Why am I called Ember?

Maybe you're wondering why I'm called Ember now when maybe you knew me as Emily?

Does God still give people new names? We know God changed Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter, etc...but does He still change people's names today? I never really thought about it until I realised that it seems God gave me a new name…Ember. The confirmation for the new name is quite amazing, as you'll read. However, I didn’t think of it as a new name at first. Let’s go back to how it all started…

In February 2009, I was one year into what would be a two-year recovery from a tragic rollover accident that broke the top two vertebrae of my neck. I had been scheduled to move to Botswana in February 2008 as a long-term Youth for Christ missionary to fill the position of a music/drama team leader. The accident had happened just before I was supposed to leave.

The accident occurred the Sunday before my last week of training at Mission Training International. Six of us from the training were driving to church the Sunday before our last week of training, when we were struck by another driver who had lost consciousness. Tragically, three of us (Karin, Jessica, and Isaac) did not survive. Even while in the hospital in Colorado, nurses asked me if I was still going to go to Botswana. I responded by asking, “Am I going to live?” [Yes] “Then I’m going to go to Botswana!” God had really clearly called me since 2002 to move to Botswana.

But Was Something Shifting?
It wasn’t until a year after the accident, in February 2009, that I started questioning if Botswana was really where God still wanted me. I felt something shifting in what I would be doing, but I couldn’t put my finger on it...

The Day Ember First Came Up, God Confirmed My Call to Botswana
On February 14, 2009 I was chaperoning my church youth group kids at a youth event in Minnesota called Acquire the Fire. During the day between sessions at the conference I wrote this in my journal:

This past week (and maybe last week), I’ve also been thinking about how I don’t really have a specific vision for my ministry that God has given. What does God really want me to do there [in Botswana]? Sure “the vision” is the music/drama team, but is that really God’s vision for me? and what are the specifics?—What does that look like, what does He want to do through me in Botswana?

Then even today during worship I was kneeling down and feeling like I want nothing at all to hinder God in my life…feeling like I have to be able to yield and give up anything/everything, even my own idea of what my calling/vision is—that I shouldn’t hold onto that more than God if God were to adjust what He was calling me to do or send me in a different direction.

And that started me thinking that maybe since it’s been so long since I was called to Botswana that maybe I “missed” that calling and He doesn’t want me to go there anymore, or it was for a reason to get me where I am today, but to now re-direct me (perhaps within YFC?). I remember earlier this week or last remembering what people had asked—if I had re-considered my call to Botswana after the accident? I had always said no because of the overload of confirmation…but then not much at all has really happened this year in terms of confirmation to Botswana…so I think I even was thinking, “Is Botswana still where you want me, God?...or was the accident a way to re-direct me?? Maybe I was called there but it’s taken so long that I essentially “missed” it and am supposed to go somewhere else??”

**Right after that time of worship when I was on my knees questioning my very call to Botswana, the main speaker gave a talk about missions (the only missions talk all weekend). Near the end of his message, he had those stand who feel called to missionary service…so I stood. Then he had us yell out our hometown on the count of 3, so I yelled “Lexington!” Then he said,

“You mean to tell me that someone from [Lexington! – he had us all yell our hometown again here] is going to Africa and is going to see God change the face of that continent?” Tons of the crowd of thousands cheered.

Then he spoke these words:

“You mean to tell me that someone from [Lexington!] is going to Botswana and going to see God change that nation through you, change the face of that nation?!”

Immediately, I yelled triumphantly and punched my fist into the air, the only person in that crowd of thousands! As I did so, my youth group kids had turned to me… “That’s you, Em!” And I realized that the doubts and questions I had JUST been wrestling with had just melted away. I am called to Botswana…of course I am called to Botswana. It was as if the Lord used this just to remind and convince myself that, Yes, I am called to Botswana…still called, still going! The speaker ended his talk with this: “God has a plan for your life that is so much bigger than you.”

A Divine Appointment That Same Day
Later that same day at the conference, I ran into a guy named Joe that I met about a year and a half earlier while staying in Minnesota in the fall of 2007. I think I only met him for a couple hours back then, but he’d wanted to hear my testimony so I had shared my calling to Botswana story with him. I had not seen him since because we had been living in different states. Thus, it was a surprise to run into him in a crowd of about 8,000 people. I shared with Joe what had been stirring in my heart about my calling to Botswana, and he said:

“You are going to Botswana. That is for sure. He’s brought you too far to change. I think you had all the Botswana calling confirmation because you would need it. There are very few people who get that much [confirmation] and very few who go through what you did [with the accident]. I don’t doubt you are called to go to Botswana, but I wouldn’t be surprised if what you’re picturing to do in Botswana isn’t what you will really do. It may be part of what you will do, but a small part and God wants to do much more. Your vision and what He’s called you to do may not be the same.”

He shared that the Lord has really been leading him to get a vision of who he is called to be, not what he is called do (i.e. being a trustworthy man of honor, being a man who confesses and repents quickly, a man of humility, a man of vulnerability, etc). He said that the Lord also wants to give me a vision of who I am to be, not just what I am called to do. As he was sharing that, what came to my mind was how I should take my name, Em, and make a vision statement using the words that start with “Em-” …along my journey with God I’d used some in my journals, like Empty self, Embrace Christ, Embody Christ, etc. but never thought to put them together into one place like a vision statement. That night and the next day, many more came to mind than ever before. “Ember” came up for the first time ever, and I believe it was the first one to come to my mind, as it was the first I wrote in the list that night: Ember, Empty, Embrace, Emulate, Embody, Empathize, Emphasize, Emanate, Emancipate, Empower, Embolden as an Emissary!

Called to Be an Ember!
The following Sunday, I was thinking about “ember” before church and then there was an announcement at church for an “Ember Service” coming up!? It read: “Ember Days are times for fasting and penitence, offering ourselves to his service.” That day, I wrote this in my journal: “I am to be an ember, burning for the Lord and setting fire to others; burn like John the Baptist” [who is described in John 5 as a burning and shining lamp].

That night I looked up “ember” on Wikipedia to read that they are hot coals that radiate a constant heat unlike an open flame that is blown by the wind. Spiritually-speaking, that is ideal—to be so “on fire” constantly that no winds of change or adversity can extinguish your passion and love for Christ. Embers remain after and sometimes precede a fire; they can rekindle a fire that was thought to be completely extinguished. During a large [forest] fire, with the right wind conditions, embers can be blown far ahead of the fire front, starting spot fires hundreds of metres away.

That night I wrote this in my journal:

Wow Lord, what a perfect analogy to fit with who You are calling me to be—to burn for You…To radiate and rekindle fires that are thought to be completely extinguished – to bring revival to a place or a people who have lost their fiery passion and which may appear to be completely extinguished… To radiate a more constant form of heat, not blown about and shifted by the winds of change, adversity, persecution, and deception…to have an inner life that is burning constantly...and to be able to be sent far ahead of the fire front to start fires…as a forerunner...burning to precede the fire of revival.

Ember confirmations the Next Weekend
Five days later, I attended the Women’s retreat for Bethany College of Missions, and there, of all possible topics, the speaker decided to give her talk about a graduate of the college named Ember (the only Ember I’ve ever met)!

Then the next day of the retreat, I came inside from the snowy cold and was warming my hands by the fireplace. Here is how I described it later in a prayer in my journal:

Jesus, I want to burn for You—to just radiate Your love and presence. Lord, make me an Ember. How perfectly like You to have Elisabeth speak of Ember at the retreat, and then the next day to have me come inside the cabin …to warm up my hands over the fire in the fireplace and to ask You in the silence, ‘Lord, what do You want to speak to me?’ and then realize I was staring straight at glowing embers and was able to rekindle the fire then and later that night from just one or two flickering embers. Oh Lord, may it be true of me in reality that I am an Ember. Lord, ignite my heart with an unquenchable fire that nothing can affect. Lord, I want to burn passionately hot, consistently radiating Your love to those around me, setting their hearts on fire.

Shifting the Focus to Rekindling the Ministry in Gaborone?
A couple months later I received an email from the YFC Botswana National Director, E.J., telling me that he thought maybe we should shift the focus of my ministry from starting with a dance/drama travel team to first restarting the YFC ministry in the capital city, Gaborone. (He didn't know that I'd also been feeling like something was shifting in what I'd do in Botswana). He told me that at that point, the YFC ministry in Gaborone had completely stopped, but he would like me to restart it. What came back to mind was how embers rekindle a fire that was thought to be extinguished; and “Ember” first came up the same day I’d really been feeling that shifting in what I would do in Botswana.

Gaborone, capital of Botswana:

The very same day that E.J. emailed me suggesting I consider working in Gaborone, I read a short autobiography about a Kenyan man named Sammy Wanyanyi. He lived in a village in Kenya but felt God calling him to minister in his African capital city (Nairobi). He had been resistant at first, preferring the rural villages (exactly how I felt that day!), but he went to the capital city and God blessed his ministry. I wondered if this was God nudging me to go to the capital city too (Gaborone)? Then I read several more connections in the book –i.e. he miraculously survived a rollover accident where 3 people died (as I did!--three people died in my rollover and doctors have said my survival and recovery is miraculous); he went to Bethany College of Missions in Minnesota (as I did!); and the short book mentions “ember”! He also met and received prayer from evangelist Reinhard Bonnke, the significance of which I’ll describe below…


Etchings in a Park Bench...
In early August 2009, I went for a walk in Minnehaha Falls park in St. Paul, Minnesota, and I wondered if I could still see something I’d seen 2+ years earlier. Back in June 2007, I’d felt the Lord drawing me to spend time with Him at that park, and once I was seated on this bench, I felt led to look down at the bench.

That day in 2007, to my surprise, I’d seen, carved into the wood, a heart with just “EM” written inside! I didn't have a digital camera back then, but here is a picture of it that I drew in my journal in 2007:

So in August 2009, when I was back at that park, I wondered if it was still visible 2+ years later. I was speechlessly amazed to see, freshly carved (so the wood was yellow) in all caps: “EMBER”!!! The faint outline of the heart was still visible—so it was the original EM from the heart, but it had been extended into EMBER! I still didn't have a digital camera then, but below is a photo of it from a year later in 2010, and in the second photo you can see the remnant of the original heart:

Wow! I was just speechless, and it still just amazes me!

Moving to Botswana
At long last, I left for Botswana on February 14, 2010—one year exactly from the day “Ember” first came up. A couple weeks later, I opened up my new Setswana-English dictionary randomly, and the second word I saw was legala – my eyes scanned across to see the English meaning: ember!

I’m not sure at what point exactly, but by May 2010 I was starting to think of Ember as a new name God had given me. I can tell this from a poetic prayer I wrote in my journal 17 May 2010, which included this:

Two weeks later, I read the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. I had first picked this book up at a bookstore earlier that year in January, and it had fallen open on my lap right where it talked about Botswana and dedicated warriors rising up to fight against AIDS there like how Caleb had risen up to fight the giants and re-take the mountain city of Hebron in Joshua 14 (the same “Give me this mountain!” passage that E.J. had encouraged me with in the very same email where he suggested I shift my focus to Gaborone!).

I finally read all of The Dream Giver in Botswana in late May 2010, and part of it reminded me of what had happened on February 14, 2009—the day Ember first came up. The book is an allegory, and we are supposed to identify with Ordinary, while the Dream Giver is God. The Dream Giver had given Ordinary a Dream, but at one juncture, He asked Ordinary to give back his Dream. Ordinary was confused and resistant at first, but eventually realized he wanted the Dream Giver more than the Dream, so he gave the Dream back. Then almost immediately, the same day, the Dream Giver gave him his Dream back, and Ordinary could see that it had grown and was part of the Dream Giver’s Big Dream for the whole world. Then after that, others began to call Ordinary by a new name, Warrior.

This is what I wrote in my journal that night (May 31, 2010) after reading The Dream Giver and being reminded of what happened on February 14, 2009 (when, at the conference, I'd knelt down saying I wanted God more than Botswana, and then Botswana came up right away and Ember first came up that day):

**Now what happened in February 2009 is making clearer sense than ever…God wanted me to surrender Botswana to Him, to be sure I wanted Him and His will more than what I thought my Dream was and what I’d worked toward for years…and then when I surrendered it, just minutes later He gave it back to me…and even bigger…and it was that day that He gave me my new name – Ember.

First Times I Referred to Myself as Ember...Just with God
Looking back in my journal, I can see that from early June 2010, I started signing my journaled prayers to God as Ember, though I hadn’t yet told anyone else that Ember was a new name God had given me:

More Confirmation at the Park Bench!
On 2 July, I was back in the U.S. after my father’s unexpected death, and so I was back at the bench in the park in St. Paul (when I took the first pictures of EMBER on the bench). Interestingly, now written twice on the bench was "May 17, 2010." I looked back in my journal to see what happened on that date, and May 17, 2010 was when I had written the poetic prayer I mentioned above about that very bench and how it first had the EM in the heart etched there and later the name God gave me etched there – EMBER! That was the first time I can find in my journals where I wrote that Ember is a new name from God. Before that, I had thought of it like God just wanted me to be like an ember, not necessarily that Ember was a new name.

Ember = Confirmed Faith
Two days later on July 4, 2010, I saw a book of names and their meanings. Ember, though rare, happened to be in there; and the spiritual meaning of Ember was this: Confirmed Faith :). I’d say that is pretty fitting, given how God has a tendency to give a lot of confirmation on things in my life, e.g. EMBER being carved on a park bench that used to say EM!

Embers Causing Raging Fires!
Four days later on July 8, I felt led to look up “Ember” online for first time since February 2009, and there were many current news articles, one just 27 minutes earlier and others the day before and a few days earlier, about how just one ember in all those cases caused huge raging fires!!!!

Ember Dream
About a week later, I was back in Botswana and had a dream in which a female missionary in Botswana was caring for a small group of youth. She said she wasn’t reaching a ton of youth, but she was a mentor/confident to those several, and their lives were being transformed. In the dream, this missionary’s name was Ember. It didn’t necessarily feel like “me” in the dream, but I felt that it was God’s desire that I mentor youth like that, and that such mentoring was part of what it meant to be Ember. The Lord opened up the way for me to start having such deep, mentoring relationships, and I felt led to start a mentoring program.

“What does ember mean?”..."What has God named you?"
In late November, one of my 8 housemates volunteering with Youth for Christ (a German who had no idea about this Ember testimony or that God had given me a new name) asked me, “What does ember mean?” (she read it on the directions for a mosquito repellant coil). That very same night, I saw notes in my journal from a sermon I’d listened to earlier in the year about how God, like an earthly father, gives His children nicknames. “Oh, what a powerful thing to name. I wonder, what has God named you? Have you ever had God call you a name?” In the notes I re-read that day, I’d written: “Given you a name (Ember).”

Ember = A New Name Given By God
That December, I went back to the U.S. to be with my mom and brother for Christmas. On New Year’s Eve, during a time of prayer for healing at a large Christian conference, one of the people praying for my neck/jaw healing started praying, “God, You’ve given her a new name—Ember. She’s a firestarter! She will start a raging wildfire in Botswana.” The young lady who prayed that had been in a high school bible study where I’d shared about Ember over 1.5 years earlier, but I had not mentioned anything about Ember being a new name and I hadn’t seen her since then until the conference…so it was just interesting that she was praying that out of the blue during the time of prayer for healing!? Just hours later after midnight on New Year’s Day, a girl I’d just met who knew nothing about Ember asked me (as if she knew the answer was yes), “Has God ever given you a new name?”

Later that New Year’s Day, I saw my daily bible reading plan for New Year’s Eve/Day, included: “His servants He will call by another name” (Isaiah 65:15b); “And you shall be called by a new name, that the mouth of the Lord will give” (Isaiah 62:2)!!!

"Firestarter"
“Firestarter” had come up the day before as well—At the conference, I had told another girl about the Ember testimony and she had said, “You are like a firestarter – an ember that is blown by the wind of the Holy Spirit – carried by the winds of the Spirit wherever it blows and starting fires wherever you go.” That same day, I’d read a quote about “embers of revival”—that when a city has experienced transformation by the gospel, “grateful Christians take the embers of revival into surrounding communities and nations” (p196, Desperate for His Presence by Rhonda Hughey). Also, about ten days earlier, I had visited a friend in Canada and seen a magazine called Firestarters on her table.

"You shall be called by a new name..." = Bible Reading the Day Ember First Came Up!!
A few weeks later, looking back in my journal, I realized that the bible reading plan for the first day that Ember ever came up (February 14, 2009) included that same verse that was for New Year’s Day (when I was asked if God ever gave me a new name just hours after the girl said God has given me the new name, Ember): “And you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give”—Isaiah 62:2!!!

Other things came up that confirmed that I should start the mentoring program and I thought of mentoring as being like the slow-burning of embers. On the same day that I’d been in Canada and seen the Firestarters magazine, I’d seen a sign that said, “Give the Gift of Friendship: Be a Mentor” and I journaled, “Mentoring is like an ember – slow-burning but long-burning, steady and constant: Discipleship may take longer, but it has farther reaching results.” Later, in January 2011, I came across in a book where it mentioned “the slow burn of spiritual mentoring” which transforms culture. I also felt that the mentors were to be embers “on fire” for Christ, who by their very nature would help kindle the flame of faith and potential in the youth they mentored. Thus, I realised that I am not the only ember, but that God is calling the young people of Botswana to be embers burning for Him. Therefore, I felt led to name the mentoring program Magala Mentoring Program (Magala means embers in Setswana).

Recruiting Volunteers...Discovering a Sister
I got the contact details of some student leaders in the Face the Nation Christian club at the University of Botswana who I thought could possibly become mentors, and the first one I called to share about the mentoring program was a young woman named Lame (pronounced Lah-may).

The next day when I met her to share my vision for the mentoring program, starting with sharing the Ember story, she was amazed. She too, in 2009, had felt God speaking to her of the importance of mentoring and had started up mentoring within the Face the Nation club where older college students mentor first year students! She told me, “You are in the right place at the right time!” Although I was recruiting Christian university students to be mentors of younger teens, I also felt led to mentor Lame. It turns out she had been praying for a mentor, especially one who had a heart for missions! It is evident from that and so much more that God connected us!

Lame was the first person to ever call me Ember. At the first YFC volunteer/mentor training in Gaborone in 2011, she caught me by surprise when she called me Ember, but it felt beautifully right. It was as if something deep inside of me was like, YES! That’s who I am! Our mentoring relationship has become a deep friendship over the years, so that we are more like sisters now.

I'm honoured to have been a bridesmaid in Lame's wedding this past September:

Here are some things she’s written to me over the years:

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”—Albert Schweitzer. You truly help rekindle the fire and passion for Christ deep inside of me. I thank God for you so much.

I LOVE YOU Ember! You always rekindle my fire and zeal for God.

Em, thank you for always being there when I need a true friend. Without a shadow of a doubt you always rekindle my passion and love for Christ… I LOVE YOU!!!

Keep the fire burning! …You are such an Ember.

Sermon in Botswana all about Embers
Back in mid-2011, the sermon I listened to at a church was all about embers (magala) and how, as believers to stay “on fire” for Christ, we need to have a foundation of burning embers to sustain our faith, not just the big flames of revival.

Calling Forth Who I Truly Am
In August 2011, I was at a Youth for Christ staff training in Namibia, and they asked us to write an honest letter to God and then wait for what we felt was His response. As I was writing and reflecting on how the ministry in Gaborone wasn’t being built up or “rekindled” as fast as I had hoped, and I wrote, “I don’t feel like much of an ember lately in terms of rekindling the ministry in Gabs…” and before I could write another word (before it was supposed to be "God’s turn"), I felt the Lord interrupt me and speak clearly to my heart:

“Ember, you are still my Ember. That is your name. That is who you are.”

Tears started streaming down my face right when I heard God call me Ember. Though I knew it was the new name He gave me, it was the first time in prayer that I really heard Him call me Ember; and it was at the very point when I wasn’t feeling like an ember. It was as if He was calling forth who I truly am, how He sees me—just as Jesus called Simon a rock (Peter) before he was actually living a rock-solid life of faith, and Abraham was named “father of a multitude” for years while still childless.

"Radiator" - Radiating His light and love
Immediately after that time of prayer at the training, we reconvened in the conference room and took a minute or so to pray for each person and ask God for any scripture or word of encouragement for that person. A woman from Namibia with quite limited English fluency, came up to me afterward and said she had just been afraid to share in the large group because God gave her a specific word for me but she didn’t even know if it was a real word in English! First she described that she’d pictured me with my arms outstretched and light shining out from me to touch others from many countries. Then she shared the word she did not understand at all: “Radiator”! Wow, I explained that it described the picture she saw, that I would radiate light. It also reminded me of the definition of “ember”— embers radiate heat and light. So how is that for another confirmation, right after I felt God call me "Ember," that He truly sees me as an Ember radiating His light and love?!

Ember = Who I Am
A couple months later in October 2011, I was looking through my files on my laptop and saw this in the list: ember Who I Am

For whatever reason, that was the shorthand version of the song title “Remember Who I Am,” and for me it was a good reminder that Ember is Who I Am! Then soon after that on the same day, I opened a missionary book called Bonding and the Missionary Task (by Tom Brewster) right to where it said this in bold/italics: “taking on a new name.”

For each of us our name is closely associated with our view of who we are—our self image. As we join a new culture our goal is to develop a new self, a bi-cultural self.
…In the Scriptures we have the record of many people whose names were changed to fit their changed circumstances. The Lord changed some: Abram, Sarai, Jacob to Israel, Solomon to Jedidiah…and Simon to Cephas, which translated means Peter...(16).

The Ember Effect
Three days later, Lame wrote a poem and shared it with me, and this part struck me:

Let the fire You stir in me…be stirred and rekindled that it rekindles other fires miles away

That line reminded me of a time of prayer a week earlier where God had brought up the idea of “The Ember Effect,” similar to the idea of a chain reaction or a ripple effect (if one thing is on fire, it kindles something else, which kindles something else…and so the fire spreads). Here is an excerpt from what I felt God was speaking to my heart a week earlier:

I am kindling you. And My Ember, have no doubt I will use you to kindle others for their King & His Kingdom. Fire Threat Level = Catastrophic! :) I am the Consuming Fire. Keep close to Me, allow Me to consume you and constantly kindle the flame of your first love by the wind of My Spirit and the touch of My hand…then those who come in contact with your unquenchable flame will catch the fire of My love and spread it elsewhere. Chain reaction—ripple effect—Ember effect. It all starts with Me—the Consuming Fire. Keep close to Me and keep burning…

So when just a week later I read Lame’s poem about the fire rekindling other fires miles away, it reminded me of that prayer. The “Fire Threat Level = Catastrophic!” was referring to a billboard outside Botswana College of Agriculture that had been pointing to Catastrophic for the first time I could remember right after I’d shared about the Magala Mentoring Program there and recruited mentors from the college! Then a week after writing that prayer on the drive home right after that meeting with Lame and hearing her prayer about rekindling fires, I saw that the Fire Threat Level was again at Catastrophic (only the second time I’d ever seen it at Catastrophic)!

"Ember" Twice at Once!
A few months later in January 2012, I felt I should look at a certain page in a book in my room, and I was surprised to see that it mentioned “embers” while AT THE EXACT SAME TIME a new CD was playing and the artist was singing about embers!! It was the first time I’d listened to the CD of Sarah McCracken, and she sang, “New wonders we will sing, as the Spirit blows the embers of our heart.”

The EMBER bench in June 2012:

A New Name
On June 10, 2012 (exactly ten years to the day from when God first called me to be a missionary), I spoke at my church in Minnesota and shared this Ember testimony and how it’s a new name God has given me. Right after that, I went to a bookstore to purchase a graduation gift for one of the girls in the youth group. The store clerk recommended the book One Girl Can Change the World. I happened to open it where there was a section entitled: A New Name. It mentioned how God calls us our new name before we might be living like that, i.e. Peter.

A few weeks later in early July, I was in another bookstore looking for that One Girl can Change the World to copy down the quotes about A New Name. As I was looking for that book, I saw another book called Named by God! Then I picked up another book and opened to where it said A New Name! The two latter books sounded so similar! –

Here are some quotes from Named by God by Kasey van Norman:

Did you know that God has specially named you?
God chooses an interesting seal to signify his promise of making Abram into the father of many generations. He does it through a name change…This is a defining moment in the relationship between Abraham and the Lord. It is a reaffirmation of God’s promise…What a beautiful gift from God—that whenever someone calls to him from out in the field or whenever Sarah speaks to him across the dinner table, the very name Abraham is a personal reminder of the Lord’s faithfulness and call on his life.
That new name defines who I am and who I want to become (p142)

Last words of book:

“You will be given a new name by the Lord’s own mouth.” –Isa 62:2 (p236)

And here are some quotes from The Journey by Jason Anderson:

A New Name
As part of the covenant God gave Abram a new name. Gen 17:4-5
…The final key in regard to this name change involves changing how you speak and think of yourself. The name Abraham means ‘father of a multitude.’ At the time of the name change, Abraham was not yet the father of many. Repeated through the day… “father of many”…. “father of many…”
You see, they were calling things that were not as though they were. (see Rom 4:17)…Say and think only what God says about you.

That same day I heard the song “Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave for the first time, which includes this lyric: “I’ve got a new name.”

"The Smallest Burning Ember..."
On 1 January 2013, I saw a calendar that one of the former YFC volunteers, Sara, had made and sent to YFC from Germany. The picture each month was paired with a quote/lyric from a musical she had taken part in back in Europe. One of the lyrics read,

“The smallest burning ember can start the greatest fire.”

Sara put the ember quote with a picture of Frederike and me from YFC sharing during our annual 'Month of Youth Against AIDS' programs on Yarona FM national radio.

God Changing People's Names - Came up Two Days in a Row in Three Places!
Two weeks later, I flipped open to this passage in Unrelenting Prayer by Bob Sorge:

“God changed his name from Abram to Abraham. The name change was significant because of the meaning of Abraham’s new name, “Father of a Multitude.” Even though he still didn’t have his miracle baby, Abraham was given a name in keeping with the inheritance God had prepared for him. Abraham was the first person in the Bible whose name God changed, but he wasn’t the last. Every time God changed people’s names, it was to help them rise to the potential of their God-ordained destiny. The new name was in itself a prophetic declaration of purpose and Promise.”

The very next day, my daily bible reading was about Jesus changing Simon’s name to Peter, and Jacob’s name being changed to Israel (Genesis 35). Within 5 minutes of typing the above passage about a new name in Unrelenting Prayer and how “new name” had just came up again twice, including Genesis 35, I felt I should check a Chronological Bible I have on my bookshelf, and the reading for the day before was Genesis 35! It had this intro:

“Just as God had done with Jacob’s grandfather Abraham, God gives Jacob a new name—Israel.”

"Warm Embers of God's Calling"
In April 2013, the Youth for Christ national director of Zimbabwe, Sheunesu, posted something on Facebook that caught my eye. The post was entitled:

Questions to Help Find Your Personal Calling

What caught my eye was the picture of fire that he included in the post. I recognized it as the same picture that I had adapted to say “ember.” It had been in a Powerpoint during the Youth for Christ staff training in Namibia, where God had first called me Ember during prayer. When I’d first seen the flame picture, I had seen how I could perhaps adapt it to say “ember” with the flames. Here is the original:

And here is how I had adapted it, months before I saw Sheunesu’s post:

So when I saw Sheunesu’s post with the original flame picture, it reminded me of the ‘ember’ picture I’d made. Then, even in the post itself, “embers” are mentioned:

As we locate the warm embers of God’s calling inside ourselves, we must faithfully fan those flames. God desires for a sense of mission to burn within us, driving us forward in this journey of life.

Dying Ember Breathed Back to Life…Literally
In June 2013, I read this quote in Revival: Times of Refreshing by Selwyn Hughes:

I believe the definition of Christmas Evans, the famous Welsh preacher, is the most effective I have ever heard [of revival]. It is this: ‘Revival is God bending down to the dying embers of a fire that is just about to go out, and breathing into it, until it bursts again into flame.’

The very next day, that quote was literally lived out, as I was a “dying Ember” who couldn’t breathe whom God revived…I was attacked by a stranger when I went for a run in Botswana, and he strangled me severely to the point that I couldn’t breathe for long enough to believe I was dying (it would take about 7 weeks before my throat felt normal when swallowing). When he let go of my throat for a second, I cried out, “Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jesus!” and within a few seconds, I was able to escape even though he’d had me pinned to the ground. Just the fact that I could escape still seems amazing to me, and I truly believe God “bent down to this dying Ember and breathed into me" and opened the way to escape.

Soon after that incident, I went to Cape Town and hiked Table Mountain before heading to a Christian retreat centre called Beulah in Wellington, South Africa.

The facilitators at the retreat centre asked us to process through a painful/traumatic event, so I obviously chose the recent assault. They told us that when something painful happens to us, we can unknowingly “write a lie” on our hearts that affects us in our lives henceforth. For example, I could’ve written the lie that all men are bad, that all Batswana men can’t be trusted, that I’m worthless, etc. Then the facilitators instructed us to pray and ask God to tell us His truth to replace the lie(s). When I prayed and ask God for His truth, I pictured a shining jewel right where I had been when I was attacked. I wrote down that I felt God was saying He sees me like a jewel, precious and valuable. Then a few minutes later, they handed us pages they’d printed out of our names and their meanings. Since I’d said my name is Ember for the retreat, they gave me the sheet for Ember. I was amazed to see for Ember’s Literal Meaning: “Like a Jewel.” Inherent Meaning: “Precious.” Spiritual connotation: “Cherished.” The second meaning was the one we commonly know, the fiery coals.

Using your God-Given New Name
When another instructor at the conference learned that Ember is not my original name, he asked to hear the story behind it. After I shared the testimony, he asked if people usually call me Ember or just there (where I’d put it on my nametag). I told him that some friends and acquaintances who know the testimony call me Ember, but I usually don’t say it’s my name. Then he said something that I’ve never forgotten,
“If God gave you a new name, when are you going to start to use it?”

That really struck me. It seemed quite clear by that point that indeed “Ember” was a new name that God Himself had given me, so why didn’t I really use it as a new name? It would be like Abram saying, “Well Abraham’s a nice new name, God, but I’ll continue with Abram…” or Jacob not embracing Israel…or Simon choosing to remain as Simon instead of Peter. I felt that it was time to really start using “Ember” as my name. Soon after I returned from that trip, a new group of YFC volunteers from Europe arrived to Botswana, so I asked them to call me Ember. I started introducing myself as Ember to strangers.

Carbuncle Jewel – Like a Flickering Ember
Within a month of that, a passage in Isaiah 54:12 kept coming up, and it mentions a jewel called carbuncle. When I looked it up, I learned that carbuncle is from the Latin carbunculus, meaning “small glowing ember,” because the jewel resembles a flickering, burning ember!!!

Carbuncles are often described as shining like fire, or as lantern-like; a key attribute was its alleged ability to shine in the dark. An old English writing by John Trevisa in 1402 described it this way:

Carbunculus is a precious stone, and shineth as Fire, whose shining is not overcome by night. It shineth in dark places, and it seemed as it were a flame…the worthiest be those that shine and send out beams, as it were fire.

What an awesome picture of how I believe God desires for me to burn brightly for Him even through dark times of adversity...that I'll shine like fire and my shining will not be overcome by night. Also, the carbuncle "shineth in dark places." I pray that I may shine the light of Christ even in dark places, ignorant or resistant to the light of the gospel.

Carbuncle = Youth for Christ Musical Evangelist!
Interestingly, a few months later I came across a book online (God's Most Precious Jewels are Crystallized Tears by Barbara Johnson) where it compares notable Christian women with certain jewels, and the lady that was compared to a carbuncle (Sheila Walsh) was a Youth for Christ musical evangelist!!! Hmm…for those who are unaware, I was a music major and use music in my Youth for Christ evangelism :), making me a Youth for Christ musical evangelist as well, or “musicianary.” What are the odds that the carbuncle jewel is paired with not just a musical evangelist, but a Youth for Christ one?!

The picture above was leading worship on an mission trip in Mangochi, Malawi...and the picture below was when I was sharing the testimony of the accident that broke my neck and then singing a song I wrote called "All My Hope" -- how Jesus is the Rock we can cling to even through hard times. Below that is when I was singing a couple songs I wrote at the Radically Different Concert at the University of Botswana. I also regularly lead worship at school clubs and a weekly prayer and worship meeting called INFERNO, described later.

Name Change Came Up in Four Books in One Day!
The day or two after I first read about carbuncles and their connection to embers and shining like fire, I was house-sitting and felt I should look at the books on the bookshelf.

1.) I first felt led to p116 of Created to Be God's Friend: How God Shapes Those He Loves by Henry T. Blackaby:

“Was it a “name change?”
…this name change is an essential aspect of God’s shaping of the man He calls “His friend.” You are seeing clearly a “pattern” in God’s changing Abram’s name to Abraham and later changing Jacob’s name from Jacob (trickster, deceiver) to Israel (Prince with God). This same pattern is seen when Jesus changed Peter’s name from Simon to Cephas or Peter (meaning “a stone”; John 1:42); and Saul the persecutor of believers – [became Paul] the Apostle of Jesus Christ. With God changing Abram’s name to Abraham, there begins a whole new dimension in his life.”

From the previous page:

"God watched the development of His ‘friend.’ He saw the changes in his heart…Abram was not the same man in character that he was when God first called him. Throughout the Bible, when character changes significantly, God changes the name. In the economy of God, it was time for God to change Abram’s name. He changed it from Abram (“exalted” or “high father”) to Abraham (“father of a multitude” or “father of a multitude of nations”).

The name change was essentially an announcement by God that God was now going to relate to him by his “new character”! God, by this name change, was announcing that He was now proceeding to touch the nations of the world through Him…"

2.) I opened The Character of God’s Workman by Watchman Nee to a section of pages discussing Simon and how God helped him live up to his new name of Peter!

"This man here is indeed called Peter, yet he does not look like a Peter. His name is truly “a stone,” but his personality is like flowing water that constantly shifts its course… We thank the Lord that human character may be changed… Our Lord chooses a man, names him Peter, transforms him to be a stone, then puts the keys of the kingdom of heaven into his hand…" (p128-29)

3.) In still another book, I opened to where it mentioned Simon’s name being changed to Peter:

“The love of the Lord Jesus broke the old Simon for ever after the resurrection, and he became a new man. The command of a new Director enabled and empowered him to be forever, “Peter.” The bruised reed became a building block, and God used this “stone on fire” to help shape a world. Are you an old Simon—or a new Peter?” –p396 Youth Aflame, Winkey Pratney

4.) If three different books talking about God changing someone’s name wasn’t enough, then I opened a fourth book, When God Came Near by Max Lucado to where Jacob was wrestling with God and his name change (Genesis 35)!

Dream Giver For Leaders - Rekindling Others

I also saw the book The Dream Giver for Leaders. [Remember, it was The Dream Giver that had fallen open right to the page about Botswana and fighting AIDS just before I moved to Botswana…and in which Ordinary gives up his Dream to the Dream Giver, who then returned it and he was called Warrior]. Now this was the book for leaders, and it used “ember-like” terms, and even the same concept as “The Ember Effect” –

A Dream Leader’s task is to rekindle the Dream Giver’s light in people’s hearts, and to keep it burning…
Dream Leaders help others rekindle the light in their own lives…
“A Dream Leader is someone who can kindle the flame in others, recognizing their uniqueness so that they may burn with passion for a cause in which they believe” (53).

Leadership is most effective when it has a ripple effect; where the flame of inspiration leaps from one person to the next.

Roberston was quite right in saying,
“It is not so much the vision and wisdom of good leaders that inspire their followers, but the principles they adhere to and the passion they live with themselves. Nothing is able to give life but the flame of impassioned life itself. Nothing can ignite a fire but a blazing flame.” (60)

Embers Gathering at INFERNO Prayer Meeting
Less than two weeks later, I was leading worship at the weekly INFERNO prayer meeting, which had been going on for about a year (and is still burning today!). I felt the name should be INFERNO, signifying that we are embers gathering together to rekindle our love for Christ and connect with God’s burning heart and then be sent out from there to rekindle others.

Confirmation from Malaysia on Embers in Botswana!
That day at INFERNO, one of the regular attendees and YFC volunteer signed up for the Magala Mentoring Programme, James, told us that an elder from the church he attended while he studied in Malaysia had sent him an email in which he’d had a vision of youth in Botswana being embers!! Here are some excerpts:

As we were praying, an image of embers came to my mind, embers are the red hot glowing coals from the firewood we burn. Embers which were fired up by God when He brought different Batswana to different part of the world, through education scholarships, to be saved and to catch the revival fire. God loves and have a plan for Botswana. But after they are back in Botswana many are isolated. And we know that an isolated ember dies fast. God told me to pray, to encourage and to gather the embers which the enemy tries to scatter. God told me to gather. Gather. Gather one by one and He will rekindle the fire in us…Then the fired up embers will then fire up other embers which are gathered and as the fire grows we will be sent out to different part of the country to set the country on fire, bring revival fire across Botswana and beyond…

It's time to gather and rekindle the fire. We are to go out to invite, to gather the embers, to come to pray to seek Him to build the fire. You will know who these people are, your friends, those who are on fire and those whose fire needs to be rekindled by God's fire.

That elder who had the Embers vision, Elder Kuan Cheen, has since moved to Botswana and attends INFERNO regularly. Below is a picture from the months that he offered to host INFERNO at his church, ACTS, after Youth for Christ had to move out of its centre.

ACTS church in Gaborone later held an all-night prayer event called Rekindled Embers!

New Name Passage in Two Consecutive Books!
In January 2014 at Exclusive Books in Gaborone, I opened two different books right after each other and opened right to where they were both about God giving you a new name!!

Stasi Eldredge – Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream of You
Chapter Title – Becoming our True Name
I opened to p217 – Isaiah 62:2 – “And you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give you.”

Whatever you call yourself affects your ability to become who you are meant to be. God knows there is power in what we call ourselves. We need to know who we are and own who we are. Who ARE you? What is your identity, really?
He has a name for you that he wants you to fully become; he holds your true identity and this is what you are meant to grow into. So you’ll want to ask Jesus your true name. (223).
Tell me my true name. Give me an image of who You see me becoming. Isaiah 62:2 (224)
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”—St. Catherine of Siena (226)

**The very next book I picked up!!--
Destiny, by Tony Evans
Opened to p22 – You are Named

You also have a name. It points to your purpose, your destiny. Your name expresses the divine reason for your existence.
A name often determined the expectations for what a person would become. Sometimes a person’s name was changed to better reflect his or her purpose on earth, as when God changed Jacob’s name to Israel. Do you know your name? If not, ask God to show you. Ask Him to reveal the name that defines who you are, because God has named you. (22-23)

When I later read those quotes to Lame, she remarked that it sounded like the same thing twice! And it was literally the first two books I picked up that day.

Embers in Minnesota
About a month later in February 2014, I was back in Minnesota for a short trip and met up with Joe, the guy who had told me in 2009 that God wanted to give me a vision of who He’s called me to be (and I’d pictured making that vision statement of words that started with “Em” and Ember came up first). Joe decided we could eat dinner at a restaurant called… Embers :). That reminded me that in 2001, a friend from Minnesota used to call me Embers because of that restaurant. Hmm…little did she know… :)

“A Fire in Ember”
Three days later, I saw a book review for A Fire in Ember. The book was published on 22 January 2011. I checked my journal—that was the day of the first YFC event ever at the Gaborone centre (remember I had felt God calling me as an Ember to rekindle the YFC ministry in Gaborone), and at the event I shared the Ember testimony for the first time!

Reinhard Bonnke - Connection to Gaborone and Ember
Back to evangelist Reinhard Bonnke, whom I mentioned near the beginning of this post. The first time I heard of him was when I read that book about Sammy Wanyonyi in May 2009 on the same day that E.J. emailed me to suggest that I shift my focus to re-starting the YFC ministry in Gaborone. Sammy providentially met Reinhard Bonnke, who prayed over him and his ministry. Interestingly enough, I was invited to a breakfast in 2014 in Johannesburg to hear Reinhard Bonnke speak and pray over us! I learned that he is like the “Billy Graham of Africa” and has preached to more than 100 million people!

The Womb of His Ministry = Gaborone, Botswana!!!
But get this! –Bonnke says that the womb of his ministry (Christ for All Nations, CfAN) is Gaborone, Botswana!! The Lord led him to preach in Gaborone 40 years ago, and it was the first time he preached in a stadium (and now stadiums are too small—i.e. 1.6 million people attended one open-air meeting!).

At the breakfast I attended in early 2014 (pictured below, you see the back of my head to the left of Bonnke), Reinhard Bonnke started by pointing out Pastor Kgwarapi from Gaborone in the audience and sharing that Gaborone is where it all began 40 years ago (Pastor Kgwarapi, one of the most well-respected pastors in Gaborone who attends prayer walks we organise, gave his life to Christ when Bonnke came to Gaborone 40 years ago)!

How amazingly fitting that I first read about Reinhard Bonnke, whose ministry was birthed in Gaborone (in a book that had so many other connections too, including “ember”), on the very day that E.J. emailed me to suggest I shift my focus to Gaborone! At the breakfast, Bonnke prayed over us to take the baton and carry on the ministry of reaching people for Christ in Africa (he has now relocated to the U.S.). So like Sammy in the book, Reinhard Bonnke prayed over my ministry. I didn't meet him personally, but came about as close as possible without actually meeting him, haha. The people who were sitting across the table from us used to be his neighbors, so Reinhard Bonnke came over to meet them and stood inches from me (you can only barely see the edge of my face in this shot, haha):

Pictured below is when five of us attended a CfAN conference later in Johannesburg. Pictured with me are YFC volunteers, Bobo and Tumi.

Hearing Reinhard Bonnke in the U.S.
In late December 2014, I attended a conference in the U.S., and the main guest speaker was unable to attend. Who did they find as a replacement? Reinhard Bonnke!! A few minutes before he spoke, I felt I should go to the bookshop in the same arena, and in the first book I picked up, I opened right to where it mentions Christians being like glowing embers burning with Christ’s love!!! It shared St. John of the Cross’s description of how, as Christians, we are always burning with God’s love like glowing embers, but there are times when we can be so infused and filled with Christ’s love that the glowing embers become so hot they shoot forth a living flame.

Reinhard Bonnke Mentioning Gaborone Botswana Again!
Right after reading about embers, I went back in to hear Reinhard Bonnke speak, and he mentioned how his ministry, CfAN, began with his trip to Gaborone, Botswana! When he mentioned Botswana, I cheered...and again, I was the only one out of a crowd of thousands (15,000 this time!) to cheer when Botswana was mentioned! He said what happened that night in Gaborone was like heaven had come down to kiss the earth [thousands of people, including Pastor Kgwarapi, gave their lives to Christ that night]!

After Bonnke's message, those who feel called to missions went forward to receive prayer, and a lady I’ve never met was praying for me. In the middle of praying, she asked my name. “Ember.” She laughed as she exclaimed, “Of course it’s Ember!” She told me that as she had been praying, she’d felt like I am a firestarter (spiritually). Wow…so “ember” came up right before Bonnke mentioned Gaborone, and “firestarter” came up again right after he spoke! That was in the same arena where in 2010, the other girl had prayed that God gave me the new name of Ember and that I’m a firestarter!

As I left that arena this time, I felt the Lord ask me, “Remember the last time you were the only one to cheer for Botswana in a crowd of thousands in the U.S.?” When I thought about it, that’s when I realized that the first time had been the same day that “ember” first came up (February 14, 2009) in the vision statement I felt God led me to make! The day I was feeling a shifting…that I’d later learn was to rekindle the ministry in Gaborone. As Gaborone was the womb for Reinhard Bonnke's ministry (CfAN), which has now spread to millions across the globe, I'm excited to see how God might use His embers in Gaborone to ignite something new and spread the fire of His love to the nations.

Here is that Ember vision statement of who I feel God has called me to be:

The EMBER bench in January 2015:

Conclusion
In May this year (2015), a veteran British missionary to Botswana, who had noticed my Facebook name changed to Ember, told me after church one Sunday, “I assume that Ember is a new name that the Lord has given you. I can see that it is fitting with what’s happening among the youth in Gaborone…you burn as an Ember, and others can see that and catch fire too.”

Indeed, I believe I am not the only ember, but that God is raising up many more embers who burn passionately for Him and spread the fire of His love and presence. In July 2015, I was invited to be the speaker at a church conference in Gaborone, and though I hadn't planned on it, I felt led to share the Ember testimony briefly and that we are all embers. I prayed for God to rekindle us and send us out to start revival fires wherever we go. Later that night, Bobo (who had not been at the conference) posted a picture of fire and messaged me to say, “God is saying we need to ignite more embers. More embers need to burn.” While he had been praying that night, God had shared that with him — the same night when I’d been sharing and praying for that exact thing at the conference!

Also, in the midst of typing this up, a man I’d met months ago at the National Prayer Team conference (who had also briefly heard this Ember testimony) felt the Lord clearly confirm to him in prayer that God calls me Ember. I hadn’t heard from him since the conference in May, but he wrote about half a year later that God had just confirmed to him during prayer that He really calls me Ember!

“Known by Her True Name”
Finally, as I was typing this up last night, I heard the song “Ever Be” by Bethel, and a lyric also stands out in it – “And known by her true name…” When I first heard that lyric, it resonated with my desire to be known by my true name—Ember.

So…In conclusion, all of this shows why I believe Ember is the new name God has given me, and why I like to be called Ember :)

Update: Just a few days after posting this, the show on TV at a friend's house happened to discuss and show how the wind can blow hot embers to spread wildfires! :)


P.S. Here you can watch a video in which I was interviewed and shared my testimony for the YFC HIStory Project:

http://www.yfc.net/about/storiesblog/ember-emily-liddiard-on-her-triumph-out-of-tragedy/