steadfast to be one of those missionaries who minister to AIDS victims in Africa and offer hope in a hopeless situation.
The next day, I hiked a mountain by myself in Palmer Lake, CO that I had never finished hiking before the accident. That night I picked up the book The Shack, which I bought months earlier at the suggestion of many people but had never read. When I picked it up it was opening to a certain page and I just read what was at the top:
“Today we are on a healing trail to bring closure to this part of your journey—not just for you, but for others as well. Today, we are throwing a big rock into the lake, and the resulting ripples will reach places you would not expect.”
When I read about "the healing trail to bring closure to this part of the journey", I just broke down weeping, thinking that is exactly what God is doing having me here at MTI again hiking these trails and back at the place of my deepest pain…like how God drew the man back to the Shack, the place of his tragic loss. I had thought yesterday or earlier today when I saw The Shack, that MTI is like my shack, the place where the tragedy is most real for me and yet the place God has beckoned me in order to meet me with His healing, restorative love and grace.
The next morning right before I left MTI, I wrote this prayer in my journal:
Lord thank you for leading me back here, where my deepest pain meets, and is overshadowed by Your deeper love, comfort and restorative grace. Father I love You. You are so completely faithful – You will never leave me. You will never leave my side. And You never have. Not Feb 3, 2008. Not ever. And You are taking care of us all – Your grace has been sufficient to help us carry on and not just to carry on but to triumph – to stand upon the mountains with You. Thank you for continuing to heal my heart and to restore me inside and out. And here I sit, nearly two years after my world was turned upside down, about to embark on the journey to Botswana at long last, and You have all but deafened my heart with Your beautiful whispers and triumphant calls to go forth with courage and Your strength into the battle. A restored warrior – that’s the message You’ve been speaking. You’ve restored me to be a warrior – “Give me this mountain!” I go forth from this place into my destiny, knowing You go before me, behind me, with me, and in me. Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
Later that same day, I saw this billboard: “Helping [weakened] warriors get back in the battle”!! This was when I was riding with Robin (the woman who prayed for us at the accident scene) and on that ride I had been sharing about how God has been restoring me, that "restore" was the big theme of this trip to Colorado. I had told her about the guy on the flight to Denver going to the retreat called “The Restored Warrior.”
to be continued in the next post...
Well, I am going to start posting all the recent posts from my other blog and some I haven't posted yet that led up to leaving the States [and now in Botswana] as a Youth for Christ [YFC] longterm missionary. So there will be a lot posted all at once now, but after this, it will be like a regular blog updated every so often.
I will be creating pages with tabs/links at the top that can fill you in more on the background of my story. I already created one called "The Road to Botswana" that gives an overview of the last 10 years and how God has led me to Botswana. Check for other tabs/links soon that will share more about how God confirmed His call for me to be here...and also about the overview of the recovery and redemption God has brought from the high-speed rollover accident that I survived in February 2008, through which 3 friends went Home to be with the Lord.
So I'll start now with the recent story of how God has been encouraging me for my ministry in Botswana with the story of Caleb:
Last May, the YFC Botswana director, E.J., told me that I will be engaging in hard, pioneering work in Botswana. So as not be overwhelmed, E.J. said I need to view it as a challenge; to be like Caleb at age 85: Instead of choosing the “move-in ready” plains for his inheritance in the Promised Land, he chose the hill country city of Hebron where he knew he’d have to drive out the Giants who still possessed it (Josh. 14). Even though he was 85 years old, Caleb triumphantly cried, “Give me this mountain!” and drove out the Giants by God’s strength.
Soon after E.J. told me that, I felt led to a book in my room I’d never read and saw where it said, “I am committed to being part of the ‘Caleb generation’ that says, ‘Give me this mountain!’” Over the next several minutes, I came across an uncanny amount of things mentioned in that book that relate to my life and calling, i.e. Acquire the Fire (the youth event at which I was inspired by Columbine’s Rachel Scott to let God lead my life); Columbine and Rachel Scott (incl. her desire to be a missionary and how she’d signed up to go on a mission trip that I know now was to Botswana!); Servants of the Call—a movement of people I joined in Botswana in 2004 who commit to help fulfill the Great Commission; Youth for Christ; missionaries in Botswana; praise and worship increasing globally—“a gentle army of worshiping warriors” rising up; and a prediction that the church will begin to turn back the plague of AIDS in Africa as discipleship impacts the continent! So, the book (The Missions Addiction, David Shibley) that mentions so many things related to my life had Caleb’s “Give me this mountain!” cry too!
Then last week [Jan 14, 2010], as I sat down to browse through a few books at a bookstore, one of the books fell open and my eyes fell on this:
“The next generation of African leaders is going to rise up from these millions of orphans as Dreamers who will slay the great Giants of the continent. But time is running out. In Botswana, just three hours north of where we live, four out of every ten adults are dying of AIDS. Churches, agencies, and willing families in the region cannot keep up with the need. Still, I believe we are going to see one of the greatest miracles in modern history. Why? Just look at the size of our Giants! And dedicated Warriors are rising up and attacking them” (The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson).
I had no idea that book had anything to do with fighting AIDS and helping AIDS orphans, in Botswana no less!! The next page read, “Will you take up the challenge that so many have avoided?” I was amazed to read the exact same story about Caleb at age 85! It even quoted the text, “Give me this mountain!” All this in a section entitled, “Turn the Tide” [of AIDS]. In the next several minutes, I came across that same story of Caleb at age 85 –“Give me this mountain!”—in another book! Then as I was putting those books back on the shelf, I picked up a daily devotional. I opened right to a page entitled, “Caleb: Ready and Hopeful”—about when Caleb was 85 years old and trusted that he could drive out the Giants and take the mountain by God’s strength!!!
That night I remembered that for a class at Bethany, we had to list our Top 50 Dreams and I thought “turning the tide of AIDS” was part of them. Indeed, top two dreams -- given by, and only possibly fulfilled by the Dream Giver [God]-- were the following:
1. Help turn the tide of AIDS in part or all of Botswana
2. Save people’s lives and prevent children from being orphaned by helping kids find Christ and the power to abstain before they find AIDS
And during a break while writing the above stuff about Caleb/ “Give my this mountain!” in my latest Youth for Christ newsletter, I happened to listen online for the first time to a prayer by a Christian leader visiting Bethany, where I studied and mentored, who prayed that God would help us take Hebron (the mountain in the same Caleb passage in Joshua 14!) and drive out the enemies (Giants)! Wow…so I’m thinking God wants me to go forward with courage, rise up and attack the Giants of AIDS, poverty, and hopelessness and help establish the kingdom of God in Botswana! That same day, I found notes I took at a 2001 conference that mentioned Joshua 14 and how God kept Caleb alive and strengthened in the wilderness so He could use him to help fulfill His promise and purpose! Caleb said, “And now, behold, the Lord has kept me alive…I am still as strong today as the day that Moses sent me…So now give me this mountain…!” (Josh. 14:10-12). Like Caleb, God has kept me alive and strengthened me through the wilderness of recovery, and now the day has finally come when He can use me in Botswana for His purposes. I know I cannot fulfill this call in my own strength; but just as Caleb drove out the Giants by God’s strength and presence with him, so too by God’s strength and presence, I can do whatever He’s called me to do. “Give me this mountain!”
The next day [Jan. 24] on my flight to Denver, which interesting enough had a connection in Charlotte, N.C., I sat next to a man from Charlotte who was on his way to a spiritual retreat in Colorado called “The Restored Warrior.” We talked the whole flight and it felt like we truly were meant to be sitting next to each other, especially since we had all had to re-check in at the gate and get new seats right before boarding! Anyway, the concept of being restored was the prevailing theme of that trip to Colorado, back to Mission Training International (MTI) where we’d been training before the accident, and the accident site…that God had been, and was still restoring and strengthening me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to go forth to Botswana. And with the Caleb thing and “dedicated Warriors rising up to attack the Giants in Botswana” from that Dream Giver book, being a “restored warrior” was a fitting description of what the Lord was speaking to me lately.
A couple nights later while at MTI, I stopped by the bookstore and picked up a book called Voices of the Faithful – and randomly read a few entries, coming across this one (out of 450 pages) --
Hope in a hopeless situation
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10).
A team member and I were given a tour of Bauleni compound by the organizer of the caregivers to AIDS patients. …One patient we visited was a young woman in her late stages of the disease; she was lying on a mat. The smell of decay hit me. She did not have the strength to brush off the flies that were covering her body. Around her were her four children, the eldest being 9 years old. Her single complaint was of a sore neck from lying in the same position. I could only give her some pain pills and some cool water. We prayed for her, and she said she did know Jesus as her Lord. A beautiful smile lit her face.
This was one of the most painful but wonderful days in my life. The needs are overwhelming. I know that I can’t help everyone; it is humanly impossible. With the Lord as my guide, I hope to provide much more than physical comfort to these people so close to death. The AIDS pandemic appears hopeless to the world, but it can still be an opportunity of hope through eternal life with Jesus. -Helen, missionary in Central, Eastern, and Southern Africa
Father of all grace and comfort, how unspeakably precious is the priceless treasure of your eternal presence indwelling frail, temporal vessels of clay. Grant a special grace this day to those who suffer incredible pain and poverty around our world and strengthen missionaries who minister to them. Amen.
**How absolutely perfect!! The verse at the top (1 Peter 5:10) could be the theme verse for what God was speaking to me that week…that God Himself is restoring me after I’ve suffered for a little while [through my accident]…and He is making me strong, firm and steadfast to be one of those missionaries who minister to AIDS victims in Africa and offer hope in a hopeless situation.
The next day, I hiked a mountain by myself in Palmer Lake, CO that I had never finished hiking before the accident. That night I picked up the book The Shack, which I bought months earlier at the suggestion of many people but had never read. When I picked it up it was opening to a certain page and I just read what was at the top:
“Today we are on a healing trail to bring closure to this part of your journey—not just for you, but for others as well. Today, we are throwing a big rock into the lake, and the resulting ripples will reach places you would not expect.”
When I read about "the healing trail to bring closure to this part of the journey", I just broke down weeping, thinking that is exactly what God is doing having me here at MTI again hiking these trails and back at the place of my deepest pain…like how God drew the man back to the Shack, the place of his tragic loss. I had thought yesterday or earlier today when I saw The Shack, that MTI is like my shack, the place where the tragedy is most real for me and yet the place God has beckoned me in order to meet me with His healing, restorative love and grace.
The next morning right before I left MTI, I wrote this prayer in my journal:
Lord thank you for leading me back here, where my deepest pain meets, and is overshadowed by Your deeper love, comfort and restorative grace. Father I love You. You are so completely faithful – You will never leave me. You will never leave my side. And You never have. Not Feb 3, 2008. Not ever. And You are taking care of us all – Your grace has been sufficient to help us carry on and not just to carry on but to triumph – to stand upon the mountains with You. Thank you for continuing to heal my heart and to restore me inside and out. And here I sit, nearly two years after my world was turned upside down, about to embark on the journey to Botswana at long last, and You have all but deafened my heart with Your beautiful whispers and triumphant calls to go forth with courage and Your strength into the battle. A restored warrior – that’s the message You’ve been speaking. You’ve restored me to be a warrior – “Give me this mountain!” I go forth from this place into my destiny, knowing You go before me, behind me, with me, and in me. Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
Later that same day, I saw this billboard: “Helping [weakened] warriors get back in the battle”!! This was when I was riding with Robin (the woman who prayed for us at the accident scene) and on that ride I had been sharing about how God has been restoring me, that "restore" was the big theme of this trip to Colorado. I had told her about the guy on the flight to Denver going to the retreat called “The Restored Warrior.”
to be continued in the next post...
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