Spared in Another Car Accident!

Hello again!

Well, I realize it’s been a LONG time since I updated this. I have many great things to share about the rest of my U.S. trip, my YFC trip to Germany, and my time back in Botswana. But for this post, I will focus on another minor car accident that happened Friday October 5th here in Botswana. The story has many intriguing facets, so I hope you can take the time to read to the end.

To put you at ease, everyone is fine. That Friday morning on the drive to work, we were rear-ended by a guy who was speeding and evidently not paying good attention to the road. He was hoping to pass on the right (remember we drive on the left side of the road), but I was signaling to turn right. He didn't realize that till too late and slammed on the brakes. By the time I heard the loud screech from his brakes and looked in the rear view mirror, there was no time to even think which way I should go—a split-second later he just slammed right into the back of my car, crushing the trunk, to the point that the car might be totaled or written off (the frame is bent too and back door won't open). We spun around twice and ended up facing the opposite direction. (You can see in the picture—my car is the blue one).

Thankfully the three YFC housemates in my car and I are all fine--no cuts, no scrapes, nothing broken. The other driver is also fine. His airbag deployed, and he just had a sore forearm. The other driver and I went with the policeman to the police station, and the other driver signed the admission of guilt in causing the crash and was fined on the spot. It is no question that it was not my fault so my insurance will cover my car's damage (the other driver does not have insurance).

So...praise God we are all ok. Debora, a new German YFC volunteer, told me after the accident that as we left home to start that journey, she had been struggling to get her seat belt to click in at her seat in the back. The law in Botswana doesn’t require passengers in the back to wear seat belts, but the “law in Em’s car” is that everyone must wear a seatbelt! Debora tried 5 or 6 times without success to get her seatbelt to click into place. She had thought, "Ah, it's only a very short drive to the office, I'll just not wear my seatbelt," but something (the Holy Spirit, I believe!) urged her to try again. The next time, it clicked into place, which secured her in the accident just two or three minutes later when the other car hit directly behind her.

Pictured are the four of us who were in the accident

Another thing for which I'm grateful-- I had planned to take my guitar to work Friday morning and had set it out the night before so I wouldn't forget to take it. Friday morning, though, I changed my mind and decided I would get it when I went home for lunch. Since there were 3 passengers, I would've put the guitar in the trunk and it would've been destroyed. Finally, because of the passengers, I put my backpack (with my laptop in it) in the trunk of my car. Thankfully, I placed it precisely where I did in the trunk—despite the trunk being crushed, it was unscathed! Though the whole trunk was truncated (no pun intended), my backpack was not affected. The trunk and outside of the car was pressing it on all sides, yet it was not crushed. It reminded me of the scripture, “hard pressed on every side, but not crushed” (2 Corinthians 4:8). Others who’ve looked at the trunk are amazed that my bag survived intact.

Below is what my car used to look like, with some goats I chased featured as well for good measure :)

Or here's a clearer view of what my '99 Toyota Corolla looked like (I found this picture online of the same kind of car). So you can see that yes, my car did have a
trunk:

The police officer who arrived on the scene first asked if there were any injuries. When we replied that no one was hurt, he said, “Well then, the first thing we need to do is stop and thank God.” He drove both me and the other driver to the police station to take our statements. While filling out the forms, the police officer said to us that God allows things for reasons we don’t always understand at the time, but that we can trust that God will bring good out of this. When the cop discovered the young man who hit me is unemployed and not studying, he told him, “There are lots of programs and grants that can help you; even Youth for Christ. See, they come from the other side of the world to help people like you. You should go visit them at Youth for Christ.” Nothing like a preaching police officer!

So...how is my neck??

After this my third accident (the first fracturing the top two vertebrae in my neck), it's with proper concern that you might wonder how my neck fared. Physically, my neck feels almost back to normal. It’s still a bit tight, but it’s much better than it was the couple days after the accident when every movement (even swallowing) hurt. I was reminded again how much we use our neck muscles. My left arm started feeling numb-ish about 8 hours after the accident, so understandably it was a bit unnerving (ha, sorry couldn’t resist the pun again!). I went to the hospital to get X-rays of my neck. Thankfully, the doctor thinks my neck is fine structurally. He even said the discs look "perfectly aligned." The numbness subsided by the day after the accident.

When I got home, I compared my neck X-rays this time with those taken after the rollover accident in Botswana last year July, and to my eyes, they look the same (which is good). Minutes later, I finally got around to reading the passages in my Bible reading plan for the day of the accident, October 5th. It included this verse in Hosea 10:11 (God speaking): “I spared her fair neck.” ☺ I know it’s taken out of context, but hey, it fits! Could you imagine a more fitting verse in all of the Bible?! It’s like last year when I returned from the x-rays that showed that my tendons/ligaments had held my neck stable after that rollover (if you recall, the big issue after the rollover in 2008 was that, according to the neurosurgeon, the tendons/ligaments between my top two vertebrae were destroyed/ “ripped to shreds”…though later he acknowledged they must have healed). After the x-rays last year, I read my bible reading plan and it included (again out of context) God saying: “The sinews of your neck were iron” (Isaiah 48:4) ☺. God has a sense of humor for sure…and is just plain amazing.

Prayers for Protection

Another interesting thing is that last Thursday when I was at a missions conference, I was explaining the accident to the young woman from Gaborone who was co-leading intercession prayer with me. She came on the YFC camp Youth Week last year and is currently studying theology. When I told her about the loud screeching tires as the other driver slammed on the brakes and then about how our car spun twice, she got an awestruck look on her face and asked me, “When was your accident??” I told her it happened Friday morning. “NO way!” she exclaimed. Then she started to explain how early Friday morning around 4 am, she had felt, as she described, the Holy Spirit wake her up to pray. She said this happens from time to time and she usually just prays while still lying down, then rolls over back to sleep. But this time, she felt it was much more serious so she actually sat up and prayed for about 10-15 minutes as she felt the Holy Spirit led.

Then she tried to go back to sleep, and in a semi-sleep state, she felt a strong heaviness and heard what sounded like car tires screeching and wicked laughter, like of demons or witches, then she felt like she was spinning. The spinning woke her up fully, and she told me it had felt even like her bed was spinning. She believes the Holy Spirit revealed to her that the Enemy was planning a car accident. At first, she prayed for protection for her family, but then felt led to pray against whatever is being planned against any child of God. She fell asleep again, and woke up sometime between 8 and 9am (she doesn’t recall the time). When she woke up, she felt the Holy Spirit remind her again that “the Devil’s actually planning an accident for somebody,” and she prayed again for protection. Our accident occurred in that same hour between 8 and 9 (8:25am).

This young woman spent several weeks a few months ago ministering and interceding at the Senior Secondary School in Mochudi (just near the accident site—the other driver probably decided to pass us while he was driving in front of that school), and her mother is from Mochudi. So she has spent hours praying for Mochudi and is familiar with the accident site. She marveled at how we are one big network or family of believers, that we are never alone. She found it so amazing that God can raise up other believers to pray for someone in danger even if they don’t know for whom they are praying. Is that what happened here? Seems like it. It seems too perfectly timed and perfectly suited (screeching, car accident, spinning, in Mochudi) to be a coincidence.

Also, after the accident was announced in my home church in Michigan, my mom told me that a woman came up to her after the service and said that I’d been on her heart all that week and she’d been praying for my protection. It reminded me of how just hours after my first rollover in Colorado (while I was in emergency neck surgery yet none of my friends or family was yet aware), a friend from Bethany College of Missions felt led to pray for me. She started praying for my upcoming departure to Botswana, but then clearly felt the Lord lead her to pray instead for my protection. I don't claim to know how that all works with regard to people praying for protection because sometimes I know people don’t survive accidents. In Scripture, we see that sometimes the apostles were miraculously delivered, and other times they were hurt or killed. In Peter’s case, he was miraculously delivered due, in large part it seems, to the simultaneous prayers of the other believers (see Acts 12), but later he was martyred. So it’s hard to understand why sometimes we are spared and other times not. God’s ways are mysterious. God is sovereign and yet somehow our prayers do factor in. How that works exactly, I still have yet to grasp. What I do know for sure is that prayer is effective and that I am grateful for every prayer for my protection. I know many of you pray for me, and I am so thankful. Truly we are one big family.

Grateful again,
Em

P.S. I’m also grateful that an American missionary family who were in our bible study group donated their vehicle to YFC when they left the mission field in Botswana earlier this year. That is what I’m driving for my ministry in the meantime while my car either gets fixed or replaced.

Speaking in Michigan Sunday & Tuesday; God doing amazing things--Beauty from the Ashes!!

Greetings from Michigan!

Well, time has flown by! I wanted to send out a quick, albeit very last-minute, reminder that I will be speaking tomorrow (or today depending when you read this), Sunday July 29 at the 9:30 and 11:00am services at Grace Ministry Center in Port Huron (Kimball) MI, in the outlet mall off of Range Road. I’ll be sharing some amazing testimonies of God-at-work in Botswana.

Also, a new update is that I will be giving a presentation with pictures, movies, and testimonies/stories from Botswana this coming Tuesday, July 31 at 6:30pm at Trinity in Lexington (5646 Main Street). When you come in the side doors off the parking lot, go up the stairs, and go through the first doors to the left.

My time in the U.S. (and Canada today and yesterday!) has been great! It’s been a blessing to see so many friends and family.

Chillin' with Mom at home in Michigan, enjoying the beautiful garden she designed and tends.

As I said, time has flown by, so unfortunately I couldn’t see everyone in Minnesota I’d hoped, but I’m thankful to have seen the ones I did! I hope to see some more in Michigan this week. I have just 8 full days left in the U.S. I leave on August 6 to fly back to Botswana for my second term!

The Rock Testimony

I had no doubt I am supposed to return to Botswana, but I’ll share a story that continued to confirm that I’m on the right track:

In May when I was going for a run along the Lake Huron beach, I stopped to sit and pray at the spot where, at age 19 back in 2002, I’d first felt God calling me to be a missionary (“You should be a missionary” had popped into my mind randomly). After much prayer and God confirming it in many ways, I was back on the beach a couple months later praying and asking God where I was supposed to be a missionary. Right after I prayed, “I’ll go wherever You want me to go; wherever You want to send me…”, then “Botswana” popped in my mind! I wasn’t even sure what/where that was! Again, through much prayer and many things, God confirmed that, indeed, Botswana is where I’m supposed to be.

So now, ten years after that, in late May this year, I was on that stretch of beach and continued north to the beach for Cozma’s Cottages, just about half a mile further up the beach from where I felt called to missions/Botswana. I remembered that we used to vacation at Cozma’s back when we still lived in Dexter, Michigan (near Ann Arbor). So I had been on that very beach as a 7 and 8 year old. As I was there this May, reminiscing about that, I had the thought that God saw me there on that very beach 22 years ago, and I believe in His foreknowledge, knowing the end from the beginning, He knew even when I was 7 that 12 years later He would call me to missions and Botswana just a half mile down that shoreline. So I thought, 'Why don’t I find a cool-looking rock from Cozma’s beach to keep as a reminder that even then, when I was first here (or truthfully, before I was even born), God knew that He would call me to missions in Botswana?' Within 10 seconds of starting to look for a rock, I found one that I and many others feel has a striking resemblance to the continent of Africa, even including the Horn of Africa!

Yup…that one will do!! So now I have an Africa-shaped rock to remind me that, way back when, God knew He would call me to missions in Africa!!! I was just blown away yet again by our amazing God!! Also, others have even seen a whitish angel inside “Africa” on the rock—a profile view with her head bowed and wings to the right, dress at the bottom.

Another background story that makes it even cooler is that when I was at Cozma’s beach at age 7, I had collected a cup full of little rocks and shells that I wanted to keep and take back to my home in Dexter. I left the cup down on the dock, and when I came back later, someone had stolen it. For a 7-year-old, I was sad and upset. Now I can run up and down that shoreline and have any of millions of rocks...and at that same spot 22 years later, God gave me a pretty sweet rock!

So, all that to say, I’m excited to head back to Botswana, for I know Africa is where I’m supposed to be. Even one of the YFC volunteers in Botswana, upon hearing this rock story, wrote to me that it’s a sign that my work is not done there in Africa. True that.

Speaking of going back, my Botswana residence permit expires today, but I applied before I left for a renewal. Prayers for its quick approval are appreciated and that they let me in Botswana without a hassle (I have the receipt for the renewal to show them).

Beauty from Ashes

One other interesting story I'll share happened this week. I was back on that stretch of Lake Huron shoreline again on Thursday, and since it looked rainy I left my mp3 music player in the car. So as I walked along the beach about an 1/8 mile from the spot where I felt called to missions/Botswana, I was singing the song I wrote last year called "Beauty from Ashes" (and for the record, this was the first time I can ever remember singing my own songs a cappella on a run/walk...I normally listen to music or just think/pray without music). Then right as I was singing the chorus--"You [God] bring beauty from ashes, You trade joy for mourning, You bring beauty from ashes..." I saw RIGHT in front of me, washed up on shore, a flower (like a rose or carnation with a stem)! Never in all my years of running and walking along the beach have I ever seen a flower wash up on the shore! And what beautiful timing--RIGHT as I'm singing how God brings beauty from the ashes.

Interestingly, I realized later that the spot where that rose washed up is literally within feet of where I was sitting about 3 months after my accident when I found a piece of glass washed up on the shore and shared the following email I'd written on this Caring Bridge journal:

Maybe we can learn a lesson from a piece of glass I found on the beach today. It had been washed in the water so long that it was dull and opaque (no longer clear), but also no longer sharp. I remember thinking what's it good for now? You can't look through it anymore. But then I saw another flat brown rock and I picked it up. Then without really thinking I rubbed the glass on it and drew clearly a white heart on the rock. The glass "wrote" extremely well and clearly (more so than other rocks would).

As I was walking back home, I was kinda like, "Lord, are you trying to teach me something from that??" and then I thought how sometimes things happen that change us that we have no control over. Sometimes we can't do the things we used to. Sometimes the future will look much different than the past. The glass didn't choose to be thrown in the lake and become dull, soft-edged, and opaque. It's no longer able to do what it used to do--be a clear substance through which one can look. But is it useless now? No, it can be used in different ways now.

Similarly, things will never be the same for the families of Isaac, Jessica, and Karin. There is no hope of going back to the way things used to be, now that they are Home. But there is hope, that though things are different, God still has purposes and plans for the grieving families and can use them just as they are now, though they may feel broken, worn, empty. And it may be that very brokenness that allows them in the future to 'write' Christ's heart out for others to see during their times of heartache. Their ability to empathize with and comfort others after this does not necessarily make the tragedy 'worthwhile' or 'justified'...it doesn't outweigh the pain, but it does show that when things change us forever, God is still at work to bring good out of it so it is not a total loss.

So, in this life, yes things will always be different. We are like the broken glass that's been tossed by the waves, forever changed. But God is working to somehow bring good out of even that. And then once this time on earth is done, we have the hope that we will be reunited with those we love who have died before us in faith. So yes, death stings unimaginably hard now...but ultimately we will be able to say, "Where O Death is your sting?” for “Death has been swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor 15:54-55).
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So that's what I wrote in nearly the same spot where this week I found a flower washed up on the shore for the first time ever, while singing that God brings beauty from the ashes (good out of hard things)!

Reading now what I wrote back then and how I'd taken it mainly from the angle of the other families, reminds me that I have yet to share with you all the wonderful news that little Isaac's parents (the other two survivors), Scott & Andrea Sward, were extremely blessed by Andrea's giving birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy, Zachary Alan, in late May!! They are in Cambodia with their precious little guy.

Beautiful!

Blessings!
~Em

Back in the U.S. -- Speaking this Sunday in Minnesota!

Hello!!

It’s been a LONG time! I have lots of exciting things to share from the last few months in Botswana, but I will do that in later posts. Right now I’m now in Minnesota, USA on my furlough (home assignment). Every 2-3 years, Youth for Christ missionaries spend a few months on home assignment as part of their job description. We are to visit churches and supporters, visit with family & friends, and make sure I have enough prayer and financial support for the next 2-3 year term. So I arrived home to Michigan in late May and just drove to Minnesota to be here for a month.

Here in Minnesota, I’ll visit with friends and supporters, speak in churches, and get medical check-ups. I already got my jaw appliance adjusted yesterday. Please pray that it works this time and I can taper off of wearing it.

For those in Minnesota, I know it’s late notice, but I will be giving a presentation this Sunday June 10 at Messiah Church, 1631 Ford Parkway, in Highland, St. Paul. It will be in the Adult Education hour starting around 10am. This is between the 8:30 and 11:00am services. You are most welcome to just come to the presentation at 10, or to join in one of the services as well.

I’ll head back to Michigan in early July and back to Botswana on August 6th. I hope to visit as many supporters and other friends as possible while I’m in the U.S.

As I mentioned above, a LOT of awesome things are happening in Botswana right now! My lack of communication lately hasn’t been because of a lack of things to share, but rather the opposite—so much going on that it was hard to find the time to sit down and write about it or figure out where to start. So…over the next couple months, while I’m Stateside, I hope to update you with the stories bit by bit to get you caught up! Hope you are doing well!

Blessings!

~Em

P.S. A heads-up for those in Michigan: I will be speaking in the Adult Sunday School at Croswell Wesleyan Church at 9:30ish on Sunday July 8th. Then July 9-20, I will be attending a “Growth and Renewal Retreat” at a retreat center in western Michigan, designed specifically for missionaries and pastors. Then on July 29, I will be speaking during the sermon time in the 9:30 and 11am services at Grace Ministry Center (in the Outlet Mall off of Range Road). I will also possibly speak at a couple more churches. I will keep you posted.

Reflections

Hey all!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written! I have great ministry and life stories to share, but this post I just want to pause and reflect a bit. This entry will be long, but I think you will find it worth the read...especially if you've followed the story since my accident...since I will share more meaningful stories/things related to that. Feel free to take breaks, but I figured I'd keep it all in one post instead of breaking it up myself.

February has become a month of memories—being that the 4-year anniversary of my accident in Colorado was February 3; I left home for Botswana (and said goodbye to my dad this side of heaven) on February 14; and my dad’s birthday is February 23. I’ve been meaning to share some more meaningful things related both to the accident and my dad, so I think I’ll do that now and then share about the awesome things happening here in Botswana in later posts.

When I was home in Michigan in October, I came across these notes that my dad had written in a journal when he was at my bedside in the hospital a few days after the accident, apparently to post online though he never did. For those who aren’t familiar with the accident story, it’s a good re-cap:

Emily planned on being in Colorado to complete her preparations to go to Botswana. She attended Mission Training International which has programs especially designed for people going to and coming back from the mission field. The school is situated south of Denver. It is an area of AWESOME natural beauty.

On Saturday February 2nd she and a classmate attempted to climb Pikes Peak. When she called her “concerned” parents after returning to the campus she was elated that although they hadn’t reached the top, it had been a truly wonderful experience.

On Sunday she was riding to church with five other MTI students when the minivan they were riding in was sideswiped, pushed off the expressway, and rolled several times before coming to rest. Passersby and Off-duty EMT were quickly on the scene to help. Two students were killed and a young child was fatally injured and air-lifted to a special hospital. The child’s mother and father were injured, and Em was rushed to the Littleton Adventist Hospital where she underwent surgery to repair a fractured vertebra in her neck. Family was notified just as the Superbowl started and a network of prayer and support erupted.

Hugh flew out on Monday afternoon and has been at her bedside in the Critical Care Unit. The medical attention she is getting is professional, loving and superlative. The support Hugh has received from Youth for Christ and the MTI school is truly humbling. The Family of God is immense.

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Since I arrived here in Denver on Monday evening I have been overwhelmed by the love and caring of God’s people who have surrounded Em and me, both physically and spiritually. I know that there are prayers bombarding heaven on her behalf because we are seeing amazings works coming down on her.

Angels surrounded her and still do—It is truly AWESOME to watch her push through…I have seen her progress to the point of walking from chair to bed; from laying perfectly still through wiggling to deliberate actions. It will be a slow process, but the journey has started…

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Indeed, it’s been a journey. On that trip back to the States, I realized the only thing that has been in, and survived both rollover accidents (the one in Colorado in 2008 and the one in Botswana last July) is my bible (and me). Interesting…It reminds me of what really matters…our faith in God.

After hiking Mt. Herman in Colorado in late September, I spent some time journaling, reflecting, and praying near the stone memorial built up at Mission Training International (MTI) for Jessica, Karin, and Isaac who didn’t survive the accident. I never did share some of the things God taught me/spoke to me on that Colorado trip, so I felt like I would do that now. I sometimes feel a bit weird sharing a prayer on the internet, but I feel it best captures how I felt and what God was teaching me:

**Prayer in journal by MTI memorial:

Father, as I sit here in this sanctuary, I’m reminded of what really matters. When reminded of life & death, I know that life is to know You. If I know You, no matter what happens it will be ok in the end. You are in control, and You are good. Your grace is sufficient. Your love in unchanging. Your hope is everlasting. Your kingdom is eternal. Your power is stronger than the mountains—it moves the mountains. You are the great I AM, the Creator of all of this. The creation testifies to Your beauty and majesty. You are sovereign, and You will work all things together for good & for Your glory. You are the Redeemer, bringing beauty from the ashes. Father You are so faithful. How blessed am I to feel Your hand upon this life? Your healing hand, Your redemptive hand, Your hand of guidance & protection, Your hand of love. Love. You love me. I remember those early days after the accident how You made Your love & presence so tangible. I knew it was ok because You were near and You love me. I was metaphorically stripped to nakedness—just me. I was “useless,” unable to do anything but rest & recover. I had questions, but I was certain of Your love & goodness in the midst of it all. It was a beautifully simple time of just knowing Your nearness & Your love…that just “me” was ok. I didn’t have to strive or perform to earn Your love & presence. I didn’t have to work to gain worth & value. You already loved me. You already gave me worth—and nothing I could do would change that; nothing I couldn’t do would change that. I sit here recalling that time with fondness, almost envy—just such a simple, yet beautiful time where I just felt so loved, so cared for, so certain of Your love & approval, even when all striving had ceased—all work for You halted.

And here I sit, realizing You desire me to experience that same certainty of being loved, being cared for, being ok and affirmed by Your unchanging, unfailing love even now when I can be “useful” for Your kingdom. If I lose sight of this simple truth—that You love me in my “naked useless state,” the core of who I am apart from any efforts or work or ministry—if I lose sight of that, my efforts, work, & ministry will unknowingly become a striving for worth, for affirmation (from You & from people), for fulfillment and feeling “ok,” for “success.” My feelings of success and fulfillment then become enmeshed and dependent upon ministry success. Yes we want the ministry to flourish and “succeed,” but the message You have been speaking so much lately is that the results are Your responsibility, not mine. The success is Your arena, not mine. I just need to be responsive and faithful to Your lead and leave the results up to You.

Sitting here again realizing that I survived, but Jess, Karin, and Isaac did not affirms my resolve to use my life fully for You & Your kingdom…and so I know You have kept me alive for Your purposes, and therefore I want to fulfill every facet of the calling You have on my life. But what I’m realizing afresh is that I cannot fulfill those purposes in my own strength—“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me” (Psalm 138:8). I cannot, but Christ-in-me can. And this remembrance of that “naked simplicity” when I was “useless” now speaks to me—that no matter the outward usefulness or “success” in ministry, or lack thereof, it does not change the true meaning of life—to know You & be loved by You; to love You in return. If my ministry is flourishing & successful or if it is discouraging & seemingly failing, You still call me a success. You still love me. You care for me as much now as You did when You nursed me back to health. You have given me unalterable worth in Christ. Yes it is good to work with all my heart, but I do it from the deep understanding that the burden is lifted from the results needing to influence my sense of worth, success, or value. If I appear a failure but I am following Your lead, then let the world or other Christians call me a failure; I will cling to the truth that I am a success in You, and I will trust that You are in control and will work it all out in Your timing. Looking at this memorial, I am reminded of how in the face of this tragedy, You have worked, and You continue to work, to bring beauty from the ashes, triumph out of tragedy. Even now You are still teaching me through that “broken road” we travelled.

So I will rise, out of these ashes rise. I will go forth to be Your instrument in Your hand, allowing you to guide & lead me and working with all the energy that You provide which works so powerfully in me. Furious rest—working hard, but not striving in my own strength; no, working hard as You lead, dependent on Your strength and resting in You, trusting in Your power & strength, relying on Your sufficient grace, leaning on my Beloved knowing the results are in Your hands. Resting in the understanding of Your love & affirmation over me, resting in Your unfailing love…knowing that I am ok…a success in Your eyes through Christ, regardless of the external ministry “success.” You are the Great I AM—I am not. But Christ is in me, and I trust that You can do in and through me what I could never do on my own. Wow, I just bought this song today, and the second part fits perfectly (and I didn’t understand it earlier):

I will rise, out of these ashes rise. ‘Cause He who is in me is greater than I will ever be, and I will rise. –“Rise” by Shawn McDonald

[This song came on the radio right after passing the accident site last night…the first time I’d ever heard it. The song playing as I passed the accident site was “Walk by Faith”—“I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see because this broken road prepares Your will for me.” Then “Rise” came on… “I will rise, out of these ashes rise. From the trouble I’ve found and this rubble on the ground, I will rise…”]

Father You are beautiful. You are my King. You are in control. You are all-powerful. You have everything under control. I trust that You will guide & lead me in Your timing and give all I need to fulfill the purposes for which I am still alive on earth. I trust that You will work through me to fulfill all the purposes. You will do it. It’s gonna be God—it’s gonna be good. I love You.

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Later that same day, I found this when looking at old sent facebook messages for first time. It was something I wrote in the hospital to a friend (I hope you can understand it…I couldn’t see well and was typing one-handed):

Feb 12 2008—
thanks for your prayerers and love, i;ll have to kkep it shortcuz i only can use 1 hand to type,. and i can't see wiyhout my glasses...the're in the rubble somewhere or on a colorado median. this has been the hardest thinh ever but i am so blessed that i'm alive at all and i thnj tmorrow they are transferring me to rehab! Giod is so faithful...i'll just have a song lyric or verse pop in my head that reaally encurages me (eg your grace is sufficient for me). do you knoe the song Beccause He lives? that popped ino my head today and made me cry,,,,beause he lives, i can face tomorrow...i don't understand it all, but i know He is good…love,em

The fact that I said “Rubble” reminded me of the song “Rise” that I’d journaled about earlier that day and first heard the night before just after passing the accident site: “I will rise, out of these ashes rise…from this trouble I’ve found, from this rubble on the ground, I will rise.”

The next day, Sunday September 25, the family that I was staying with, the George family who were on the scene of our accident praying for us, were enjoying their daughter’s championship soccer tournament so they were unable to make it to church that morning (her team won the championship by the way!!). So I pondered where I should go to church. Then I remembered that a pastor from a local Anglican church had visited me in the hospital and invited my parents to church that first Sunday after the accident. The following Sunday I attended the service with them and my brother just before we headed to the airport. The church had kindly invited me to the front in my stunning titanium halo to pray for me. So I decided to revisit that church, Resurrection Anglican.

No one recognized me without my halo so I just sat down and enjoyed the service. During a part of the service where you greet the people around you, someone asked if it was my first time at the church. “Well…no…do you remember 3.5 years ago, a young woman with a titanium halo on her head who was invited to the front for prayer?” Their eyes portrayed their recollection. They were amazed that it was me. After hearing a brief description of how I’m doing now, they went right up to the preacher and asked if I could be invited forward to share. So I was called up front to testify to them of the Lord’s hand in my life. Something about the fact that the last time they saw me I was in such rough shape, wearing a halo brace, made me have to fight back tears as I shared that I never needed the second neck surgery and I’ve been a missionary in Botswana for almost two years…able not only to walk, but to run and hike mountains. People in the congregation remembered me and were also tearing up. As I stood up front, some of the leaders gathered around and prayed for me again. What a blessed visit.

The pastor who had visited me in the hospital was actually out-of-town, but God used the visiting African preacher to bless me richly as well. His name is Fr. Edward and during his sermon, he happened to mention that he was ordained as a minister in the 70s on July 10!!! (July 10 is the day God confirmed His call to missions in Botswana in my life and it has come up numerous times to confirm that call). Here are some notes I took on his sermon, which echoed my prayer from the day before:

You and I were made to thrive on God…To pursue Him as our greatest desire. This is the point of life—to pursue God. We should desire God above all, not our idea of a better life, our goals of what we think will make us fulfilled and happy—blessings and possessions. God grants or withholds blessings according to a plan we don’t understand. It’s not a formula that if we live right, we will get blessings and a good life. The old way=If we follow God, He will bless us with a good life and what we want. The new way=Instead, live right and follow God to know God and enjoy God. That takes the pressure off! It doesn’t mean we rule out hard work, but the pressure is off.

Seek God and enjoy Him. Spend time with Him. If you are pursuing your goal and bringing God on board, it is getting things backward—so busy and worn out, with less time to pray and spend time with God, in Bible. The Christian is not a success in anything on planet earth. The Christian life is success in knowing God, loving Him.

Get the pressure off yourself—go to your knees and seek Him.

God is saying, “ Love Me, not that thing you are longing for.” Whether you get what you are longing for or not, it does not matter if you are pursuing God first and loving Him. Revel in Him. Think about Him often. Spend time in His presence.

What are you pursuing to near madness? What do you think will give you the “good life” once you’ve achieved it? Your good life is pursuing a deep, loving relationship with Jesus. You don’t belong to this world. Don’t waste effort in trying to pursue what this world can offer you. Jesus is our great reward. May we pursue Him with every last drop of our blood.

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So it was such a confirmation of what God had taught me the day before at the MTI memorial, and like the movie I’d watched at the bible study the night before at the George’s! God had been teaching me not to pursue ministry “success” in Gaborone (where I am re-starting and heading up YFC) above pursuing Him and trusting Him with the results. And the sermon that confirmed that was given by a preacher from Africa who was ordained on July 10, no less!! (That message was also reiterated that night by the YFC International President in his opening talk, and throughout the General Assembly conference).

After the service, I met the visiting African pastor and he knows friends in Gaborone and has since contacted, encouraged, and prayed for me. Other people from the congregation thanked me for revisiting. One couple said, “You’ve encouraged us to see God still works!! You’ve blessed us so much in coming. Just seeing you now builds our faith. We hear about things like this but now we are actually seeing it in person.”

That reminds me that the chaplain from the hospital recently called me a “running work of God” and wrote an email in September to my mom (they are in touch because, since the accident, Mom crochets afghan blankets and ships them to the chaplain at the hospital to hand out to patients as a means of comforting them—another way God is bringing beauty from the ashes), in which he wrote:

“You should know that even just last week her case was discussed between staff members as an example of how miracles do descend upon us.”

And here in Botswana, I’ve been asked to share about God’s miraculous hand in my life. The YFC Kids Club is in the midst of a three-week series on miracles—last week discussing miracles in the Old Testament, this week teaching on miracles in the New Testament, and next week about miracles today in our lives. The Kids Club leaders approached me and asked if I could be the example of a modern-day miracle! So next week, I will visit the Kids Clubs each afternoon and share a brief testimony of how God works miracles today. Another YFC volunteer told me that in response to a conversation-prompt question we have at our drop-in centre—“What do you think when you hear the word ‘miracle’?—she thinks of me. Wow. I’m so thankful for God’s healing hand.

This year on February 3, the 4-year anniversary of the accident, we at YFC were scheduled to lead the morning assembly for the whole school in Mochudi. We had a drama prepared but in the morning, less than an hour before we would be on stage, the guy playing the lead role couldn’t make it due to a funeral. So, our back-up plan had been that I would sing one of my guitar songs. Since it was February 3, I shared a bit about the accident with the students and sang “All My Hope,” a song I wrote that sounds like it was written before the accident, but actually I wrote in 2006. Here’s an excerpt:

“All My Hope”
Things in life can change so fast;
The future looks so unlike the past.
In just a moment things can change;
You’re left wondering how to rearrange.
Sometimes it’s hard to just find hope,
Especially when you’re just trying to cope.
When everything is crashing down,
How can you stand when there’s no ground?
Chorus:
But all I know is there is hope in the Rock I cling to
For I know that His love endures all things
Yesterday, and today, and tomorrow the same
All my hope is in the One who doesn’t change


A few Saturdays ago, I shared briefly about the accident and sang the song last year, “Beauty from Ashes,” to about 130 young people at a gathering in Gaborone. In future posts, I’ll share more about that and the other cool stuff God is doing in Gaborone.

Oh! A big prayer request is that for March I’ll be organizing a program each Sunday morning on Yarona FM again, a main national radio station. It’s part of the Month of Youth Against AIDS, and we will be encouraging a lifestyle of abstinence and faithfulness to help curb the spread of HIV. Please pray for all the planning and the actual live programs each Sunday morning. Thanks!

Thanks for reading. I know this was a long one. I thought about splitting it up, but figured I’d just keep it all in one spot. I’ll keep future posts shorter and try to write more often!

Blessings,
Em

Off to YouthWeek!!

Greetings everyone!

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s!

Just a short note today to say hi and to let you know that, though we camped near them, I didn’t get eaten by hippos or crocodiles up north in Botswana. That short trip was quite exciting and had some memorable times, but I’ll share the details later.

Now the focus is another trip—leaving tomorrow at 6am for Youth for Christ’s annual Youth Week camp in South Africa! I’ve been one of the two main organizers of the Botswana contingent of campers (it brings together close to 800 youth from across southern Africa). Right now I’m printing off the final list of campers who will board the chartered bus tomorrow at 7:00am and ride down to Magaliesburg, South Africa. Dealing with administration (advertising, registration, deposits, final payments, permission slips, etc) of 74 people is not exactly my highest joy in life, but I’m thankful it’s almost over and I can just enjoy the camp with the youth.

Today we had a meeting at the YFC centre in Gaborone for those attending the camp. We did some icebreaker games to get to know each other and then learned a “war cry” cheer/dance that we will use for team spirit in the sport competitions against the other contingents. It was TONS of fun! So I’m excited for a great week! Everyone is pumped to go! The theme this year is Superheroes and each contingent is supposed to pick a superhero as their mascot or team name…so we chose Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Epic! That was one of my favorite shows as a kid, and apparently most all the Batswana kids grew up watching it on TV as well…or they show reruns now or something. Cowabunga dude!

I’m also excited to serve as one of the cabin leaders to lead discussions/prayer in our cabin. Please pray that the Lord works mightily in the hearts of the youth, as well as the leaders, so that we all come away from this week refreshed and deeper in love with Christ.

Alright, time to go finish packing.

Blessings this New Year!!

~Em

HUGE P.S. – Tumelo gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Christmas day! She had been hoping for a Christmas baby, and she indeed was blessed with a little gift from above!