Greetings all,
Well it hasn’t been the easiest week, but there have been some great times. I found out Monday night that my dad’s best friend from England, Ken, passed away from cancer. They were best mates growing up together and graduated together. He was one of the groomsmen in my parents’ wedding. We’ve kept in touch and stayed with them for a visit every time we have visited England as a family, and they came and stayed with us in the States for weeks at a time. He was an English policeman, a bobbie, until he recently retired. He gave me his old bobbie helmet when they got a new design, as well as police patches and clip-on tie, badge, etc…when I was a little girl. I included a picture of me wearing one of the police badges and clip-on police ties he gave me. So I was a bobbie for Halloween as a kid. Ken was like an uncle to me.
He didn’t know he had cancer until June 10, which was the day that dad died (in the England timezone)…and when they discovered it, the cancer had already spread to many parts of his body so it was too late to medically stop it. Then, just under 40 days later, he passed away.
We are of course, very thankful and comforted knowing that, as his wife Glenda put it, “Ken found God” a few years back. He had written me a few letters in the last couple years, sharing about how he had come to faith in Jesus Christ and was really growing in his faith. He would also sometimes call me on my cell phone just to talk. We talked at Christmas time.
I received a letter from Ken here in Botswana in early April in which he was so pleased to hear how things were going here. “God be praised!” he’d exclaimed in true British fashion :). He told me they were really getting involved in their church and in mission work. Not only have they been supporting my mission work, but they have been supporting a school in Ghana and helping to provide motorcycles for teachers/pastors. Ken was planning to go on a mission trip there to teach them how to ride the motorcycles. In the letter, he also included pictures of himself, his wife, sons, and grandkids. I am now especially thankful to have those.
Just minutes after Mom had told me the news on the phone, I realized that now dad and Ken were together again in heaven. This came to mind: “the old boys are reunited again…forever!” I pictured how great it must have been for dad to be part of the welcoming party for Ken.
In a few emails I sent out the next day, I used that same terminology – that the old boys were back together again. One of those emails was to mom, and she wrote back asking if I knew that the school where dad and Ken had attended and graduated from called themselves The Old Boys…and when they have reunions they call them The Old Boys Reunions! Nope…I didn’t know that, but pretty cool that I had thought that, eh?
The next day, Tuesday, the reality and emotions of it finally caught up with me, I think compounding with dad’s death, so the tears came and I had a ‘good’ cry here at the office. Thankfully there are many people around me here who are supportive. I’ve been doing a lot better since then, but prayers are still appreciated—especially for his wife and family, and for mom, Ryan, and me (and other family friends who miss him). I’ve learned that grief comes and goes in waves.
Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.”—John 11:25-26. Dad and Ken just had a setting change in their story…from living on earth to living in heaven…and they are LOVING it!
“If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” –Romans 14:8
Alright, so on to the more positive things of the last week. As I mentioned last time, we have a team of 23 short-termer volunteers here from YFC Canada. Last Thursday, I drove 6 of them to a school to help lead the Scripture Union club there. It is not a school where I’ve worked before, but they needed me to drive them so I went and led worship with guitar. Maruping, the YFC staff guy who works there regularly, said they usually have about 15-20 students who come to the club. I think the handful of white people (makgua) was intriguing because we had about 85 students cram into the classroom for our hour-long club, at some points upwards of 100!! It was the biggest turn-out ever at that school! For the teaching portion, we acted out the story of Daniel 3 (the three Hebrew young men who were thrown into the fiery furnace instead of bowing down to an idol, and then they were not burned at all).
This week the schools have vacation, which means we provide holiday programmes for the youth. So in the morning all this week, we invited the Scripture Union club members to come to the office every morning from 10 am – 12:30 pm for singing, teaching, small groups, crafts, and games. The Canadians essentially ran this with our guidance. I still led the worship with guitar, but that was my only official role. We also ran a Kids Club simultaneously for elementary-aged kids, so Canadians led worship with them. It was great to get to spend much more quality time with some of the students at the school where I help lead Scripture Union. Several students started or deepened their personal relationship with Christ this week! It was exciting to be a part of that and to have the opportunity (that the Canadians don’t) to continue on with these youth in the weeks and months ahead and help disciple and encourage them.
Last Saturday, then Monday through Thursday nights, we opened up the Coffee Bar drop-in centre for the youth of Mochudi from 7-10pm. As usual, each night we take about 10 minutes to share something meaningful with the youth. Most of the nights, the Canadian team has shared some dramas. This often served as a springboard for youth to talk to us afterwards and ask questions. I spent the remaining time (1.25 hours) Wednesday night talking with two twin brothers about spiritual things. These are the same two that asked me questions for a few hours a couple months ago. They brought their bibles Thursday night and right away started talking to me again…they didn’t even want to play the games/sports. So we talked for a couple hours again, and they told me to have a Bible passage ready to talk to them tonight when we’ll have Coffee Bar again! So that’s an encouragement, and I’m now praying that God will guide me in which passage to discuss with them and will keep revealing truth to their hearts.
Another exciting thing is that I was able to meet the guidance/counseling staff member at the Senior Secondary School here in Mochudi, where the Face the Nation (AIDS Prevention Programme of my church) volunteers just finished teaching their 5-week abstinence curriculum. I was able to reunite with the three Face the Nation volunteers for whom I was a prayer partner, and we all held hands and prayed with this guidance/counseling teacher to end out their time at the school. The guidance/counseling teacher is the entry point into a school, so it was great to have met her, prayed with her, and exchanged contact info last Friday. I will be in touch with her next week about leading a follow-up club at the school with True Love Waits curriculum that I was briefly trained in just before I left for the States. I’m not sure whether to create a new club, like an abstinence club or True Love Waits club, for the hundreds of students who committed to abstinence before marriage…or if I should just team up with the Scripture Union club and teach the curriculum in that setting…or both. There were well over a hundred students who made commitments to follow Christ as well and it would be great to follow them up.
YFC has not worked with a club in that school in recent memory, so it’s something for which I would appreciate prayer, that God would give wisdom and guidance in how to proceed and have ongoing ministry in that school. It is the only Senior Secondary School in the whole large geographical district called Kgatleng; thus, many of the students are boarders living onsite. There is such a great need to reach and support these students, many of whom have troubling issues going on in their lives.
So I am grateful for all the opportunities that have arisen and the ministry that has gone on in this last week. I have been typing up the tribute of memories of my dad, and will share that soon, as well as more emails and witty writings of his.
Blessings,
Em
P.S. “In the end, everything will be all right. Nothing can harm you permanently; no loss is lasting, no defeat more than transitory, no disappointment is conclusive. Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement, and death will be part of your journey, but the kingdom of God will conquer all these horrors.” –Brennan Manning
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Back in Botswana!
Dumelang!!
I am back in the YFC office in Botswana…with wool socks on, a hood over my head, and slightly numb appendages. It is winter here. Last night, even with the down comforter I brought from the States and two other blankets, my feet were quite cold in their wool socks! Ludicrous! Nothing like going from crazy hot weather in Michigan to freezing temperatures in Botswana. Houses here typically don’t have heat, nor insulation…and our house is typical…so it is in the 30s Fahrenheit in our house at night. Going from summer to winter was also a unique experience on the plane—after I slept for close to 10 hours straight (once again, I attribute this skill to all the experience of chair-sleeping after my accident!), I opened up the window shade to see the light of day only to see the sun…setting! Within minutes, the sun had set. So that was the shortest day in recent memory!
On the first flight from Flint, MI to Atlanta, I happened to sit next to a kind woman who was reading about Sudan in order to teach a missions course at her church. So we talked for awhile and I got to share a lot of my testimony with her, and she said she would pray for me daily and wants to keep updated with my newsletters. On the Atlanta – Johannesburg flight, I happened to talk to the man sitting front of me, and found out he lives in Windsor, Ontario but works in Port Huron, where I was just at home with Mom!
Before that in Atlanta during my layover, I reunited with Cindy & Kjel, the mom and step-dad of Jessica, who passed away in the accident. It was great to see them again. I shared in an entry on here (February 12 this year if you want to read the details) that God has really brought us tightly together as we journey through this. For a quick re-cap, when I first visited in October ’08 the stone memorial our fellow missionary friends built up behind Mission Training International (MTI) in the days after the accident, I placed my own stone on top and took some time to say goodbye to each of the three that passed away. When I was ‘talking’ to Jessica, I thought about how her mom Cindy and I have gotten so close through all this, emailing back and forth sometimes a few times a week. So I said to Jess, “I’m helping to take care of your mom,” and immediately after I said that, I pictured Jesus on the cross looking down at his mother Mary and John the beloved disciple, and Jesus saying, “Woman, behold your son” and “Son, behold your mother.”
I had never once thought of that scripture passage in relation to Cindy, Jess, and me and at first was like, ‘Whoa?!...I can never replace Jess!?!” but what came to mind was that Jesus knew that John wouldn’t replace him, and that Mary wouldn’t replace John’s mother, but that they would care for each other in that additional role like a mother-son relationship. And so it just felt like Jess and God were both pleased with how Cindy and I had been helping each other through this.
It turns out that the very same week, that same passage of scripture with Jesus, Mary, and John came to Cindy’s mind for the first time in connection with our relationship, and she had shared that with her counselor and how she feels I am like a daughter to her! And then the week I was just in Minnesota, I was driving in traffic July 4 and saw the bumper sticker on the car in front of me: “Woman, behold your son” ?!!! Who puts that on their car?!!
Then the next day, I received an email from a Bethany student who added a scripture reference at the end of her email – John 19:25-27. I looked it up to see that it is the same Jesus, Mary, and John passage—“Woman, behold your son…Son, behold your mother”!! This friend did not know the significance of those verses to me and Cindy, so I was puzzled why she would put those verses on her email. I emailed and asked her why she chose those verses, and she replied that she had meant to put Job 19:25-27 but somehow had put John instead! After seeing the “Woman, behold your son” bumper sticker the day before and knowing the significance of those verses to Cindy and me, I somehow don’t think that was an accident in God’s eyes. And the message of Job 19:25-27 is a beautiful counterpart:
“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!”
The next time I visited the stone memorial at MTI was in May 2009 while I was in CO for a YFC retreat. That time, I saw that there were all these tiny blue and purple wild flowers growing up around the memorial stones. Here is what I journaled that day: “I thought it was just a beautiful picture of what God has been speaking a lot lately, that He is at work to bring beauty from the ashes of our tragedy…to bring something beautiful out of something so painful…to bring triumph out of tragedy.”
I felt led to pick a handful of the wildflowers and press them to send to the family members. So I pressed them and later decided to laminate them into bookmarks and have since sent them to Scott and Andrea, Andrea’s parents, Scott’s parents, and Cindy & Kjel, and Jessica’s father John.
After Cindy got the bookmark in the mail, she told me that Jess used to press flowers and laminate bookmarks of them too!! Cindy wrote:
“For Thanksgiving 2000, Jess pressed these beautiful flowers and put them in a bookmark with the verse from Isaiah 66:13 that says, "I will comfort you as a mother comforts her child," and she wrote, "Thank you for making it so easy for me to see God as a mother." I have treasured that bookmark even more since she went to Heaven and use it to mark my place in whatever current devotional book I am using in the mornings, and now I will have your sweet, special bookmark to use to mark my place in my Bible. I had actually been thinking of buying another bookmark to use to mark my Bible spot, so yours will now be that special bookmark. Taking the time to press the flowers, make the bookmark, and send it to me was one of the sweetest things you could have ever done.”
Wow…after that email I realized that the fact that I felt led to pick, press, laminate, and mail off that bookmark to Cindy and Kjel was just another way that God is comforting her heart (and the other families’). I have never once pressed and laminated flowers, or even thought to do that!
The other day in Atlanta, Cindy got teary-eyed recounting how she still treasures that MTI memorial flower bookmark, and how much that and our friendship has meant to her. When they sent me off from the airport, she gave me a long embrace with tears in her eyes. And so yet again, I was sent off from the U.S. by Cindy & Kjel.
This time I was welcomed and embraced on the other side of the Atlantic by the other parents who lost a daughter in the accident – the parents of Karin. They live just a handful of kilometers from the Johannesburg airport, and I had a 23-hour layover. So I had emailed them to let them know I was passing through again (they had wanted to see me last time but it didn’t work out), and they eagerly offered their hospitality. I had never met them before, and so it was a true blessing. I was able to share pictures with them (they had never seen pictures of Jessica or Scott & Andrea), and to share stories with them about my healing recovery and the statement I read in court to the man who hit us. They have been praying for him as well.
When I showed them pictures of the stone memorial behind MTI, they were really touched to see the wildflowers growing up around it. They asked if they could have that picture with the wildflowers, so I saved it to their computer. Karin’s mother said that they still view that stone memorial (and the service that preceded its creation) as the real memorial, since it was the first one. They were so thankful to have received a DVD of the memorial service.
I was excited because, unbeknownst to them, I had saved one last pressed flower bookmark of those wildflowers to hopefully give to them one day. I didn’t tell them at that point that I had pressed, laminated, and sent those flowers out…I would write it to them in a card I brought along for that purpose and give it to them the next day.
So that night, I wrote out the card, explaining how now everyone who lost a child has one of those special flowers…in Cambodia, California, Georgia, and now South Africa. I shared how I knew now that it was definitely the Lord that led me to do it because I’ve seen how much it has meant to everyone, and since Karin’s parents had been so touched by the picture of the wildflowers, I could anticipate how precious a gift the flower bookmark would be for them as well.
I ended up giving them the card and the flower bookmark yesterday as we parted ways at the airport as I got ready to board the plane for Botswana. When I explained that the bookmark was one of the wildflowers from the stone memorial, Karin’s mother got tears in her eyes and hugged and kissed me, whispering “God bless you” in my ear.
So all in all, it was a beautiful journey back to Botswana. It was such a blessing to get to see both these families and to have more of a sense of closure by being able to finally meet Karin’s parents and give them the flower bookmark. I will also let them know that I put a picture on their computer of the exact purple flower in their bookmark by itself back when it was freshly picked at MTI.
Sometime I hope to share the many ways God has been encouraging me as I begin ministry again in Botswana after losing dad. And I am still working on some entries that share more memories of dad. By the way, if anyone has any particular memories of dad that they would like to share, it’s always fun and comforting to hear. So feel free to write in the guestbook or shoot me an email. They might even feature in my memory-tribute I’ve been working on.
Now I’m off to drive a Canadian to a building supply company. There are 23 Canadians from SW Ontario (neighbors to us in Port Huron) who are here serving on a 2-week mission trip with YFC Project Serve. They are staying here at the office…so it’s kind of a zoo…or a beehive with a hum of activity everywhere. This afternoon, I’ll help lead worship with them in a school in Mochudi. Good times.
Blessings from Botswana again!
~Em
I am back in the YFC office in Botswana…with wool socks on, a hood over my head, and slightly numb appendages. It is winter here. Last night, even with the down comforter I brought from the States and two other blankets, my feet were quite cold in their wool socks! Ludicrous! Nothing like going from crazy hot weather in Michigan to freezing temperatures in Botswana. Houses here typically don’t have heat, nor insulation…and our house is typical…so it is in the 30s Fahrenheit in our house at night. Going from summer to winter was also a unique experience on the plane—after I slept for close to 10 hours straight (once again, I attribute this skill to all the experience of chair-sleeping after my accident!), I opened up the window shade to see the light of day only to see the sun…setting! Within minutes, the sun had set. So that was the shortest day in recent memory!
On the first flight from Flint, MI to Atlanta, I happened to sit next to a kind woman who was reading about Sudan in order to teach a missions course at her church. So we talked for awhile and I got to share a lot of my testimony with her, and she said she would pray for me daily and wants to keep updated with my newsletters. On the Atlanta – Johannesburg flight, I happened to talk to the man sitting front of me, and found out he lives in Windsor, Ontario but works in Port Huron, where I was just at home with Mom!
Before that in Atlanta during my layover, I reunited with Cindy & Kjel, the mom and step-dad of Jessica, who passed away in the accident. It was great to see them again. I shared in an entry on here (February 12 this year if you want to read the details) that God has really brought us tightly together as we journey through this. For a quick re-cap, when I first visited in October ’08 the stone memorial our fellow missionary friends built up behind Mission Training International (MTI) in the days after the accident, I placed my own stone on top and took some time to say goodbye to each of the three that passed away. When I was ‘talking’ to Jessica, I thought about how her mom Cindy and I have gotten so close through all this, emailing back and forth sometimes a few times a week. So I said to Jess, “I’m helping to take care of your mom,” and immediately after I said that, I pictured Jesus on the cross looking down at his mother Mary and John the beloved disciple, and Jesus saying, “Woman, behold your son” and “Son, behold your mother.”
I had never once thought of that scripture passage in relation to Cindy, Jess, and me and at first was like, ‘Whoa?!...I can never replace Jess!?!” but what came to mind was that Jesus knew that John wouldn’t replace him, and that Mary wouldn’t replace John’s mother, but that they would care for each other in that additional role like a mother-son relationship. And so it just felt like Jess and God were both pleased with how Cindy and I had been helping each other through this.
It turns out that the very same week, that same passage of scripture with Jesus, Mary, and John came to Cindy’s mind for the first time in connection with our relationship, and she had shared that with her counselor and how she feels I am like a daughter to her! And then the week I was just in Minnesota, I was driving in traffic July 4 and saw the bumper sticker on the car in front of me: “Woman, behold your son” ?!!! Who puts that on their car?!!
Then the next day, I received an email from a Bethany student who added a scripture reference at the end of her email – John 19:25-27. I looked it up to see that it is the same Jesus, Mary, and John passage—“Woman, behold your son…Son, behold your mother”!! This friend did not know the significance of those verses to me and Cindy, so I was puzzled why she would put those verses on her email. I emailed and asked her why she chose those verses, and she replied that she had meant to put Job 19:25-27 but somehow had put John instead! After seeing the “Woman, behold your son” bumper sticker the day before and knowing the significance of those verses to Cindy and me, I somehow don’t think that was an accident in God’s eyes. And the message of Job 19:25-27 is a beautiful counterpart:
“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!”
The next time I visited the stone memorial at MTI was in May 2009 while I was in CO for a YFC retreat. That time, I saw that there were all these tiny blue and purple wild flowers growing up around the memorial stones. Here is what I journaled that day: “I thought it was just a beautiful picture of what God has been speaking a lot lately, that He is at work to bring beauty from the ashes of our tragedy…to bring something beautiful out of something so painful…to bring triumph out of tragedy.”
I felt led to pick a handful of the wildflowers and press them to send to the family members. So I pressed them and later decided to laminate them into bookmarks and have since sent them to Scott and Andrea, Andrea’s parents, Scott’s parents, and Cindy & Kjel, and Jessica’s father John.
After Cindy got the bookmark in the mail, she told me that Jess used to press flowers and laminate bookmarks of them too!! Cindy wrote:
“For Thanksgiving 2000, Jess pressed these beautiful flowers and put them in a bookmark with the verse from Isaiah 66:13 that says, "I will comfort you as a mother comforts her child," and she wrote, "Thank you for making it so easy for me to see God as a mother." I have treasured that bookmark even more since she went to Heaven and use it to mark my place in whatever current devotional book I am using in the mornings, and now I will have your sweet, special bookmark to use to mark my place in my Bible. I had actually been thinking of buying another bookmark to use to mark my Bible spot, so yours will now be that special bookmark. Taking the time to press the flowers, make the bookmark, and send it to me was one of the sweetest things you could have ever done.”
Wow…after that email I realized that the fact that I felt led to pick, press, laminate, and mail off that bookmark to Cindy and Kjel was just another way that God is comforting her heart (and the other families’). I have never once pressed and laminated flowers, or even thought to do that!
The other day in Atlanta, Cindy got teary-eyed recounting how she still treasures that MTI memorial flower bookmark, and how much that and our friendship has meant to her. When they sent me off from the airport, she gave me a long embrace with tears in her eyes. And so yet again, I was sent off from the U.S. by Cindy & Kjel.
This time I was welcomed and embraced on the other side of the Atlantic by the other parents who lost a daughter in the accident – the parents of Karin. They live just a handful of kilometers from the Johannesburg airport, and I had a 23-hour layover. So I had emailed them to let them know I was passing through again (they had wanted to see me last time but it didn’t work out), and they eagerly offered their hospitality. I had never met them before, and so it was a true blessing. I was able to share pictures with them (they had never seen pictures of Jessica or Scott & Andrea), and to share stories with them about my healing recovery and the statement I read in court to the man who hit us. They have been praying for him as well.
When I showed them pictures of the stone memorial behind MTI, they were really touched to see the wildflowers growing up around it. They asked if they could have that picture with the wildflowers, so I saved it to their computer. Karin’s mother said that they still view that stone memorial (and the service that preceded its creation) as the real memorial, since it was the first one. They were so thankful to have received a DVD of the memorial service.
I was excited because, unbeknownst to them, I had saved one last pressed flower bookmark of those wildflowers to hopefully give to them one day. I didn’t tell them at that point that I had pressed, laminated, and sent those flowers out…I would write it to them in a card I brought along for that purpose and give it to them the next day.
So that night, I wrote out the card, explaining how now everyone who lost a child has one of those special flowers…in Cambodia, California, Georgia, and now South Africa. I shared how I knew now that it was definitely the Lord that led me to do it because I’ve seen how much it has meant to everyone, and since Karin’s parents had been so touched by the picture of the wildflowers, I could anticipate how precious a gift the flower bookmark would be for them as well.
I ended up giving them the card and the flower bookmark yesterday as we parted ways at the airport as I got ready to board the plane for Botswana. When I explained that the bookmark was one of the wildflowers from the stone memorial, Karin’s mother got tears in her eyes and hugged and kissed me, whispering “God bless you” in my ear.
So all in all, it was a beautiful journey back to Botswana. It was such a blessing to get to see both these families and to have more of a sense of closure by being able to finally meet Karin’s parents and give them the flower bookmark. I will also let them know that I put a picture on their computer of the exact purple flower in their bookmark by itself back when it was freshly picked at MTI.
Sometime I hope to share the many ways God has been encouraging me as I begin ministry again in Botswana after losing dad. And I am still working on some entries that share more memories of dad. By the way, if anyone has any particular memories of dad that they would like to share, it’s always fun and comforting to hear. So feel free to write in the guestbook or shoot me an email. They might even feature in my memory-tribute I’ve been working on.
Now I’m off to drive a Canadian to a building supply company. There are 23 Canadians from SW Ontario (neighbors to us in Port Huron) who are here serving on a 2-week mission trip with YFC Project Serve. They are staying here at the office…so it’s kind of a zoo…or a beehive with a hum of activity everywhere. This afternoon, I’ll help lead worship with them in a school in Mochudi. Good times.
Blessings from Botswana again!
~Em
Thursday, July 8, 2010
"The New Normal"; Indomitable spirit!
Hi everyone!
I returned to Michigan last night from my weeklong trip to Minnesota. I went out there to get my jaw checked out at my jaw specialist and to visit my bro and lots of friends. It was a great trip. Though I couldn’t see everyone I would have liked because of lack of time, I was excited to get to see so many special people in my life [I lived the majority of the last 9 years there]. The jaw specialist said my jaw is not dislocated or mis-aligned, which is good news (a year ago it was dislocated on both sides). The jaw appliance I’ve been wearing at least at night was off-balance though, so they adjusted that. I’ve just been suffering from a ‘flare-up’ in my muscles perhaps related in part to the appliance being off-balance (which really means my neck/jaw shifted). I need to wear it full-time again for a month at least and be really disciplined in heating/icing and doing exercises to loosen my jaw muscles. I had therapy done on those muscles yesterday, and it didn’t hurt as much as it had in the fall (e.g. I wasn’t tempted to bite the therapist’s hand as she massaged my jaw!), so that’s a good sign.
Thanks for the prayers for my jaw and neck (the neck’s alignment directly affects the jaw). And though it’s good to know there’s nothing hugely wrong and the pain has been lessening, please keep the prayers coming if you feel so inclined as there is still some pain when I eat. I will head back to Botswana on Monday.
Back to the main reason for my trip to the States…I realized that I never shared about dad’s funeral/celebration service itself. It was a blessing to see so many family and friends from England, Chicago, Texas, Minnesota, other parts of Michigan. Fr. Darryl Pigeon and his wife Cynthia (who led our church and youth group in Lexington for 11 years) flew up from Texas. He helped officiate the service and gave one of the eulogies, sharing how dad had been his right-hand man during his years at our church, like how Epaphroditus was such a support (brother, fellow worker) for the apostle Paul. Pastor Mitch Olson from our current church also gave a nice eulogy, the most memorable part being when he joked that dad had been saying, “We just don’t get it!” regarding eternity…and five minutes later, he got it!
Before the service started, we showed a beautiful video montage of pictures of dad’s life. Ryan’s friend Ethan is a videographer, and he put it together the night before the service after we’d been busy finding and scanning pictures.
Another special part of the service was when a group of about 15-20 of us got up to sing, “It is Well with My Soul” in 4-part harmony. Mom, Dad’s sister Roni, Ryan, and I all sang as well. This impromptu choir was the idea of one of our friends who gathered together choir friends we’ve sung with from different churches to reunite to sing it. We had no rehearsal at all…but from what I could tell and what others said, it was beautiful. During communion, I played one of my own compositions on the piano. It was the first song I composed, back when I was 17, so dad heard it many times.
After a nice luncheon in which I caught up with some of my childhood friends, we drove up to Lexington Municipal Cemetery, where dad was buried. Mom, Ryan, and I had chosen a spot in the newest section the cemetery recently acquired, so his body is the first in the furthest west section under some beautiful old trees. So looking at his grave into the setting sun, you see the large tree trunks and then a field of wild grasses behind it. Dad loved and appreciated the beauty of nature, so it’s a perfect spot. At the burial, Pastor Mitch brought along his shofar (ram's horn trumpet) from Israel and blew it to honor dad. He's only blown it on a few very special occasions.
And on a more humorous note, when I was growing up, dad, when walking the dog by the cemetery or after the Memorial Day parades that ended with a service there, would point out the irony that next to the cemetery is a yellow road sign that reads “Dead End”! He always got a kick out of that, so we had a laugh knowing he is surely amused to be buried at the “Dead End” in Lexington.
A couple days after the funeral, I went into Meijer, one of dad’s favorite places to shop. As I walked in the door, I saw a big poster ad for Cedar Point, an amusement park with tons of roller coasters. I got excited thinking of the fun I’ve had there in the past and anticipating going there again someday, and then I remembered that I can’t go on roller coasters anymore because of my neck. Then I thought about how dad is gone…and I thought as I walked down the aisle that I could really get down if I focused on all the negative things—what I can’t do anymore, how dad is gone, etc.
Then just a minute or two later, I saw and picked up Daily Devotions Inspired by 90 Minutes in Heaven [a book]. Both dad and I had read that book last fall – it’s about a man, Don Piper, who miraculously survived a horrific car accident. I happened to open right to the entry entitled: The New Normal. Here are some excerpts:
“All of us have those times when [life changes drastically]. We can never go back to the old way—the “normal” behavior or circumstances. What had been normal becomes simply the way life used to be. Because we can’t go backward, the best we can do is to learn to accept our life as it is now, move forward, and discover a new kind of normal…All of us have those times when we look at what was and compare it with what is. Some of us have had to face that a number of times; others have a single experience that is as powerful a line of demarcation as the line between B.C. and A.D.
Because the old way—the old normal—is gone, we have to find a new one… My physical condition had made me a different person…Many physical activities I had taken for granted were no longer possible….We can never return to the way life was, even though we may cry out for it. Part of our happiness depends on accepting the new reality that we are now living. This is how I function now. I can make it the best phase of my life or I can refuse to accept to accept the changes. It’s up to me. But this much I can tell anyone: If we accept the new normal, life will be happier and easier.
Dear God, I may not like the things that have changed; I wish my life had not altered. But it has. Remind me that because you love me and are in control of my life, this phase of my life can be as good as or even better than the way life was before. Amen.”
Wow…so if that didn’t address EXACTLY what I had just been thinking, I don’t know what does! I didn’t buy the book at the time, but a few days later I decided I wanted to after all. And when I picked it up a few days later to buy it, I opened to this page about church members whose pastor had just died:
“They wanted explanations and I had to tell them, ‘Sometimes there are no explanations. Sometimes we have to trust God’s wisdom and timing, despite all the sorrow we face.’…I can’t explain why some people die in horrible accidents and others don’t. I don’t know why some good people die young and some wicked people live to be ninety. If we focus only on such events, we lose our perspective.
The proper perspective is that God loves us and is with us, even during the worst of times. There is an old story about the discouraged father who cried out to a pastor, ‘Where was God when my son died?’ The minister said, ‘The same place he was when his own son died.’
God is with us—all the time. We can focus on tragedy and ask, ‘Where was God?’ Or we can say, ‘God, this tragedy hurts. I’m in pain. Help me.’
When I spoke to the congregation in Arizona, I [asked]: ‘Do you think your pastor is sitting at the gate of heaven right now crying because he’s not here with you?’
‘No, I think he’s rejoicing in the presence of the Lord,’ someone said.
‘Absolutely right. So you don’t need to weep for him. Weep for your loss, cry because you miss him, but don’t weep for him.’”
That reminds me of how the day after the funeral, I heard the song “I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin for the first time I really remember (listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bms0ZiM_KG0&feature=fvst), and when it reached the soaring, ethereal bridge—“And I hear the voice of many angels sing, ‘Worthy is the Lamb’…”, I pictured dad in heaven just overwhelmed by God’s glory and love, just absolutely overcome and weeping in joyful awe, and I couldn’t contain my smile, nor the tears streaming down my face. I love how even death has no lasting victory over those whose hope is in Christ. I love my God. Some of dad’s last words were how we on earth just don’t get eternity, and I felt like now he would emphasize that and how we still on earth just don’t get how incomparably amazing heaven is… “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9). So dad is loving every minute. We can be sad because we miss him, but surely not sad for him.
Here are some excerpts from a journal entry a week after dad’s funeral that I wrote on the beach in the spot where I often go to think and pray, and where God called me to Botswana:
Death is the last enemy to be defeated and Lord how I look forward to the day when death is no more and it is swallowed up in life. And while I think that would be comforting to dad whose life was shorter than most [in USA], I am reminded that he does not need to be comforted. He is experiencing that death-swallowing victorious life right now. He is not sad that he couldn’t live 20 more years on earth now. He does not feel robbed or cheated—He is just in inexplicable, true, all-satisfying bliss, worshipping You in perpetual awe and wonder. Would he want to come back now if he could? I highly doubt it. The things God has planned for those who love Him are beyond our comprehension – “We just don’t get it” but now dad does!
Since Christ is the firstborn from the dead and opened the way of resurrection to us, we know that dad got immediate entrance into the presence of the Lord in all His glory, and one day he will get his perfect glorified body when Jesus returns to earth. Perhaps back in Jesus’ day, it was more appealing to Lazarus to return to earth, but now I’d say it would horrible to send someone back to a fractured, broken, fallen world after they have tasted the unparalleled joy of heaven and heard the music around the throne. And so I know dad is loving it, and in terms of eternity, this is just a tiny separation before we will be reunited once more FOREVER & EVER.
I will continue by God’s strength on the path He has led me down—the call to missions He whispered here in this spot 8 years to the day before I learned of dad’s death. God is faithful. He is good. His grace is sufficient. His call irrevocable. And so I will press on, running the race He’s set before me. Indomitable through Christ.
I love you, Lord. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank you for being my Father. I will surely miss my earthly father more and more, and Lord, I pray that You will fill in the hole with Your embrace as my Heavenly Father. I’ve never known life without dad—please help me as I walk this new, difficult road and get used to “The New Normal.” Thank You that You will never leave me nor forsake me—that You are the Father to the fatherless and protector of widows. I love You. Keep drawing me close…help me mourn and grieve “well,” in Your arms. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Thank You for being constant
No matter what happens
However big the change
You are unchanging
You are constant
Constantly faithful
Constantly beautiful
Constantly with me
I used the phrase “Indomitable through Christ” in that journal entry because in the week after dad died, I heard my aunt read that word and it just jumped out at me. I had an idea of what it meant, but I asked her just in case. My suspicions were confirmed… she said something to the effect of not being overcome or beaten down even when so much is against you. Here's a dictionary definition: Incapable of being overcome, subdued, or vanquished; unconquerable. I wrote this in an email to a friend:
We are indomitable through Christ. Amen? Amen! No matter what trials, suffering, temptations, evil darts of the enemy...deaths of loved ones, car accidents, health problems, etc...if we are in Christ, even those things cannot defeat us. And if we do die, as dad did, we go to be with Him FOREVER.
A song I heard for the first time at the concert mom and I went to on June 25 is “Our God” by Chris Tomlin. As I heard it live, it just resonated in my heart as a triumphant declaration that captures this concept of having an indomitable spirit through Christ. I absolutely LOVE this song. Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
It is largely based on Romans 8:31-39, which was in my daily bible reading plan on Tuesday. Then the next day, yesterday, in the airport as I was sitting at the gate, I happened to look up and read the shirt of a woman walking past me. Her shirt read, in all caps: INDOMITABLE SPIRIT
!!!
Our God is greater!
Blessings, and thanks for all the prayers and encouragement!
~Em
I returned to Michigan last night from my weeklong trip to Minnesota. I went out there to get my jaw checked out at my jaw specialist and to visit my bro and lots of friends. It was a great trip. Though I couldn’t see everyone I would have liked because of lack of time, I was excited to get to see so many special people in my life [I lived the majority of the last 9 years there]. The jaw specialist said my jaw is not dislocated or mis-aligned, which is good news (a year ago it was dislocated on both sides). The jaw appliance I’ve been wearing at least at night was off-balance though, so they adjusted that. I’ve just been suffering from a ‘flare-up’ in my muscles perhaps related in part to the appliance being off-balance (which really means my neck/jaw shifted). I need to wear it full-time again for a month at least and be really disciplined in heating/icing and doing exercises to loosen my jaw muscles. I had therapy done on those muscles yesterday, and it didn’t hurt as much as it had in the fall (e.g. I wasn’t tempted to bite the therapist’s hand as she massaged my jaw!), so that’s a good sign.
Thanks for the prayers for my jaw and neck (the neck’s alignment directly affects the jaw). And though it’s good to know there’s nothing hugely wrong and the pain has been lessening, please keep the prayers coming if you feel so inclined as there is still some pain when I eat. I will head back to Botswana on Monday.
Back to the main reason for my trip to the States…I realized that I never shared about dad’s funeral/celebration service itself. It was a blessing to see so many family and friends from England, Chicago, Texas, Minnesota, other parts of Michigan. Fr. Darryl Pigeon and his wife Cynthia (who led our church and youth group in Lexington for 11 years) flew up from Texas. He helped officiate the service and gave one of the eulogies, sharing how dad had been his right-hand man during his years at our church, like how Epaphroditus was such a support (brother, fellow worker) for the apostle Paul. Pastor Mitch Olson from our current church also gave a nice eulogy, the most memorable part being when he joked that dad had been saying, “We just don’t get it!” regarding eternity…and five minutes later, he got it!
Before the service started, we showed a beautiful video montage of pictures of dad’s life. Ryan’s friend Ethan is a videographer, and he put it together the night before the service after we’d been busy finding and scanning pictures.
Another special part of the service was when a group of about 15-20 of us got up to sing, “It is Well with My Soul” in 4-part harmony. Mom, Dad’s sister Roni, Ryan, and I all sang as well. This impromptu choir was the idea of one of our friends who gathered together choir friends we’ve sung with from different churches to reunite to sing it. We had no rehearsal at all…but from what I could tell and what others said, it was beautiful. During communion, I played one of my own compositions on the piano. It was the first song I composed, back when I was 17, so dad heard it many times.
After a nice luncheon in which I caught up with some of my childhood friends, we drove up to Lexington Municipal Cemetery, where dad was buried. Mom, Ryan, and I had chosen a spot in the newest section the cemetery recently acquired, so his body is the first in the furthest west section under some beautiful old trees. So looking at his grave into the setting sun, you see the large tree trunks and then a field of wild grasses behind it. Dad loved and appreciated the beauty of nature, so it’s a perfect spot. At the burial, Pastor Mitch brought along his shofar (ram's horn trumpet) from Israel and blew it to honor dad. He's only blown it on a few very special occasions.
And on a more humorous note, when I was growing up, dad, when walking the dog by the cemetery or after the Memorial Day parades that ended with a service there, would point out the irony that next to the cemetery is a yellow road sign that reads “Dead End”! He always got a kick out of that, so we had a laugh knowing he is surely amused to be buried at the “Dead End” in Lexington.
A couple days after the funeral, I went into Meijer, one of dad’s favorite places to shop. As I walked in the door, I saw a big poster ad for Cedar Point, an amusement park with tons of roller coasters. I got excited thinking of the fun I’ve had there in the past and anticipating going there again someday, and then I remembered that I can’t go on roller coasters anymore because of my neck. Then I thought about how dad is gone…and I thought as I walked down the aisle that I could really get down if I focused on all the negative things—what I can’t do anymore, how dad is gone, etc.
Then just a minute or two later, I saw and picked up Daily Devotions Inspired by 90 Minutes in Heaven [a book]. Both dad and I had read that book last fall – it’s about a man, Don Piper, who miraculously survived a horrific car accident. I happened to open right to the entry entitled: The New Normal. Here are some excerpts:
“All of us have those times when [life changes drastically]. We can never go back to the old way—the “normal” behavior or circumstances. What had been normal becomes simply the way life used to be. Because we can’t go backward, the best we can do is to learn to accept our life as it is now, move forward, and discover a new kind of normal…All of us have those times when we look at what was and compare it with what is. Some of us have had to face that a number of times; others have a single experience that is as powerful a line of demarcation as the line between B.C. and A.D.
Because the old way—the old normal—is gone, we have to find a new one… My physical condition had made me a different person…Many physical activities I had taken for granted were no longer possible….We can never return to the way life was, even though we may cry out for it. Part of our happiness depends on accepting the new reality that we are now living. This is how I function now. I can make it the best phase of my life or I can refuse to accept to accept the changes. It’s up to me. But this much I can tell anyone: If we accept the new normal, life will be happier and easier.
Dear God, I may not like the things that have changed; I wish my life had not altered. But it has. Remind me that because you love me and are in control of my life, this phase of my life can be as good as or even better than the way life was before. Amen.”
Wow…so if that didn’t address EXACTLY what I had just been thinking, I don’t know what does! I didn’t buy the book at the time, but a few days later I decided I wanted to after all. And when I picked it up a few days later to buy it, I opened to this page about church members whose pastor had just died:
“They wanted explanations and I had to tell them, ‘Sometimes there are no explanations. Sometimes we have to trust God’s wisdom and timing, despite all the sorrow we face.’…I can’t explain why some people die in horrible accidents and others don’t. I don’t know why some good people die young and some wicked people live to be ninety. If we focus only on such events, we lose our perspective.
The proper perspective is that God loves us and is with us, even during the worst of times. There is an old story about the discouraged father who cried out to a pastor, ‘Where was God when my son died?’ The minister said, ‘The same place he was when his own son died.’
God is with us—all the time. We can focus on tragedy and ask, ‘Where was God?’ Or we can say, ‘God, this tragedy hurts. I’m in pain. Help me.’
When I spoke to the congregation in Arizona, I [asked]: ‘Do you think your pastor is sitting at the gate of heaven right now crying because he’s not here with you?’
‘No, I think he’s rejoicing in the presence of the Lord,’ someone said.
‘Absolutely right. So you don’t need to weep for him. Weep for your loss, cry because you miss him, but don’t weep for him.’”
That reminds me of how the day after the funeral, I heard the song “I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin for the first time I really remember (listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bms0ZiM_KG0&feature=fvst), and when it reached the soaring, ethereal bridge—“And I hear the voice of many angels sing, ‘Worthy is the Lamb’…”, I pictured dad in heaven just overwhelmed by God’s glory and love, just absolutely overcome and weeping in joyful awe, and I couldn’t contain my smile, nor the tears streaming down my face. I love how even death has no lasting victory over those whose hope is in Christ. I love my God. Some of dad’s last words were how we on earth just don’t get eternity, and I felt like now he would emphasize that and how we still on earth just don’t get how incomparably amazing heaven is… “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9). So dad is loving every minute. We can be sad because we miss him, but surely not sad for him.
Here are some excerpts from a journal entry a week after dad’s funeral that I wrote on the beach in the spot where I often go to think and pray, and where God called me to Botswana:
Death is the last enemy to be defeated and Lord how I look forward to the day when death is no more and it is swallowed up in life. And while I think that would be comforting to dad whose life was shorter than most [in USA], I am reminded that he does not need to be comforted. He is experiencing that death-swallowing victorious life right now. He is not sad that he couldn’t live 20 more years on earth now. He does not feel robbed or cheated—He is just in inexplicable, true, all-satisfying bliss, worshipping You in perpetual awe and wonder. Would he want to come back now if he could? I highly doubt it. The things God has planned for those who love Him are beyond our comprehension – “We just don’t get it” but now dad does!
Since Christ is the firstborn from the dead and opened the way of resurrection to us, we know that dad got immediate entrance into the presence of the Lord in all His glory, and one day he will get his perfect glorified body when Jesus returns to earth. Perhaps back in Jesus’ day, it was more appealing to Lazarus to return to earth, but now I’d say it would horrible to send someone back to a fractured, broken, fallen world after they have tasted the unparalleled joy of heaven and heard the music around the throne. And so I know dad is loving it, and in terms of eternity, this is just a tiny separation before we will be reunited once more FOREVER & EVER.
I will continue by God’s strength on the path He has led me down—the call to missions He whispered here in this spot 8 years to the day before I learned of dad’s death. God is faithful. He is good. His grace is sufficient. His call irrevocable. And so I will press on, running the race He’s set before me. Indomitable through Christ.
I love you, Lord. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank you for being my Father. I will surely miss my earthly father more and more, and Lord, I pray that You will fill in the hole with Your embrace as my Heavenly Father. I’ve never known life without dad—please help me as I walk this new, difficult road and get used to “The New Normal.” Thank You that You will never leave me nor forsake me—that You are the Father to the fatherless and protector of widows. I love You. Keep drawing me close…help me mourn and grieve “well,” in Your arms. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Thank You for being constant
No matter what happens
However big the change
You are unchanging
You are constant
Constantly faithful
Constantly beautiful
Constantly with me
I used the phrase “Indomitable through Christ” in that journal entry because in the week after dad died, I heard my aunt read that word and it just jumped out at me. I had an idea of what it meant, but I asked her just in case. My suspicions were confirmed… she said something to the effect of not being overcome or beaten down even when so much is against you. Here's a dictionary definition: Incapable of being overcome, subdued, or vanquished; unconquerable. I wrote this in an email to a friend:
We are indomitable through Christ. Amen? Amen! No matter what trials, suffering, temptations, evil darts of the enemy...deaths of loved ones, car accidents, health problems, etc...if we are in Christ, even those things cannot defeat us. And if we do die, as dad did, we go to be with Him FOREVER.
A song I heard for the first time at the concert mom and I went to on June 25 is “Our God” by Chris Tomlin. As I heard it live, it just resonated in my heart as a triumphant declaration that captures this concept of having an indomitable spirit through Christ. I absolutely LOVE this song. Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
It is largely based on Romans 8:31-39, which was in my daily bible reading plan on Tuesday. Then the next day, yesterday, in the airport as I was sitting at the gate, I happened to look up and read the shirt of a woman walking past me. Her shirt read, in all caps: INDOMITABLE SPIRIT
!!!
Our God is greater!
Blessings, and thanks for all the prayers and encouragement!
~Em
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